01Some
people may think it is absurd, but I often feel that what I hold in my heart is a dream, and the person I will love deeply in the future should be perfect. The reason why you can't love is because that kind of perfection may not exist in the world. People always comfort themselves by saying that there must be someone who belongs to you looking for you just like you are looking for him, maybe at some point in the future you will meet unexpectedly and bump into each other, but in fact, for this I really don't believe it. I know deeply that I am too idealistic, and I am not a perfect person. I don't even have expectations of meeting a person who is perfect for me. .
However, I like "Pride and Prejudice" because Jane Austen used her novel to create a dream for me, a woman "who would rather live alone than give in to a loveless marriage will eventually meet her ideal. The dream of love", so, this movie and this book have been read countless times, and I am still moved.
Whether that person has it or not, come or not, the dream of love can always be done.
It is said that a research team at Cambridge University has analyzed the historical documents of 12 parishes in the United Kingdom and found that from 1775 to 1799, the average age of British women at first marriage was 24.7 years old, and the men and women who never married accounted for about 10% of the total population. For a quarter, the war led to the shortage of marriageable men and the "equivalent exchange" in the marriage market made it difficult for middle- and upper-class women to get married, and a large number of "leftover women" appeared.
Is this situation a bit similar to our current situation? Although there are not many men, there are still too many girls who choose to leave themselves alone.
At that time, when it was very difficult to get married, Jane Austen refused to marry for any purpose, except for love, she believed that only a marriage based on love could bring people real happiness, otherwise she would rather die alone , in fact she did. Therefore, she wrote her love into the novel, and asked the characters in the novel to talk about a love that she could only hope for.
02
Before meeting Darcy and Bingley, Elizabeth and Jane were in the same situation as those of us who are "forced to marry" today. The mother couldn't wait to marry her daughter. With boundless enthusiasm, she urges her daughters to participate in all kinds of social activities, and the mother's personality is the source of the frivolity of the two youngest daughters, Kitty and Lydia.
The two eldest daughters, Elizabeth and Jiying, are different. One of them is smart, proud, careful and wise, and the other is beautiful, gentle, pure and kind. They do not worship money, are not exaggerated, and are not pretentious. Jiying and Bingley are the first. It was love at first sight at the second ball, but it was almost ruined by Janet's shyness, Bingley's submissiveness, and the superficial behavior of the rest of the Bennets.
The emotional ups and downs of Elizabeth and Darcy are mainly due to the pride and stubbornness of the two people.
As Elizabeth said: "I can completely forgive his pride, as long as he doesn't come in my way."
Unfortunately, Darcy hurt her pride from the very beginning, when Bingley praised Elizabeth for being beautiful, and When I hope Darcy dances with her, Darcy said: "She's good looking, but she's not very good-looking, and it's not attractive to me; now I'm not in the mood for those other men who don't look down on her. The girl cheers."
It is estimated that any girl will be furious when she hears this, not to mention proud as Elizabeth.
So, I always felt that before Darcy confessed to Elizabeth, it was not that she did not love him, but that she did not allow herself to love him.
Have you ever tried, when you have a good impression of a person, if the person is arrogant to you or even speaks ill of you, then your goodwill towards him will be greatly reduced, and you may hint to yourself that you were right in the first place His good feelings are just an illusion, and he even keeps counting his shortcomings in his mind, in order to get himself a psychological balance. A person who cannot appreciate himself will never be a person worthy of his liking.
Therefore, the smart Elizabeth was easily deceived by villains like Wickham and believed his family's words, because Darcy's initial arrogance contributed to her preconceived prejudice against him.
But when the truth came out, Elizabeth gradually understood Darcy's true character, his enthusiasm, his kindness, and his deep affection, the line of defense she built for herself when facing him also instantly became invisible, and instead, It was the passionate love that gushed out of her heart, and only then did she realize that she had always loved him, and very much.
03
Proud people don't let themselves fall in love easily.
Just like what Elizabeth's father said at the end, "I can't believe that there are people in this world who are worthy of you." At first, Elizabeth thought so too. She hardly believed that there was any man in the world worthy of her love, so she said to Jiying "Only pure love can get me married, that's why I'm dying alone".
And Darcy's background and pride made him have too many requirements for the future "Mrs. Darcy", so at first he would dislike Elizabeth for not being beautiful enough, and he personally expressed to her his views on "talented women" "Women want She has many advantages to be called a talented woman, and she is proficient in music, singing, painting, and various modern languages... All of these must be possessed, and the more important quality is to improve the spiritual realm through extensive reading."
At the beginning, two people They are all facing each other with reason. Darcy thinks that the other party is not ideal, her background, her family, etc., so he suppresses his feelings, and Elizabeth has many misunderstandings about him and does not allow herself to like him, but sometimes you You will find that reason often loses to emotion.
Because rational perception is often a misunderstanding of yourself, you thought you would like a beautiful, gentle and demure person, but in the end you found out that you fell in love with a stubborn, mean and lively person, and you thought you would care about him Family, talent, family, but finally found that as long as you can be with him, everything becomes insignificant, you just love him and don't care about everything.
My favorite clip is the 05 version of the movie, where Darcy confessed to Elizabeth for the second time:
"Last night, the conversation between you and my aunt made me feel hopeful. I hardly dared to hope before, please. Tell me honestly, if your mood is still the same as in April, my wishes and emotions are still the same, as long as you say a word, I will never mention it again, if your feelings change, I want to tell you , you took my body and my soul, and I love...I love...I love you. I don't want to be separated from you from today."
Elizabeth didn't answer, just walked up to him with a smile and grabbed his hand , kissed, and said, "Your hands are so cold."
"Your hands are so cold" must be the most beautiful love words in the world for Darcy.
04
As a reader who highly agrees that marriage should be based on love, I am not only obsessed with the love of Elizabeth and Darcy, but also respect another kind of marriage in the book: the Collins couple.
Miss Lucas married the arrogant, ridiculous but wealthy Collins because of her age of twenty-seven, poverty, and the desire to have a family, which was strongly condemned by Elizabeth.
But I think, happiness is a relative concept, not everyone has the ability to pursue love. European women in the eighteenth century had almost no possibility of financial independence, and a large number of adult women from upper-class families had only three prospects: first, to get married; second, to be an old maid; third, to become elementary school teachers or governesses. And Charlotte has no rich dowry, no beauty, and she is over twenty-seven years old. If she misses Collins, she may be an old maid for life, and she has no financial resources.
Marriage is actually a union of a man and a woman out of certain needs, whether it is love, family, money, or even just sex, as long as the other party can meet your needs, it may be happy.
Charlotte is very clear about what she needs. Her choice is not to worship money, but she knows where her happiness lies. Their marriage can be said to be a kind of equivalent exchange of what they need. Maybe she also longed for love, but she knows her own reality better. For her, marriage is the only way to survive, more urgent than love.
Compared with Elizabeth's persistence in love, Charlotte's courageous choices in her life are equally admirable. There is no doubt that she has the innate ability to make herself happy.
In reality, there may be a large part of marriages similar to the Collins couple, or because they want a home because they are old, they may not be able to bear the forced marriage of their parents, or they just want someone to do laundry, cook and have children. Any choice, as long as it is made by oneself, is worthy of respect.
People are responsible for the choices they make, no matter what the consequences of that choice are.
05
Just like I choose love, then, whether that person has or not, I have to wait, no matter what the price is, because only there can be my happiness.
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