Augustus Waters:
[on the phone]
I cannot stop thinking about this Goddamned book.
Hazel Grace Lancaster:
You're welcome.
Augustus Waters:
However, we do need closure, don't you think?
Hazel Grace Lancaster:
That is exactly what I was asking Van Houten for in my letters.
Augustus Waters:
But he never responded.
Hazel Grace Lancaster:
Nope.
Augustus Waters:
[inhales theatrically]
"Dear Mr. Waters. I write to thank you for your electronic correspondence. I am grateful to anyone that sets aside time to read my book."
Hazel Grace Lancaster:
[sits up excitedly]
Augustus?
Augustus Waters:
Yes?
Hazel Grace Lancaster:
What are you doing?
Augustus Waters:
I may have found Van Houten's assistant. E-mailed her.
Hazel Grace Lancaster:
Augustus!
Augustus Waters:
She may have forwarded that e-mail onto Van Houten. Shall I continue?
Hazel Grace Lancaster:
Oh my God, yeah, go go go!
Augustus Waters:
"I am particularly indebted to you, sir." Hazel Grace, he just called me "sir."
Hazel Grace Lancaster:
Augustus, keep reading! Keep reading!
Augustus Waters:
"... both for your kind words about "An Imperial Affliction" and for taking the time to tell me that the book, and here I quote you directly, 'meant a great deal' to you and your friend Hazel Grace'."
Hazel Grace Lancaster:
[screams excitedly]
You did not! No, you did not, you did not, you did not!
Augustus Waters:
Of course I did. "To answer your question: No, I have not written anything else, nor will I. I do not feel like continuing to share my thoughts with readers would benefit either them or me. However, thank you for your generous e-mail. Yours most sincerely, Peter Van Houten." So yeah, that just happened.
Hazel Grace Lancaster:
Oh my God!
Augustus Waters:
I've been trying to tell you, I'm kind of awesome.