After all, I can't expect to meet a person who is finally proposed to marry like the heroine in "Bridesmaids", and then help with all the wedding planning, busy being a bridesmaid, and kill a "jealous" bridesmaid halfway. competitor. It is true that the eldest is not young, love, career, and finally friendship all have no good results. She is more miserable than me. Even as young as me, the more I look at it, the more depressed I am, and the more I sink into the bottomless frustration of life.
I have never doubted that we can usher in a prosperous period of blooming flowers and spring flowers, and I have never been sure that it will fall on my head, just like you can't be sure that just at that time, one of the birds in the sky It just happened to be convenient, and it just happened to be on top of your head, and it just fell smoothly on your forehead and you just didn't move at all. So, under the double attack and coercion of time and mediocrity, I felt an unspeakable depression and anxiety that I had nowhere to release. How many times I tried to use alcohol to numb or vent, but not only was it useless, but I accidentally drank too much and then unknowingly dropped a bunch of shameful things that made my intestines blue. .
So I secretly spit out all my thoughts and yelled at her at her best friend's bachelor party before her wedding Huhu for a while, not to mention that the central idea of this Parisian-style plan still plagiarized my idea, why can't I destroy it? ! Of course, it really can't! Friend, I'm sorry I screwed this up, but I'm sorry I'm not sorry at all. Even if you lose your face, do you still care about this bit of affection?
But as for me, I have to endure all the unwillingness, reluctance, impatience, unhappiness, injustice... Even my complaints are just a small grain of sand among all the people on the street, including me My thoughts, my life, my inescapable and beautiful aspirations. These are all blocked, and the damn thing is that they are blocked by myself. I am not willing to punish myself, so I have to escape and anesthetize myself in the fog.
I often think that this is the low point of life. Who knows that there are not only people outside the mountains but people outside the mountains, but they can also dig a well by prying the earth to the bottom. How can I express my "respect" in the abyss? How old-fashioned to cry and cry, it's not stupid to kill it on its own. I have never understood the helplessness and hysteria of Tom Hanks losing Wilson in "Desert Island Survival". That life-saving grass is the only hope for life, the only warmth in the desperate situation of the vast land, It is the only entrance to the way of life.
I can't find such a trustworthy attachment in the self-constructed wilderness. The days have no choice but to stumble and run in the black hole with no beginning, no end, no light, no water, no vitality... until the last breath . The sad thing is that I put all my 20 years into hell and overthrow it to no avail, so what am I?
The books I read, the knowledge I learned, the meals I ate, the words I wrote... all turned into ashes, then these senses of nothingness would not count. My existence is the greatest nothingness...
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