One day in May 2020, when I was in college, I decided to take two or three days to go to an unfamiliar place, so I started saving money. The way to save money was to squeeze out a thousand dollars for the monthly living expenses that my dad gave me. . I went to Chengdu alone and met the rapper I always wanted to see. It was night when I got off the high-speed train. I sat in the shuttle bus, looked at the neon lights, and imagined the light reflected in my pupils. I have never felt life for a moment. significance. Later, I planned to go to Beijing to watch the re-screening of Renyi's "Thunderstorm", but I had to give up because the tickets were sold out. So I never executed my plan again. This seems to be the pre-set ending. Life is always meaningless. Every day at three o’clock and one line, curled up on the narrow iron bed in the bedroom, taking the never-ending test, listening to different people’s different words, and then constantly asking stupid questions: “What is the meaning of life?” People long for the distance , because nature hates boredom. Daydreamer made me cry several times, the first time Ben Stiller jumped into a helicopter, the second time he skated on the vast roads of Iceland, the third time he saw the cover of the closed issue Moment. I see him decadent, bored, shrinking, humiliated, ridiculed, helpless and funny, mediocre and boring, I see his eyes mirroring my own And then I see him jumping out of a helicopter into the sea, fighting sharks, slipping Going to the volcano with a skateboard, being submerged in volcanic ash, climbing the Himalayas to see snow leopards, and playing football in the warm sun of Afghanistan, I suddenly remembered the "indifferent" Meursault in Camus' "The Outsider" that I watched in my sophomore year. I think of the death of Akutagawa Ryunosuke, of Eliot's "The Wasteland", and of Shi Tiesheng's "Broken Pen in the Sickness Gap" that I read in the evening self-study in my third year of high school. It turns out that the search for the meaning of life originally means the meaningless It is the incompetence of the weakest, the contempt of the great because beautiful things never seek attention, and my life, all the time, shines.
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