Marriage story gave me a deeper understanding of marriage. I would have thought that unhappy marriages were due to the lack of love for each other, just like my parents, who were not married because of strong love, but simply because of fit. However, perhaps it is because Westerners are more free and unrestrained and are not bound by the complicated moral requirements of the East. In the movie, it is obvious that they love each other when they divorce, but they are separated because they do not compromise and consider each other. It should really be separated, the male lead is really a selfish bastard, he never listens to the voice of the female lead and the child, but just acts according to his own ideas. We talk about the importance of good communication between couples before, and now think about it, maybe it’s not just about honestly expressing your thoughts (because this westerner has done it well enough), but actually listening The other party's thoughts, this is the real difficulty.
I just saw an article by KY today that is talking about the self in intimate relationships, "We want to be free to be ourselves, and we hope that the behavior we show can be authentic, without modification, and completely in line with our original character. , At the same time, we also hope that the other party can unconditionally accept such a real us." "But in fact, although we have the need to maintain our true self in an intimate relationship, we also have the need to protect this relationship. Considering the other party's feelings is our effort to manage this relationship, it's not a false routine." I think this is actually reflected in the marriage story, we should consider the other party's feelings, not just for our own interests and To be happy, the management of a relationship requires compromise and effort from both parties, and cannot be one-sided, like the selfish male protagonist in the movie. In fact, this "self" can also be gradually developed and acquired in a healthy relationship with the positive influence of the other party. Of course, compromising in relationships is also a vulnerability in itself. We cannot easily change ourselves for the sake of a scumbag. Therefore, to develop an intimate relationship, we must choose carefully and take it seriously. A healthy relationship should be one where you can feel the truth of yourself and the other party, and you can get the growth you and the other party want.
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