The Big Bang Theory

Scotty: No! I'm not signing anything! Now get these bloody things off my ship!

[sees Kirk]

Scotty: Captain!

James T. Kirk: Is there a problem, Mr. Scott?

Scotty: Aye, sir! I was just explaining to this gentlemen that I cannae authorize any weapons on board this ship without knowing what's inside them!

Spock: Mr. Scott raises yet another point that le...

James T. Kirk: Report to the bridge.

Spock: Captain.

[leaves the engineering room]

James T. Kirk: Mr. Scott, I understand your concerns but we need these torpedoes on board!

Scotty: Due respect, sir, but photo torpedoes run on fuel, now I cannae detect the type of fuel that's in the compartments on these torpedoes because it's shielded. Now I asked for the specifications but he says...

[gestures to Torpedo Security]

Torpedo Security: It's classified.

Scotty: [repeating exasperatedly] It's classified. So I said; no specs, no signature!

Sulu: [from deck above] Captain, flight checks complete, we're good to go, sir.

James T. Kirk: Thank you, Mr. Sulu.

Sulu: Yes, sir.

Scotty: Now if you'll excuse me, sir, I have a warp core to prime.

[walks away]

Scotty: [to Keenser] Get down!

Bones: Jim, your vitals are way off...

James T. Kirk: Report to the medbay.

[follows Scotty to the warp core]

James T. Kirk: Scotty! I need you to approve those weapons.

Scotty: [gesturing to the warp core] Do you know what this is, Captain?

James T. Kirk: I don't have time for a lecture, Scotty!

Scotty: [more forcefully] Do you know what this is?

James T. Kirk: [sighs] It's a warp core.

Scotty: It's a radioactive catastrophe waiting to happen. A subtle shift in magnetic output from, say, firing one or more of six dozen torpedoes with an unknown payload could set of a chain reaction which would kill every living thing on this ship, letting these torpedoes on the Enterprise is the last straw!

James T. Kirk: What was the first straw?

Scotty: What was the...

[scoffs]

Scotty: -there are plenty of straws, how about Starfleet confiscating my transwarp equation, and now some madman is using it to hop across the galaxy! Where'd you think he got it from!

James T. Kirk: We have our orders, Scotty.

Scotty: That's what scares me... this is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are now? Cause I thought we were explorers. I thought we...

James T. Kirk: Sign for the torpedoes. That's an order.

Scotty: Right. Well you leave me no choice but to resign my duties.

James T. Kirk: Oh come on, Scotty.

Scotty: You're giving me no choice, sir!

James T. Kirk: You're not giving me much of a choice!

Scotty: I will not stand by and...

James T. Kirk: You're just making exceptions, sign for the...

Scotty: [forcefully] Do you accept my resignation or not?

James T. Kirk: I DO!... I do. You are relieved Mr. Scott.

Scotty: [after a long pause] Jim... for the love of God, do not use those torpedoes.

[hands Kirk his PADD and walks away, Keenser does the same]