Italian Journalist:
How are you feeling, Niki?
Niki Lauda:
Fine.
American Journalist:
Niki, can you confirm to us exactly which procedures you've had and the expectations for your recovery?
Niki Lauda:
Sure. I had a skin graft operation, where they put half my right thigh in my face. Now it doesn't look too good, but one unexpected advantage is it's impossible to perspire through a skin graft, so sweat will never run into my eyes again, which is good for a driver.
[laughter from the journalists]
Spanish Journalist:
[Raises hand]
When they heard about your condition, Ferrari immediately hired a replacement driver, Carlos Reutemann.
Niki Lauda:
Yeah. Before even reaching the hospital.
German Journalist:
Is Reutemann driving today, too?
Niki Lauda:
Yes, and keen to make an impression. So let's see where Mr. Reutemann finishes and where I finish today.
American Journalist:
James Hunt and McLaren have caught up a lot while you were away.
Niki Lauda:
Yes. So is there a question now, or are you just trying to piss me off?
[laughter from the journalists]
German Journalist:
Do you still think you can win?
Niki Lauda:
Yes, of course. I have the better car. And possibly I'm the better driver. But he's a clever guy, and he's used his time well while I was lying half-dead in hospital... to win some points.
British Journalish:
And what did your wife say when she saw your face?
[Lauda pauses]
Niki Lauda:
She said, 'Sweetie, you don't need a face to drive. You just need a right foot.'
[laughter from the journalists]
British Journalish:
I'm being serious. Do you really think your marriage can survive with the way you look now?
Niki Lauda:
And I'm being serious, too.
[Points at British journalist]
Niki Lauda:
Fuck you. Press conference over.
[Lauda gets up angrily and storms his way out of the press conference]
