When I saw this movie, I just felt that it resonated and had a similar experience. And it wasn't until I watched it again a while ago that I realized how deeply the details of this movie were tied to me, as if it all happened to me.
The desire and fear of friends, and the fascination with books, I have always felt that our desire for books is different. Sometimes I read books to save myself. To survive. However, it does not necessarily start to improve after having friends. The most painful feelings are often brought or triggered by friends and relatives around. The male protagonist was completely ignored by his friends because he did something wrong in the back. It was indeed his fault, but why did he make a mistake? He doesn't want others to be hurt, so does his confession, and he insists on not breaking up, but he can't avoid it in his heart, especially when two people are not suitable at all.
It was actually subconscious to do that kind of behavior, but it became the first clue that he fell ill again, since he didn't have that memory after helping a friend fight. I didn't understand it when I saw it a few years ago, and I understand now just because I've been through it. If you do something that hurts you unconsciously, you won't feel pain in that state.
Even though the male protagonist reconciled with his friends, they were leaving, and his illness continued to deteriorate. The final fuse was when the male protagonist was kissed by the male protagonist's thigh, because it reminded him of the worst memory at the time. Humans are animals that seek benefits and avoid harm. When we can’t bear the pain, we tend to fragment or delete that memory directly, but doing so does not mean it doesn’t exist anymore. Once the stimulus is triggered in the future, the victim will suffer The pain to be endured will be unimaginable.
Because ordinary people cannot understand people with psychological trauma, not to mention, the male protagonist thinks that he has killed people. Their family believed in Christianity, and he had to make atonement.
Ordinary people are even less able to understand depressed patients, because the thoughts and perceptions in a depressed state are completely different from ordinary people. But one thing is absolute, they are always kind, and the final trigger for serious illness is often a cruel word from a family member or a patient's guilt and self-blame after causing harm to those around them.
All patients with mental disorders have a desire to survive. Don't believe that a depressed patient will never realize that they have depression. Before a person dies, he always wants to talk and ask for help. If there is no one around him to lend a helping hand, some not only do not lend a helping hand but push him, if there is no one around him to talk to. He might be gone.
I am especially cruel to people who are behind the scenes. I often see some people say guilty words after others die, and what they say is sorry, I feel very disgusting, just like the disgusting words that a girl used to post on Qiao Renliang's Weibo insults him, and then begins to sympathize with regret when the person dies.
I am a person who believes in cause and effect, and I don’t know if these people will have bad retribution in the future. But it doesn't matter, at least I must make it clear that I want to be a good person.
The eternity at the end of the movie is something I felt after the catastrophe. Many things cannot be described in words, but can only be felt with the heart.
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