I remember that when I was in college, for some reason, I became very depressed. I often thought about death, nothingness, and being forgotten, as if I had never lived in this world. During that time, my body was as weak as me, I often caught colds, and I was sick all day. Due to my personality, I didn't have many friends I could really talk to, so most of my time was reserved for my friends. Getting along with myself: I wear a woolen trench coat at night, carry a bag, and have earphones in my ears. I really feel that this noisy campus has nothing to do with me, whether it is the noise of playing games in the dormitory, or passing by. A couple. I don't envy them, but I don't enjoy myself like that either. The darkness enveloped me, the cold wind was blowing, I wanted to tuck my head into my turtleneck sweater, I wandered outside the dormitory, like a lonely sick dog, unable to find the home I wanted . It's so quiet, in my spiritual world, if the desolation can make a person feel scared, but I even appreciate this kind of morbid beauty, it seems like I have always been in the same state, sitting in silence is also enjoying life. The most unfair thing about death is that it doesn't even let me enjoy the feeling of being alone. Even after death, apart from this feeling, everything else is the same. Death is an unavoidable end point, or life is actually a small miracle of us who should be in the eternal state of dust in the universe. Nothing can be owned forever, so its meaning can only be that it once existed. Now, the splendor of life is once there, waiting for the chewing in the future, waiting for the old age, the dying moment, the final experience.
about love
The great thing about a movie is that it tells a story, and the story is basically a jigsaw puzzle of life with many dramatic elements. When the behind-the-scenes photography, music, lines, etc. are presented together in front of the audience, it will try to say to you: hey, this can exist. Yes, this story can indeed exist, but most of it will not exist on me, or most people like me. I actually can't stand being alone because it often makes me worse, makes me depressed, and makes me jealous of the lucky ones who are loved. But this is life. What everyone thinks about is more turning and more exciting. The wonderful is created by oneself, right? Blindly complaining will only be self-pity, until the end of loneliness, you can't sit back and watch, you have to stand up, act, seek, discover, love, or it is a kind of running-in. Love, a peculiar thing in life, it should be a pity not to have it, because its meaning is to have it.
Pain lies in being able to feel it, and the meaning of life lies in this.
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