Eason Chan sang in "Diary of a Madman", I hope I will not make mistakes when I grow up, I hope my hope is not too much. I always think of my own desires from childhood to adulthood, strong and short, shallow and scarred, crying and laughing, in my heart and singing, about her and about the future. I hope my parents and those who are kind to me will always be happy and healthy, even if it costs me everything. To tell you the truth, this is the wish I make every time I blow out the birthday candles. The old wish hasn't happened yet, and nothing new can be thought of that is more worthwhile, the doctor said.
I want to distribute the keys to the room with the computer when my mother is not paying attention, I want to secretly buy a pack of little raccoon noodles with pocket money to collect the dinosaur cards in it, and I want to share an old copy with the girls at the same table. "The King of Fairy Tales", I want to find the "Sci-Fi World" hidden behind the washing machine by adults in a house with three bedrooms and one living room, I want to play football, I want to follow the girl and take a detour home, I want to end the New Year's Eve I still want to hand over the New Year’s money, I want to find my brother to beat the boy who sees me upset, I want to go to an Internet cafe, I want to cover up the bulging “yellow books” and “Waste City” hidden under the quilt, and I want to give “Sprouting” I want to submit a manuscript, I want to make a good-looking girl as a pen pal, I want to get into a good university so that my parents won’t nag, I want to write the same article as Su Tong, I want to travel and become experienced, I want to join various clubs , The roommate who wants to win DOTA is looking for teeth, wants to go abroad for postgraduate entrance examination, wants to have a good job, wants to have a good daughter-in-law, and wants to not lose to this reality.
These aspirations may not be ideal at all, but they frame my monotonous and slightly deformed upbringing. They emerge and burst like bubbles, and their envy and imitation of others constitute their raison d'être and then disillusionment. From the beginning of not liking myself like others, to not liking myself being different from others. Life is a vibrator that smoothes your edges and gives you an orgasm.
My orgasm is made of these desires, and my ideals, after being smoothed out, throw a pile of powder on the ground. The head teacher of the junior high school always proudly claimed to smooth our edges and corners, and our parents always said that you can do whatever you want. It’s the same when you study literature and theory. You can decide whether to study journalism or communication. So in the end, I can only proudly declare that I am an idiot, in order to hope that I will not be so embarrassed when others call me an idiot.
"We were told from the moment we were born that life is a race. If we don't run fast, we will be devastated. Even if we are born, we have to race against 300 million sperm." In the parent-teacher meeting, he raced against the neighbor's Xiao Li X. When the dream and reality were entangled and disturbed, he was criticized by a great god like Lancher and couldn't retaliate. He was devastated in the GRE and the college entrance examination. In "Old Boy", he was a cheap sensation. There was no resistance in front of him. What really ravages us is what was originally called a wish, but was later sublimated into an ideal.
I said, I have ideals, and my ideal is to make money, make my parents happy, support my family, and not let those who love me suffer. This is something I think about every day, but unfortunately, it's not ideal. It's a pity that I have no ideals.
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