"Marriage Story" gave me the direct feeling that the pain of divorce is not only about losing the marriage, but also when you have to kill it yourself, sound the death knell for yourself, and put on sack and filial piety for yourself.
Divorce is not terrible, the terrible thing is: love still exists, but marriage has come to an end.
Nicole and Charlie are a natural match, a dazzling actress and a talented director. They are both life partners and business partners.
Charlie loves Nicole's tenderness, cuteness, and informality. Here's how he describes Nicole:
She will listen carefully when others speak, and can play with the children for a long time. He cuts his and his son's hair, and can open bottle caps with his bare hands. Throwing things around, brewing tea but forgetting to drink it, the house is filled with cups and cups of tea she made.
And Charlie's is fearless and never gives up what she wants to do. Self-reliant and tidy, always knowing what you want. Watching a movie makes you cry, and your clothes are of good quality, which is too rare for a man.
Thought they were throwing dog food. But when the camera turned, it turned out that the two wrote at the request of the emotional mediator: why did they fall in love with each other in the first place.
Yes, Nicole and Charlie are in the process of getting a divorce.
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Why do you want to get divorced when your relationship is so good?
It turned out that after the marriage Nicole has been focusing on Charlie's career and gave up the opportunity to make a lot of money by filming TV shows in Los Angeles to join Charlie's troupe in New York.
After her son was born, she spent a lot of time raising the child and taking care of the family.
Nicole everything is centered on Charlie. Charlie is successful, winning awards, and becoming a director, but she's dimming herself.
"I don't see myself, I don't even have my own taste. Charlie doesn't see me either, he sees me as a part of him," Nicole said.
She wanted to convince Charlie to move to Los Angeles to live together and regain his career, but Charlie refused. New York was his territory, and it was his ideal to be king on Broadway.
Nothing could stop Charlie, nothing was as important as his achievements, and Nicole was extremely disappointed.
The two often quarreled. During the separation, Nicole found out that Charlie had slept with the costumer of the troupe.
In fact, these two people have not reached the stage of divorce from the emotional point of view.
Although it was about to go to court, when Nicole went down the stairs, her feet were unsteady, and Charlie immediately helped him up.
When he left his home, he didn't forget to turn off the lights for Nicole.
The door of Nicole's house was broken, and Charlie came to fix it, and Nicole cut his head by the way.
And when Charlie was hesitating to talk about the performance that night, Nicole immediately said, you won't be able to sleep if you don't.
Even if she gets divorced, Nicole is the person who knows Charlie best in the world.
In a long life, being considerate and caring has become a habit and a muscle memory. Who can bear to say leave?
The family of three lay in bed at night, Charlie was reading to the child, and listening to Nicole's tears fell from the corners of his eyes.
She is the one who is most reluctant to leave, but she is also the one who is determined to divorce.
To make an inappropriate analogy, both of them were originally scumbags, but one of them secretly excelled on the shoulders of the other, so the former scumbag and the current scumbag could not get along together.
That's why they got divorced.
Usually we think that love is the guarantee of long-term marriage. This is the old yellow calendar. Times have changed. For modern people, if the two sexes cannot develop equally, even if the feelings still exist, they must be separated.
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Soon both parties hired a lawyer, and the divorce battle officially started.
The first battle was to seek mediation in Nicole's lawyer's office.
The two are fighting over custody of the child, and Nicole hopes to raise her son in Los Angeles. Charlie was completely unacceptable, so he couldn't see his son as often because Los Angeles and New York were thousands of kilometers apart.
Nicole's lawyer is very powerful, and after a few tricks, Charlie's lawyer feels that he is going to lose. He advises Charlie to accept Nicole's terms. If it goes to court, the opponent has a high probability of winning. At that time, the lawsuit was lost again after spending a lot of legal fees.
Charlie was so annoyed that he didn't want to lose, so he paid a lot of money to hire a lawyer.
Before the trial, Nicole's lawyer couldn't help taking a deep breath when he saw the strong lineup brought by Richard. She told Nicole that there must be a tough battle today.
Here is a sentence, the two lawyer scenes in the film are very durable.
Nicole hired a female lawyer with long hair and a shawl, and a graceful figure, and Charlie's lawyer looked like a powerful old man.
The confrontation between the two lawyers in court is exactly a symbol of the battle between the two worlds of men and women.
The lawyer on Charlie's side was aggressive. At the outset, Nicole is nothing more than an entertainer in erotic films, and Charlie is a talented avant-garde director.
It was because Charlie hired Nicole that she became an actress with a high reputation, so Charlie should not pay Nicole alimony, but instead Charlie was entitled to half of Nicole's income.
The lawyers demeaned Nicole as selling her looks and relying on men. This is a typical male-dominated perspective, and it is very hateful.
That's when Nicole's lawyer takes on the challenge.
Interestingly, she did not respond immediately, but took off her jacket slowly, revealing a sexy pink suspender top.
This detail is yours.
A female lawyer, in an industry where men are absolutely dominant, what does she rely on to compete? In addition to having the same professionalism and strength as men, her body and appearance are also weapons.
