The first thing that comes to my mind after watching the movie is this sentence, although this is the line " I love you, Dexter. So much. I just don't like you anymore " in the movie "One Day ". My understanding of this sentence is: love cannot be suppressed, but liking can. When saying this sentence, the narrator is still irresistibly attracted by the other party: it may be the other party's talent, or even the way he smiles, love is always so unreasonable and fascinating. But liking is a more superficial emotion: if you like someone, maybe you will follow his figure unconsciously, and you will do a lot of things for him unconsciously. But for those who have already experienced the vicissitudes of life, he will choose to bury his love deep in his heart, be different from each other, and be safe.
In the movie "Marriage Story", even though the hero and heroine Charlie and Nicole have been completely torn because of the lawyer's intervention, they can still feel their love for each other. The love is still there, but they don't like each other anymore and can't go on anymore.
In order to fight for custody of the child, the husband and wife each hired a lawyer and went to court. The scene of the confrontation in the courtroom was brutal and unbearable. In order to win or lose, the lawyers on both sides did not care about the agent's feelings and each other's privacy, and put each other's feathers on the table. Just think, who doesn't complain in married life? But how embarrassing is it when these unintentional complaints are magnified to the court by those who are intentional?
After the trial, the husband and wife tried to negotiate separately at home, but they escalated into a heated argument because of the hurt and filth during the trial. The people you love the most hurt the most, because you know each other's scars and know where to stab them the most. When anger and resentment could no longer be controlled with reason, the two began to attack and even curse in life. Although Charlie realized his problem after cursing, he hugged and cried and apologized to Nicole. Nicole also stepped forward and hugged Charlie, but what he said was like a nail in the heart, and the scars from the nail were pulled out. exist. At this point, everyone, including the hero and heroine and the audience, knows: they can't go back.
The end of the film is another heartbreaking scene. After the divorce, Charlie became aware of loneliness and maladjustment, and a year later accepted a teaching position at an institution in Los Angeles. Ironically, it is mentioned in the film that Charlie had the opportunity to work in Los Angeles for a year a few years ago, but he refused; and after the divorce, faced with the same choice, he gave the opposite answer. At this point in the film, if it is replaced with a domestic film that prefers Happy Ending, the director may arrange a reversal of "beautiful for a while, chasing his wife in the crematorium", and finally usher in a big reunion. But the director of the film obviously doesn't think so. In the film, when Charlie, who was full of anticipation, came to Nicole's house in Los Angeles, he saw Nicole's new boyfriend and heard that Nicole was nominated for an Emmy Award (I thought the turning point here was a little bigger, after all Beauty Award nominations are not so easy), the spark of hope that had just been ignited was instantly extinguished.
At the end of the film, Charlie's character reading the letter is widely praised for his acting skills: his jaw muscles have been shaking uncontrollably, his saliva has been swallowed by huge mood swings, and the tears have been swirling in his eyes without falling. Fall, such a scene is far more sad than the tears alone.
At this point in the film, the director still thinks that the heat is not enough, and continues to add salt: Charlie left Nicole's house lonely, and Nicole found that Charlie's shoelaces were loosened, but because Charlie was holding his son Henry, Nicole squatted down naturally Lace up his shoes. If you simply cut out this clip, it will be a bit of a warm family life; but once it is put into this movie, when you think about the past, there is nothing but sigh.
At this point in the marriage, both parties must be at fault:
For Charlie, he shouldn't be cheating physically, or cheating on a female colleague, and he shouldn't ignore his wife's wishes in life and career. In the film, when Charlie denies that he and Nicole have negotiated a marriage and will try to get back to Los Angeles as much as possible, Nicole's lawyer Nora's comments are sharp but pertinent:
As for Nicole, although it seems that she loves more deeply, in fact, she also has a common problem with many women: she does not communicate in time when she encounters dissatisfaction in her marriage, and she just swallows her breath silently until she is suppressed to the point of uncontrollable outbreak. In one of the most heated arguments in the film, Nicole begins by slamming Charlie for being just like his jerk father, which also touches on Charlie's pain point and causes Charlie's emotional breakdown.
Having come this far, it is obviously meaningless to compare who has made more mistakes. In the end, is it because the two people should not be together because their personalities are incompatible, or is the marriage broken due to poor management? I prefer the latter.
One of the big sticking points is communication. In relationships, people are often cowardly and ashamed to express themselves, and the education of the older generation is even more "forbearance and it will pass". However, in modern society, with the enhancement of people's sense of independence and self-determination, there are more places to run in in marriage, and the significance of communication is more and more prominent. Not only love should be spoken out loud, but any emotion should be spoken out loud! Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and there are differences in the way of thinking between the two. Any dissatisfaction or incomprehension in marriage can only be felt by the other party when it is expressed, and a balance that is relatively comfortable for each other can be achieved. On the contrary, if you do not erupt in silence, you will die in silence.
Like does not equal love, marriage does not equal love. Use communication to operate well, and do it and cherish it.
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