The Days For You and Me

Miles: [reaching across Iris to grab something on counter] Okay, sorry about that.

[pregnant pause]

Miles: Boob graze.

[Iris briefly surprised, then burst into merry laughter, with Miles joining in with a chuckle]

Miles: That was accidental.

[gazing around with sheepish smile]

Miles: Accidental boob graze. I'm sorry.

Iris: Change of subject.

[trying to restrain laughter]

Miles: Okay.

Jasper: You know what I was thinking? When you get back to London, maybe we could sneak off somewhere together. Maybe Venice. You and me in Venice could be good.

Iris: Do you mean that? I mean, are you free to do that?

Jasper: Darling, I've just traveled halfway across the world to see you, haven't I?

Iris: [Iris & Jasper almost kiss before Iris pulls away] Yeah, that doesn't exactly answer my question. So, are you not with Sarah anymore? I mean, is that what you've come here to tell me?

Jasper: I wish you could just accept knowing how confused I am about all this.

Iris: Okay, let me translate that. So, you are still engaged to be married?

Jasper: Yes, but, I mean...

Iris: Oh, my God.

[Iris gets up from the couch]

Iris: This was a really close call. You know, I never really though I'd say this, literally never, but I think you were absolutely right about us. Very square peg, very round hole.

Jasper: You cannot mean that.

Iris: The great thing is I actually do. And I'm about three years late in telling you this, but nevertheless I need to say it. Jasper. Wait, I need the lights on. Jasper, you have never treated me right. Ever.

Jasper: Oh, babe.

Iris: Shush. You broke my heart. And you acted like somehow it was my fault, my misunderstanding, and I was too in love with you to ever be mad at you, so I just punished myself! For years! But you waltzing in here on my lovely Christmas holiday, and telling me that you don't want to lose me whilst you're about to get MARRIED, somehow newly entitles me to say, it's over. This - This twisted, toxic THING between us, is finally finished! I'm miraculously done being in love with you! Ha! I've got a life to start living.

[Picks up Jasper's jacket, walking to the door]

Iris: And you're not going to be in it.

Jasper: Darling.

Iris: Now I've got somewhere really important to be, and you have got to get the hell out.

[Opens the door]

Iris: Now!

Jasper: What exactly has got into you?

Iris: I don't know.

[Pushes Jasper out the door]

Iris: But I think what I've got is something slightly resembling, gumption.

[Slams door shut in Jasper's face. Lifts hands up and screams with joy]