Yesterday I was dragged out by our instructor to see an exhibition of new media art. During the afternoon lecture, I finally had the opportunity to stand up and bombard me with two questions. In fact, I was a little proud, but the excitement was also Unable to pass, the classmate sitting next to me said, you said too long, I don't even know what you said.
When I came back and talked to my mother, my mother said, that means he doesn't read as many books as you do. I was comforted, but on the other hand, I was more sad, I said, they don't think so.
Today, the whole English paper has been excerpted from the Internet, and more than 700 words have been extracted, and I just typed it by hand.
Then I threw it to my classmates and browsed the movie reviews of bomb disposal experts on the Internet.
Then I think about how I would feel when I watched this film ten years ago, and five years ago when I watched this film.
In a political class not long ago, a man as rigid and stubborn as my dad was still insisting on calling Guo Moruo, talking about the dispute between him and a young teacher, saying that Guo Moruo divorced his wife and son during the Anti-Japanese War, and returned to the school. In the plays written in China, you can’t let you talk about that contribution casually in class, but I don’t take it seriously. A person’s fault is a merit, especially why you can’t accuse him of saying that he used to be a good person?
On the other hand, from my own woman's point of view, I am very disdainful of this self-proclaimed hero, but actually very irresponsible to the family, and openly proud of being irresponsible and not ashamed of it.
And this bomb disposal expert has actually done the same thing. Most people judge this character from this standpoint, a dazed hero, a female director who is not used to digging deep, but is used to staying on the technical side.
Of course, I have also learned a little about the documentary from our supervisor. My own feeling is that this is a way for the director to explain without investing in his own aesthetic judgment.
However, I don't want to make a technical discussion here, but I want to talk about it from my own point of view, a bomb disposal expert I think I can understand.
2009 has passed, and it has been two years since I left my job. People always want to know if I can break free from a certain fate. I am an autistic person. This autism is contradictory. I long for someone to care about me and love me. For the people I care about, I have become more and more demanding of them, and I can't make them stay with me all the time and stick to my heart. But there can be no such person.
At that time, when writing articles, you must read the post back, and post back.
There are quite a lot of women, my female friends told me that they love me for a lifetime, but I was not moved at all, and sometimes even felt that I was hiding my sneer, because those women were lying beside other men, casually. Promised, of course, worse than some men, and they wouldn't spend a dime on me to show their love. When I write this, I actually laugh at my worldliness. Although I have always supported the mistress, I still feel that love needs to be firm, even if it is between the same sex without sex. At the same time, I also quite believe that the expression of love is inseparable from the economic foundation.
Maybe because of this, this year has passed, and I have become more and more autistic. In the past, I always had a few good friends. Although the more I talked, the less I talked, but I still cared about them and loved them. In this year, But I don't seem to be in the mood to chat with them anymore. I've never felt this pain before. Sometimes, I really don't even have the desire to post back.
I'm really becoming a zombie more and more.
The man in this movie, wearing a protective suit, is not so much a bomb disposal expert, but is actually just a robot.
He is also in a place of estrangement. Most people can only communicate with simple words. There are children who understand English, just like Huang Benjie and I. The love we give to each other is not communicated. , I can only record his words, but he ignores every word I say; there are also shots of him breaking into someone's house by mistake, and the adult can speak English, and he also lost his voice for a moment, yes, he can't When explaining why he came, where he came from, and what he wanted to do when he came, he turned around and wanted to leave. A woman who could not communicate verbally screamed and refused to communicate.
He wanted to make a phone call to someone in another country, but still didn't know what to say. As the sun goes down, silence and dark night again obscured speech, not only text but also image language.
In fact, I haven't experienced any wars, but my heart finally doesn't know what to say after going through such a long tunnel.
Xiaobai said, can you continue to write?
Back then, I had something to say and I wanted someone to listen to, but now, I don't want anyone to say anything.
They are still living their lives, walking the dog, or going to the other side of the sea, of course I also know that my life is not static, I will continue to read, continue to progress as they say, and then one day, Maybe die so quietly and finally lie down quietly.
Of course, I am different from the bomb disposal expert. He is in war, and I am in no war, but in fact we are very similar.
We don't know why we are alive and what else we can do, so we have to do one thing we can do right now. In this bomb disposal team, this expert actually has a three-person team of his own, a timid child soldier, and a regular black man. They have also lived together through thick and thin, but those days of happiness and communication are very short-lived. Through life and death, even if people have the same language, sometimes they have to use it to curse, the timid child soldier has a broken leg and can't stand up again, the expert said sorry, I think he is doubting himself Meaning to others, just like me.
Of course some people will say, why do you even think about what you mean to others?
I think everyone has thought about it, but some people think about it, and some people are just like me, but they are just on the point.
I have no way to come to a conclusion about what I will be in the future. I am a loose person. One day I felt that I should have a little passion, so I became passionate. One day I felt that a person should have a goal and a career. Heart, I should make some so-called contribution before I die, so I struggled for a while.
Then, I was still confused, whether I was an elite or not, I didn't know what the meaning of life and struggle was.
For a few days, I also felt that if I had a family and a child, I would be very happy without a career. But it was only a few days.
In fact, people have no right to choose. Regarding family happiness, career and love, you can struggle, but you don't have the certainty.
People are creatures of habit, so people always slowly become robots.
Then it goes to death.
Human beings are so afraid of death and have added so much protection to themselves, but it may be just a lie to deceive themselves. Death will eventually penetrate, and maybe we will no longer miss any piece of the blue sky before death.
I think that's how I should be, and I'm going to die. Maybe the same goes for the bomb disposal expert, who feels he has nothing to do, influence politicians, influence others? Or flirting with family members?
Heck, I find it's ok for me to be totally grey, and I have such a mockery of love.
Now I have nothing to think about, except death, I really don't know what to respect, only it is the most real.
Human beings are developing, reflecting, thinking about all of our experiences.
Thousands of years of Western philosophy finally came to the conclusion that human beings will eventually die.
Anti-war?
Personal heroism?
Those are really old-fashioned, not the thoughts of a thoughtful director.
A real director is always concerned with the living conditions of human nature.
How many people on the planet are really happy? Or how many people really cherish happiness?
Maybe it's just too little happy communication...
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