In fact, as long as you are not within 50 kilometers of your home, but live in Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou or any larger city due to work, study, etc., this problem will always accompany you.
Sometimes you will even be amazed at the excellent associative thinking and fluent expression skills of your parents and relatives, because no matter what topic they are talking about, they can get around the main point: life is more stable, it is better to study and work close to home, why do you have to go outside drift?
If we look at the world, the question of "closer to home or a metropolis" is not only flourishing in China, but also in the Americas on the other side of the ocean. The movie Lady Bird even got a Best Picture Oscar nomination for this year.
Christine, a senior in high school in Sacramento, California, has the biggest dream of leaving her hometown and going to college in New York. In her words, New York is the real cultural place. As for her plan, her mother Marion was very opposed to it.
There are three reasons for Marion: First, let's be honest. With her daughter's strength, she would probably go to a community college, and New York would definitely not be possible. Second, even if you are lucky enough to go to a good university, you may not necessarily find a good job. Look at the son and his girlfriend, with Berkeley's degree, they still can't find a job and do odd jobs in the supermarket (Berkeley is pitiful). Third, her husband is unemployed and depressed, and she has just barely supported the family with her meager salary as a nurse, so how can she afford her daughter to study in New York.
But Christine doesn't see it that way. She felt that her mother underestimated her and did not believe her abilities at all. In order to make her stand, she even opened the door and jumped out after hearing these words in the car. The level of her anger, I believe the audience can feel it across the screen.
Like most 18-year-old girls, Christine wants to live in a future like the future of high-heeled shoes and hot coffee trotting between skyscrapers in a fashion magazine blockbuster.
She yearns for the city, even in her small bathroom, she can't help wrapping her head in a bath towel, wanting to live out the delicacy of a five-star hotel. It's a pity that her mother pulled her back to reality for a second and showed no mercy: "Do you need two bath towels, then tell me next time, this affects my day schedule, and I have to wash all the clothes and towels before going to work."
Can't wait to go to college, she can't wait to change things now.
First of all, she had to get rid of the family background she didn't like. She gave herself a new name Lady Bird, and she was not allowed to be called Christine again. She also lied that her home was the most exquisite blue villa in Sacramento.
When she was in school, she asked her father to park far away from the school to avoid being seen by her classmates. In order to be friends with the school's Bai Fumei, she not only drifted away from her good friend Julie, but even teased the nun teacher who admired her behind her back.
It's a pity that her efforts were used in the wrong place. Christine's lie was quickly debunked, and she had to return to her family and friends in disgrace.
It was also at this time that she realized that the family and friends she despised were the ones who really cared about her, and their sincerity made Christine re-examine herself and accept herself and her family.
If the story is just that, Lady Bird is just another Mean Girl at best.
What makes Lady Bird different is that it portrays the contradictions and repetitions of our upbringing as vividly and vividly as life itself. This is also a narrative style that director Greta Gerwig is very good at.
Although the rebellious Christine is obsessed with her New York dream, she also goes to coffee shops to work odd jobs to support her family. Although she quarreled with her mother and said "all the money you raised for me will be returned to you, I will not say a word to you", but when her boyfriend said that it was not her mother, she would retort without hesitation " She loves me very much."
In the same way, a mother would argue with her daughter "why are you so selfish and think we can't do enough for you", but she will soften her heart and call her Lady Bird as she wishes, even though she knows her daughter changed her name because of this She was a little embarrassed at home.
Even after learning that Christine secretly reported to New York school behind her back, she was so angry that she didn't talk to her for a summer vacation, but in the end, after Christine flew away, she burst into tears and rushed to the airport regretfully. In the days of anger and zero communication, how many nights she worked until late at night, she wrote a thick stack of unsent letters to Christine under the dim light.
The repeated conflicts and compromises between the family make the drama look incredibly gracious across cultures and borders.
Why isn't your life like this? Families consider arrangements for each other with the best starting point, but they ignore each other's real needs because of wishful thinking, and quarrel, regret, reconcile, and go back and forth because their efforts cannot return approval and gratitude.
For most of us, the conflict between us and our parents is deeply embedded in the genes of the times. It is normal for two generations to have different views on work and family because of different life backgrounds, and it is certain that the quarrels on such topics are almost endless.
But thinking about it carefully, I have read and quarreled a hundred times "How good is it to study and work close to home, why do you have to go outside to float?", in the end, it is still the worry and concern about the children wandering alone in a foreign land.
The flow of warmth between family members mostly occurs when we compromise because of love, even if we don't think the other party is right.
But how far should compromise go? Is it selfless abandonment of self or firm pursuit of dreams?
I think it's not a black-and-white question, but depends on each person's ability to balance their own pursuits and family needs.
In the last summer of high school, Christine became more and more understanding of her mother, but she quietly applied to college in New York and got a student loan with the help of her father. In her heart, the New York dream must continue.
As she walked the streets of New York, she missed Sacramento, her hometown reappearing in her life as a memory. She stopped calling herself Lady Bird, and when she called home, she said, "Mom and Dad, I now love the name you gave me, Christine."
If combined with director Greta Gerwig's own experience, this semi-autobiographical Lady Bird can probably be seen as her answer to the question of "closer to home or a big city".
Greta Gerwig, also from Sacramento, has longed for the metropolitan life on the east coast as the heroine since she was a child. She also went to New York to study at university, and stayed to continue chasing her movie dream. The films she co-wrote and starred in, Frances Ha and Mistress America, were also set in New York.
In particular, Frances Ha, the story of a 27-year-old American dream-seeking young woman who achieved nothing in New York (highly recommended), may also have a shadow of Greta Gerwig herself.
Some critics say that Lady Bird is Greta's love letter to Sacramento, and I think she should agree 100%. The film opens with a quote from Sacramento writer Joan Didion's introduction to the New York Times: Anyone who talks about California hedonism has never spent a Christmas in Sacramento.
Great. If New York is likened to a dream, Sacramento is likened to family/family. Whether it is director Greta Gerwig or writer Joan Didion, they have successfully made their name a bridge between the two cities, finding their own balance between their dreams and their hometowns. .
If there is any secret, I guess it is hard work and persistence.
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