When the epidemic in South Korea was getting worse and worse, I was worried that South Korea might delay my studies because of the regulations banning the entry of Chinese people. Although many people discouraged me, I returned to South Korea alone. Today is the fourth night, and I replayed this movie that I watched half of the movie at home with my mother when the epidemic began, and this time I finished it. I started to cry, not knowing whether it was because of the plot of the movie or because of my situation, I kept crying for this wave after wave of unwarranted fear, loneliness and helplessness. This morning, I saw the notice of online classes starting from March 16 on the school's official account. I regret my reckless decision, and I am wondering whether to go back to China. My friends advised me to go back. My mother reminded me to make an appointment here with a doctor and to remember to extend my visa. The alarm on my mobile phone sounded again and again. More than 2,300 people have been diagnosed in South Korea, and there are six in Seoul alone. There were more than a dozen cases. A student from a friend's school next door was diagnosed. A boy from the international campus of our school was admitted to the hospital because of suspicion. I booked a flight ticket and decided to go home after seeing the doctor.
Then, again, I fell into hesitation. The hospital I made an appointment with sent me a confirmation message with a reminder that people who have entered China for less than 14 days should not go there, but my medicines are already in a hurry. I can't wait for 14 days. I don't know what to do. Well, if I go there, will I be received? Can I go to the airport for a flight if I have been in Korea for less than 14 days? The phone line of Korean Air has been busy on the South Korean side. My mother called from China and was told that they could not judge whether the form in a few days would allow me to board the plane. What about after landing? Will I be allowed to go home? Friends told me that so far locals can go home and quarantine, but I'm worried that the situation is getting worse and all people returning from South Korea will be sent to hotels. It's not that I can't accept the hotel quarantine, I'm just worried that my condition is getting worse and worse. After all, I chose to leave Korea because my anxiety symptoms have been aggravated, and I'm afraid that I will be aggravated. If I can go home and quarantine, will my family members be quarantined again because of mine, and will theirs be delayed from work because of me? Will they get sick because of me? I have no desire to survive, but I am afraid that I will bring this to others, especially my parents. I thought about this and looked at the air ticket that could only be refunded by one-third of the price. I was shaking all over, and I started to sweat again. My breathing became faster and faster. Take control of your emotions and your body. I shouldn't have come. If I wait a little longer and wait for the news of the online class, I don't have to be so tossed, waste money, and take such a big risk. But I had to come again, the only important thing in my life was going to school, and I was afraid of losing everything because of my unavoidable misstep, so I had to plan ahead, but I never miscalculated.
Forget it, don't think about it anymore, since the OK button has been pressed, let's execute it for sure. Go to the hospital once on time, and if you are not allowed to enter, go back to your country and try online to see if you can prescribe medicine. Pack a small suitcase with your carry-on luggage and go to the airport to try it out. You can board the plane and go home, and if you don’t allow it, go back to the small house in Korea. When I landed and allowed me to go home, I plunged into the steaming house of my parents, my mother, my grandmother, cats, dogs, and dogs. Get up tomorrow, wear a mask and go to the Internet cafe next door to see the online extension of the visa. If everything goes well, then proceed as planned. ———————————————
At night, when I spread the clothes in the washing machine on the drying rack, the familiar smell of the softener secretly stood in my hand. This is my exclusive memory when I was studying abroad alone. Like body wash and shampoo, deodorant and scented candles, boozy beef porridge and favorite takeaway pork chop rice in this tiny space. When I closed the computer, like every late night alone, I stepped into the soft quilt, thinking that tomorrow would be another school day where I would spend ten minutes putting on makeup and running for half an hour to find the classroom. I don’t know when the next time I walk into the campus. Will the cherry blossoms bloom at that time? Can I remember the face under the mask in the smell of disinfectant?
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