One
we finally got married. Me and Derek. Looking at Mr. Sweet Dream's affectionate eyes, I couldn't help laughing. It turns out that getting married brings me such a great sense of happiness. If I had known, I should have married my MR. Dreamy sooner.
Every day, looking at his face when he didn't wake up, looking at his expression at me, looking at him who was still patient when I was mad, and looking at his firm and strong in the operating room, my heart couldn't help smiling.
Yes, I am M, the paranoid, insecure Meredith Grey who used to sing every night and wanted to give up on herself.
I often think of those days when I had to face to face with a psychiatrist to reminisce.
Why was I so afraid. My mother's derailment and neglect, my father's departure and abandonment, these hurt me deeply. I am just a child lost at night, without light, without warmth, surrounded by fear and loneliness every day.
When I fell in love with Derek but found out about Edison's existence, I was about to go crazy, I rushed forward and yelled "choose me, love me" with him, I think my eyes were full of despair.
I wasn't sure what I was thinking when I fell into the sea, or I didn't think anything at all, so I sank deeper and deeper. Then, I saw my mother, and Derek. Then I woke up. Thank God I woke up.
When I was able to say "I Love You" smoothly to Derek, I could hear my inner carnival. Yes, I can, I can face up to my emotions.
Life is always busy and repetitive. All we can do is, hurry up and tell your lover that we love each other deeply and tightly while we can still love each other.
Two
I know a lot of people don't like me. I've never wanted to be a likable person. Don't need the hospitality of others, don't need too close relationships. I'm not pretty or gentle, but I'm hardworking and smart. I love surgery, I love surgery, I know I can be the best, and that's enough.
However, I can't stand to be what Burke calls the invisible hand behind my back. It's ridiculous that the stupid screenwriter got me dumped because of disputes with actors in real life. This will freeze my finally tender side in no time. I admit that in a world without Burke, I am lonely. But I don't want to reveal too much, except to face M, although she is often confused and wordy.
In the real world, everyone doesn't need to be a passionate Izzy Steven, I'd rather be the cold-hearted one, which also means less talking and less dealing with ignorant and stupid people. What I have to do, in fact, is very simple, is to strive to become the best one.
About the story with the military doctor, it is not surprising at all. His tough hands and offbeat temperament appeal to me as much as Burke's independence and grace. When he picked me up with the ice pick stuck in my chest, I seemed to see me who had passed out after the operation and was held in Burke's arms. In life, you will meet many different people, but whatever attracts you must have similarities.
Izzy is seriously ill, and I am heartbroken. But life always has to go on. The day I said I love him, he said "yes, I do" as long as I let me go. Christina Young is not afraid of anything, let alone a "yes, I do". I think we will be happy. Even without a sixth season, I'm not going to let him go as easily as I let Burke.
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