How is that disturbing?
Just being someone else's memory, seeing myself through your eyes.
2. I always assumed you had forgotten me.
No , I had a pretty clear picture of you in my mind. I've wanted to talk to you for so long that now it's just real. I felt everything out of my mouth should be…
(Feelings are always more than we can say. )
3. I decided what I really wanted to do was to find things that could be fixed and try to fix them.
4. TV was in a language I didn't understand. There was nothing to buy. No advertisements any where. So all I'd been doing was walk around, think and write. My brain felt like it was at rest, free from the consuming frenzy. It was just like a natural high. I felt so peaceful inside. No strange urge to be somewhere else, to shop. Maybe it could have seemed like boredom at first, but it quickly became very very soulful.
(That's why we want to travel to an absolutely strange place. Hearing the unfamiliar language, you yourself seems to be the only person you can talk to. By doing this, you'll find the real self deep inside the heart.)
5. The true work of improving things is in the little achievements of the day.
(But we are all eager to see the change overnight.)
6. The people that are the most giving, hardworking and capable of making this world better usually don't have the ego and ambition to be a leader. They don't see any interest in superficial rewards. They don't care if their name ever appear in the press. They actually enjoy the process of helping others.
(Come on. Don't be low profile. The world needs you, like we need the wind to blow dark clouds away from the sun.)
7. Desire is the fuel of life.
Not wanting anything, isn't that a symptom of depression? It's healthy to desire.
I feel really alive when I want something more than just basic survival needs. Wanting, whether it's intimacy with another person, or a pair of shoes, is beautiful. I like that we have those ever-renewing desires.
Maybe it's this sense of entitlement. It's OK to want things, as long as you aren't pissed off if you don't get them.
(Desires drive us forward. Without them, why should we endure all the sufferings? What for? )
8. I was dealing my life the same way I am now. I was much more hopeful and naïve. But the core, and the way I was feeling things, is exactly the same. It made me realize I haven't changed much at all.
We have these innate set points and nothing much that happens to us changes our disposition.
(I remain almost the same as several years ago. Should it be celebrated or sighed about?)
9. People just have an affair, or even entire relationships, they break up and they forget. They move on like they would have changed brand of cereals. I feel I was never able to forget anyone I've been with, because each person had their own specific qualities. You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost.
10. When you are young, you just believe there'll be many people you'll connect with. Later in life you realize it only happens a few times.
And you can screw it up. Misconnect.
(And eventually you'll find it most normal to be alone spiritually, no matter how many people are around you.)
11. I had this idea of my best self, and I wanted to pursue that, even if it might have been overriding my honest self. In the moment I remember thinking it didn't much matter, the who of it all. Nobody is gonna be everything to you. And it's just the action of committing yourself, meeting your responsibility, that matters.
I feel like I'm running a small nursery with somebody I used to date.
(What else can be more tragic than such kind of marriage?)
12. Men need to feel essential and they don't anymore. It's been imprinted in their head for so many years that they had to be the provider. I'm a strong and independent woman in my professional life. I don 't need a man to feed me but I still need a man to love me and that I could love.
(Hit the nail on the head!)
13. It's not easy for me to be a romantic. You start off that way, and after you've been screwed over a few times you forget about your delusional ideas and you just take what comes into your life.
(How we gradually compromise to the world…)
14.It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things. And now it's like I don't believe in anything that relates to love. I don't feel things for people anymore ….Reality and love are almost contradictory for me….I've been heartbroken too many times and then I recovered. So now from the start I make no effort, because I know it's not gonna work out.
(Disappointment×disappointment=desperation )
15. I'm dying inside. I'm dying because I'm so numb. I don't feel pain or excitement, I'm not even bitter.
(We need all kinds of emotions to remind ourselves that we are still alive, but not walking skeletons.)
16. My life is 24/7bad. …I don't love her the way she needs to be loved. I don't even see a future for us….There's no joy or laughter in my home….falling down into tears, admitting they never loved their spouse and they feel their life has been sucked up into a vacuum cleaner….We are just living in the pretense of a marriage, responsibility….My wife is there looking at me. And I feel like I'm a million miles from her.
(Go to hell! You bastard! If you don't love her, why you laid her down?! Don't put on a victim face and say "since she's pregnant, I'm just taking my responsibility. Look, I' m a man with great sense of responsibility.” Bullshit! You destroy she entire life by getting married with her, destroying all her chances of being loved by someone worthwhile. You know the way she needs to be loved but you don't do so Instead, you think constantly of another girl. And from bottom of your heart you think your wife is to blame for more or little being the obstacle between you and your lover. On the other side, it's unfair to your lover. You don' t have right to say how much you love her! Minus point! Get out!)
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