You may feel that this move is not the way to go, but there is no denying that only disadvantaged competitors can be so extreme.
As this female lawyer said, women will always be held to a different and higher standard.
The idea of a good father only came about 30 years ago. Dad can be a jerk, but mom has to be perfect. The Virgin Mary gave birth to Jesus, but she was still a virgin! Society uses such absurd standards to demand women.
If the competition is not fair, some people will go to the extreme.
Although the concept of equality between men and women has been popularized for nearly 100 years, women are still a disadvantaged group in families and all walks of life in society. The difference is that they no longer endure silently.
100 years ago, a woman taking off her coat meant pleasing a man, today it is rebellion.
Nicole's lawyer showed no signs of weakness. She said, if you don't pay alimony, then we'll ask for half of Charlie's winnings.
The opposing lawyer retorted that Charlie won the award because of his genius. What does this have to do with Nicole?
Nicole's lawyer replied: Nicole refused many opportunities after marriage and concentrated on raising children. Charlie became a genius in marriage.
This reminds me of someone asking Obama's wife, Michelle, what it's like to be married to the president, and Michelle replied, "If he doesn't marry me, he can't be president."
Men, not even the president's family, have been able to achieve impressive feats thanks to women's sacrifices for family, childbirth and upbringing.
So, as Nicole's lawyer says: male achievement is an intangible asset in a marriage.
The divorce battle ended in Nicole's victory. She and her lawyer, the two women who win the opposite man, Nicole can live in Los Angeles with her son.
But divorce is just like that. No matter how beautiful a lawsuit is won, it feels like you screwed up your life.
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This scene actually shows Nicole's helplessness and anger as a woman from another side.
She has made huge sacrifices for her family and her children, at the expense of her own development, in exchange for Charlie's career and her children's childhood. Without her carrying life alone, Charlie wouldn't have gotten that far, and the kids wouldn't have grown up healthy.
However, at home she is the most neglected, Charlie always put himself first.
When Nicole complained to Charlie that I am your wife and you have to think about my happiness, Charlie said, you were happy then, and you are just judging that you were unhappy at that time.
He ignores his wife's troubles, because his wife's wishes will affect his future. Perhaps in his eyes, Nicole was not the one who supported him and sacrificed for him, but the one who wanted to hold him back.
I am reminded of the famous American female Justice Ginsburg's famous saying: Liberation of women should start with the liberation of men.
If men subconsciously believe that the time and energy women spend on housework, childbirth, and raising are justified, and women are born with them as the center, how can he be grateful.
The so-called gratitude to the other half is just a beautiful word when winning the award.
And when Nicole felt unfair arguing with Charlie, Charlie said arrogantly: You don't want a voice, you just want to complain that you don't have a voice.
The arrogant, arrogant Charlie represents the male world's attitude towards women, not understanding but a condescending criticism.
Nicole was furious, and the two of them had their most heated arguments since their divorce. In a fit of rage, Charlie smashed a hole in the wall.
It can be said that their marriage was separated twice before they really left.
Once in court, it was an intellectual severance; once in a furious quarrel, an emotional rupture.
The hole in the wall is the biggest scar in Nicole and Charlie's marriage. It's not feelings, it's not values, it's inequality between the sexes.
For thousands of years, this kind of inequality has been deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. When the rise of female consciousness becomes the mainstream of the times, conflicts are inevitable, and love is vulnerable in front of it.
The film ends a year later when Charlie tells Nicole that he has decided to move to Los Angeles, but Nicole already has a new boyfriend. Tears flashed in her smile when she heard the news. Charlie seems to have learned to make sacrifices for others, late but comforting.
In the twilight, Charlie and Nicole said goodbye, and he left with the sleeping child in his arms. Nicole suddenly stopped Charlie, she ran forward and squatted down. It turned out that Charlie's shoelaces were open, and Nicole helped him tie them.
At the end of the show, my tears started to fall.
Tragedy is to ruin good things for you to see. Divorce because you don't love is not unfortunate. Two people who love each other, equally good men and women, have to separate because of prejudice. This is the most painful divorce.
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It is gratifying that the director of the film is a man, which shows that more and more people are aware of the need to fight for women's rights.
Plus, as a male director, he showed Charlie's vulnerable side.
Once, Charlie learned from his lawyer that he might lose the case. He immediately said, no, I want to win, I have to win. But the next second, he covered his face and cried.
Another time, after the divorce, he was alone with his son. After a busy day, he had to pay for the visit of the investigator. In the evening, he accidentally cut himself, and he was in a hurry to bandage, but the bleeding continued.
When the child came, Charlie was afraid to scare him, lying on the ground, pressing his injured arm under him and pretending to say, I'm tired.
When our culture is to encourage men to be strong and dominant since childhood, it is actually an unbearable pressure for them. On the one hand they will act like warriors, on the other hand they will not be able to face failure at all and are very vulnerable.
The unequal treatment seems to be beneficial to men, but it is actually a kind of injury. Just like the knife that cut Charlie, Charlie just made a gesture, but he didn't expect it to be so sharp.
What the director wants to say is that the unequal relationship between the sexes also makes men cry.
There must be two lives in a marriage story.
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