Original: You are envious of "other people's children", but your children are envious of "other people's fathers"?
There is a word that is very popular in contemporary society: bear child .
It refers to such a group of creatures: making a lot of noise in public places such as subways and restaurants, urinating in elevators to cause malfunctions, wanton sabotage when visiting other people's houses, or beating people if they disagree, etc. etc.
Bears always have their own bears.
And our society also hates bear children: "He is still a child, don't let him go."
But we all know that children are not born with bears, and there must be bear parents behind every bear child . Furthermore, bear parents are often not born bears, and their various defects must find their roots in their childhood family education.
Family education is so important, it can't help but make people feel a heavy sense of responsibility and anxiety. Many young people born in the 1980s and 1990s probably have this idea: they lack confidence in the parents who will become children in the future. Because I know that I am not perfect, I am worried that I will not be able to play a good role model and raise a new generation of "bear children".
To Kill a Mockingbird is a book that restores confidence.
The novel reflects the social reality of the United States in the 1930s from the perspective of a little girl. The biggest highlight in the book is the girl's father, Atticus, who raises two children alone. Almost every word and deed can be used as how to educate A realistic guide for kids .
More importantly, he not only guided the children to grow up in words, but also explained to the children what bravery, justice and conscience are with his own character.
In a small town called Maycomb in the southern United States, there lives an ordinary family of three: father Atticus, ten-year-old son Jem and six-year-old daughter Scooter.
What was unusual about the family was that there was no mother - Atticus's wife died when her daughter was two years old, and the two children were raised by the father.
Atticus is a lawyer with a busy job, and Calpurnia, the family's black maid, looks after the children while he's at work. In addition to taking care of the children, Calpurnia also has a lot of family chores to be busy with, so most of the day, the two children spend most of the day running and playing in the town.
With an early death of their mother and a busy father, Jem and Scooter have the potential to become bear children. They are also very naughty, often crazy like two wild monkeys.
One time when the two of them were playing with tires, Jem shoved Scooter into the tire rim and deliberately rolled down a high slope, causing Scooter to lose his head.
Another time at school, Scooter was punished by the teacher for a little boy, and after class, he jumped up and beat the little boy.
The craziest of the two children was their interest in the oddballs from the nearby Radleys. The weirdo is Mr. Radley's son. He hasn't stepped out of the house for 15 years because of mental problems. In order to peep at the weirdo, they ignored Atticus's repeated warnings and sneaked into the yard of the Radley's house late at night. They were almost pulled by the old man. Deli was shot as a thief with a shotgun.
It is simply a deduction of what is called "if you don't skin it, you will die".
If it is an ordinary parent, it will definitely be furious, and the short-tempered may directly "mixed doubles". However, Atticus is well aware that children are naturally lively and have a strong curiosity about things. Parents can't help but beat and scold them, nor should they kill their nature, but should guide them correctly.
He has three principles for educating children, which are worth learning and learning from all parents. First, do not hit children. Although they often made his teeth tickled, he knew that there were many ways to educate children, and corporal punishment was the most inappropriate. Corporal punishment hurts children's self-esteem and is not conducive to the development of their healthy personality.
Second, respect children and listen carefully to their ideas. Atticus never perfunctory children because they are too young. Scooter was punished by the teacher to stand on the first day of school, so he did not want to go to school. Atticus listened carefully to her reasoning, and the two negotiated a compromise solution: She agreed to go to school, and he read with her every night.
Third, never shy away from children's problems. Scooter had heard some gossip at school and came back to ask Uncle Jack what "rape" was. Embarrassed, Jack quickly changed the subject, leaving Scooter very puzzled. After learning about it, Atticus said to Jack that as elders, we cannot avoid the children's questions, which will only deepen their confusion and even lead to their misunderstandings . So when Scooter asked Atticus again what rape was, he answered her seriously: Rape is the involuntary sexual intercourse of a woman under violent coercion.
Very lawyer's answer. But it is also very reasonable, and it is worth thinking about by parents.
Many parents may feel that their children are too young to know some things, but this is actually just wishful thinking. As Atticus puts it:
"If you can, I hope you don't touch the ugliness of this world for the rest of your life. But I know it's impossible, so I'll teach you how to face it."
