Let the child make a mistake, the sky will not fall.
I don't know since when, youth began to be inextricably linked with the terms depression and suicide.
Just a few days ago, such a tragedy happened again. At about 10 pm on April 17, a bridge jumping accident occurred at Shanghai Lupu Bridge. The bridge jumper was a 17-year-old boy in the second year of high school, who was confirmed by 120 to be dead on the spot. According to the boy's mother, the son was criticized by her for having conflicts with his classmates at school. When she was driving to the Lupu Bridge, her son suddenly ran out of the car door and jumped off the bridge.
This scene is reminiscent of a movie "Miss Bird" released in 2017, which has a similar plot: the girl Christine, dissatisfied with her mother's control, quarreled with her in the car, and got out of the moving car. jumped down. Although she just broke her arm, that scene was still extremely shocking.
The main conflict between Christine and her mother is her college choice. Meager-income mothers want their daughters to attend a California public university not far from home to save on tuition. The daughter is full of contempt for the small California city that lacks cultural atmosphere, and yearns for the northeastern private schools that promote liberal arts education but have expensive tuition fees.
The huge gap between the dream and the reality, coupled with the mother and daughter's pointed personalities towards Maimang, made Christine choose to resist and run away. She ditched the name her parents had given her and named herself "Lady Bird". "Lady Bird" can be literally translated as Miss Bird - when people want to escape from reality, they seem to want to become a bird and fly away and get a new life.
This name will also remind people of the story of the "footless bird" told by Ah Fei in "The True Story of Ah Fei": There is a kind of bird in this world that has no feet. It can only fly and fly all the time. Sleeping in the wind, this bird can only go to the ground once in its lifetime, and that time is when it dies.
Similar to the state of youth, they are flying aimlessly and cannot stop. Because youth is always confused, there is no clear understanding of the future, family, and self. But youth has infinite possibilities because it has another theme: growth.
Growth, the most important theme of the film "Miss Bird". When the heroine first appeared, she was very rebellious, changed her name, quarreled with her mother, insisted on leaving her hometown for New York, refused to let her father drive the car into the school to cover up her poverty, and obtained the friendship of rich girls by lying. These behaviors all show her denial of herself and her unwillingness to accept everything she has.
But she also longed for her mother's approval. A large part of the film describes the constant friction between the heroine and her mother over trivial matters, and she constantly complains about her mother to her friends, but these reflect the meticulous attention and concern between mother and daughter. What she really can't let go of is that her mother is picky about herself everywhere, because she is afraid that her mother can't accept her real self.
The brilliance of the film is also here: not only the personal growth of the heroine, but the growth of the mother and daughter. In the constant conflict and confrontation, they slowly accepted each other and accepted themselves living in the present.
At the end of the film, the daughter took a plane to New York, and her mother burst into tears at the airport because she missed the farewell, because she loved her daughter deeply. After her daughter arrived in her dream New York, she looked at the unfamiliar big city and suddenly understood that her roots were always in her hometown, her ordinary poor family. Then, she changed back to her old name: Christine.
So the footless bird finally gave birth to its own feet and took root in a place called "home". This is growth, self-interpretation and acceptance. Many people say that "Miss Bird" tells the truest look of our youth. Although our lives are different, the growth process is always similar.
But back to real life, many young lives, but they didn't have time to bloom, they withered and ended early. Just like the 17-year-old boy in Shanghai who jumped off the bridge, leaving endless pain and regret to all those who care about him.
So, who is to blame? That boy, or her mother? Going back to the suicide incident itself, we can easily find that the main reason for juvenile suicide is the sensitive and restless heart in adolescence. Just like Christine in "Miss Bird", they are both prone to extremes and extremes, and they all choose to commit suicide. But the difference is that Kristin was lucky enough to just break his arm and still have a chance to grow, but this young man's life was forever fixed on the leap on that bridge.
Therefore, we should pay more attention to adolescent children, because they are still very fragile, very immature, and their hearts are not mature enough. We must carefully capture the little happiness and sadness in their hearts, and take care of them.
But on the other hand, we also have to give them enough space for their sensitive hearts. Respect their small thoughts and treat them as equal and free individuals. In "Miss Bird", the contradiction between mother and daughter due to school choice may be resolved after several long and calm discussions. In the Shanghai Lupu Bridge incident, if the mother can give her children a little tolerance, things may be over.
In this regard, the movie Escort Parents set an example for all parents, which was a popular comedy movie last year. The story is very simple: three American families have three worry-free daughters. They are good friends from the same school. They are approaching the graduation party. The three girls meet to taste the forbidden fruit collectively. A series of ironic "escort operations" were launched.
It is conceivable that if Chinese parents find out about trying to taste the forbidden fruit, they will immediately go crazy, and it will be a lesson to their children to cover their faces. In "Parents Escort", although the parents are also very worried about their daughters and wish to beat up those high school boys who hooked up with their daughters, they always maintain restraint, carefully maintain respect for their daughters, and keep enough for them Space.
The reason why their actions to protect their daughters are full of jokes is also because they respect their daughters and are afraid that their daughters will find out about the actions of adults, so they have to cover up. By accident, the three adults followed all the way to protect their daughters, and had to hide themselves in order to cover up their whereabouts... The three girls changed locations due to various circumstances, and their parents also caught up all the way. Entering the wild party of young people and bumping into other parents' open behavior...
The ending of the movie is particularly warm. The three parents respected their daughters' choices and let them go their own way in life. This also taught us Chinese parents a lesson: as long as the children are serious and act cautiously Choose, you should respect her. That's what makes this low-budget comedy film worth mentioning, how to get along with teens and face the big choices in their lives? The parents in Escort Parents did it right.
In short, the same sentence: children are not the children of an adult, they are independent individuals belonging to the society, and they need to be given space for their own choices. Even, let the adolescent children occasionally make mistakes, the sky will not fall . Thousands of parents understand this truth earlier, accept this fact earlier, and avoid the tragedy earlier.
View more about Lady Bird reviews
