"Every profession in the world requires qualification certification, but parents, the profession that requires qualifications the most, do not have qualification certification." This sentence is said to come from the Japanese writer Sakamoto Kotaro. In the past few days, this sentence appears frequently in comments discussing the death of children in Tianjin.
Two children died in the accident, should the parents of the children be held responsible? Of course it should. On the one hand, protecting children is the obligation of parents. On the other hand, from the perspective of the effect of protecting children, the greater the responsibility of parents, the lower the cost of protecting children.
Therefore, there is no need to say more about the question of whether the parent is responsible.
Yet I still feel unfulfilled.
I was afraid to watch the video of the child falling from the building. I heard that the parent was squatting there and crying. Perhaps for him as a client: what responsibility is irresponsible has no meaning. His life may be meaningless from now on, and he has paid the heaviest price for his mistakes. What about innocence? What about jail time? To him, it made no difference.
Of course, the emphasis on responsibility still has social significance and a warning significance. This is the necessity of our rational analysis of this matter. But I always thought that comments can't just stop at rationality. If the comments stop here, rationality is enough, but it lacks temperature.
The parent didn't need anyone to tell him that he was responsible for his child's death, how could he not know? What he needs, perhaps, is a sympathetic understanding that might help him get out of the abyss, or he may never get out.
It is easy to reason, but it is difficult to understand the specific situation and mood of the client. If we can easily write the article, just because of the emotion in it, we still don't understand it. And even if I say that, it doesn't mean that I can understand the pain of that father.
Ashamed to say, this tragedy made me feel this way because I watched a movie with a similar plot not long ago, Manchester by the Sea, which imagined for us what happened after the tragedy.
This is a particularly depressing movie. The protagonist played by Casey Affleck goes out to buy wine in the middle of the night. Before leaving, he adds some wood to the fireplace at home, but forgets to close the security door. And when he came back, the flames flew into the air, and all three of his children were buried in the sea of fire.
There is such a scene in the film, when the police took a transcript for him, he recounted what happened with a dull expression, the police looked at him with pity, and then told him that he could go home. The protagonist raised his head and muttered to himself: Am I alright? can i go? He stood up and walked slowly towards the door... Suddenly, he grabbed the policeman's pistol beside him, tried to commit suicide with the gun, and was pushed to the ground by the policeman.
In the rest of his life, he completely closed his heart, like a corpse, without any vitality or hope. The tragedy became an untouchable scar, and because of the trauma, he could no longer live in his native Manchester. And the movie is so desperate.
After watching such a movie and looking back at the news, you will find that there are a lot of things to say. Does it make sense? Blame each other? For the person involved, even sympathy may be a kind of harm.
I remember Jin Yong wrote this paragraph in the postscript of "Eternal Dragon Slayer": "In fact, the emotional focus of this book is not the love between men and women, but the love between men and men, the brothers-like feelings of the Seven Heroes of Wudang, Zhang Sanfeng's love for Zhang Cuishan and Xie Xun for Zhang Wuji's father and son. However, Zhang Sanfeng's grief when he saw Zhang Cuishan's suicide, Xie Xun's sadness when he heard the news of Zhang Wuji's death, the book is too superficial, and it is not like this in real life. Because that I still don't understand
at the time." When writing the afterword, Jin Yong's son committed suicide.
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