"To Kill a Mockingbird" is set in the American South in the 1930s, and despite the abolition of slavery in the United States as early as 1865, black people are still discriminated against in the South, and in Maycomb as well.
The main line of the story begins when Atticus takes on the case of defending black people. Black Tom Robinson was accused of beating and raping Ewell's daughter Mayella, and was brought to court by the elder Ewell.
In the South at the time, the rape of a white woman by a black man was a felony, and Tom faced the death penalty.
However, Atticus found through investigation that it turned out that Mayella was burdened by the family's reputation and was unable to marry. Tom was frightened and ran away. This scene was seen by old Ewell, beat his daughter to death, and lied that Tom beat and raped her.
And Mayella was ashamed for seducing black people afterwards, and insisted that Tom raped her and wanted to kill Tom.
The wickedness of the human heart is here.
Atticus is a lawyer with integrity, justice and conscience. In one scene in the book, when Jem starts learning to use a shotgun, Atticus tells him, "It doesn't matter how many blue jays you shoot, as long as you can, but remember, kill a robin. , is a crime. ”
Miss Maudie explained to Scooter the meaning of this sentence: "Because robins only sing for people to enjoy, they don't eat flowers and vegetables in people's yards, and they don't build nests in barns, what a bad thing. Neither."
You can't kill a robin is a vivid metaphor for Atticus, explaining to children what conscience and justice are. In Maycomb, whether it's the eccentric Radley, or the black Tom Robinson, it's a robin. One of them is not allowed by the mainstream society because of their mental problems and the other because of their skin color, but other than that, they are all upright and kind people who have never done anything bad.
When Jem and Scooter, who are not sensible, go to harass the eccentric Radley, Atticus speaks to them for the first time: "What Mr. Radley does is his own business. If he wants to get out of the house, he will Get out. If he wants to stay behind closed doors, he also has the right to stay inside and avoid kids who like to get to the bottom of things."
Similarly, when Tom was clearly innocent, but was framed because of his black identity, Atticus took the case resolutely and became Tom's defense attorney.
He is the one who is willing to protect the robin.
Jem and Scooter were ostracized and mocked at school for Atticus's defense of black people. Scooter asked him why you're doing this when everyone thinks you're wrong?
Atticus said: " I want to tell you that justice is not about following the crowd, but following your own conscience. I have always asked you to listen to me, and you are very obedient. But if you don't do this, then I will do it again. I don't have the face to be your father, let you listen to me."
He takes himself as an example for his children, and if he goes against his conscience, how can he be an example for them?
However, despite Atticus' good offices and arguing in court, the final verdict was decided by a white jury. Tom was eventually found guilty, and Atticus' fight failed.
When he walked down the court alone, all the black people in the audience stood up and paid him the highest respect. He is just an ordinary person, but he has done the best of an ordinary person for his justice and conscience.
As he said when teaching his son:
"Son, I want you to know what real bravery is, and not make the mistake of thinking that a man with a gun in his hand is brave. Bravery is knowing you're destined to lose before you even start, but going without hesitation. Do it and stick to it no matter what happens. ”
Atticus is so admirable that one cannot help but wonder, what kind of family can cultivate such a noble lawyer?
Atticus' childhood experiences are not mentioned in the book, but we can clearly see the transmission of this noble character from the growth trajectory of Jem and Scooter.
A good education at Atticus shaped them. Despite their mischief, the two children were kind and intelligent, and Scooter learned early on that good people are those who do their best with their own minds. After Jem entered adolescence, he began to learn to be a gentleman, love his sister, treat people politely, and understand that justice is what a noble person should uphold.
In the book's final scene, Sr. Ewell holds a grudge for Atticus' defense of Tom, and even tries to secretly kill two children. Jem bravely protected his sister, but his arm was twisted, and it was the strange Radley who stayed at home who finally rescued them.
Jem and Scooter also finally understand that they can only be understood from someone else's point of view, so anyone who looks weird should be treated with enough respect .
Under Atticus's words and deeds, they grew up step by step to look like their father.
The best education is by precept and example. In children, people can always see the shadow of their parents.
You know, the lawyer was once a child too.
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