The last time I saw a moving movie was last year's out of reach.
I was busy in the middle, and I took time to watch some foam pieces just for entertainment.
Watching "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", all my emotions are affected, it's not too sad, there is so little sadness and powerlessness, but I can always see the light, as if I'm in that tunnel, I know it's going out, I'll go. It's brightly lit.
The confusion of adolescence, the grief that cannot be resisted, the pain that cannot be explained, the tears that cannot be controlled.
It is someone who has experienced it, who can read in Charlie's eyes the courage required for every step of participation.
The more you grow up, the more you realize that many people in this world have
grown up differently. They have the intrusion of love, and in that kind of tenderness they nourish a heart that is not afraid of darkness. It was as if the sun was focusing on them.
Talk to a lot of people and ask this question:
"Have you ever been desperate?"
Some people do, some people don't.
At our age, some people scoff at the word despair as an overused rhetoric for infatuation.
And those who have really experienced it, I think, are just smiling indifferently.
In fact, life is so long, and a person may always have a time of despair, not yesterday, not today, or one day in the future.
And despair is not a big word that is too scary. What is scary is that you can't escape the preset tragedy brought about by that sense of despair:
as if you feel that from the beginning, your whole life is doomed to fall apart. Chess is destined to pass by with the one you love, and it is destined that happiness is always blocked by yourself. From a distance, you keep doubting yourself, looking at yourself, occasionally approaching and retreating immediately. It seems that, in the whole life, whether or not there have been gorgeous moments, the standard line of the entire score is always the last string from the top to the bottom of the staff...
Sometimes when I get rid of it, it seems that everything is going to be beautiful. However, they are often beaten back to their original shape on the way...
There are always some explanations in my heart, but I still can't explain why, about my pain, your pain, and her or his pain.
It seems that he cannot save himself, let alone save others. As if being strangled by the hand of fate, there are occasional moments of relaxation, and he is trying his best to catch the moment when Lord Destiny's hand is released.
worked so hard. So desperate. Desperately trying to forget the sadness, and desperately trying to resist the sadness. However, this gesture itself is a kind of sadness. It's exhausting.
The harder you hold on to it, the more it seems to prove that you don't have it.
However, if you don't hold it tightly, you will feel even more helplessly watching the transparent air shield door beside you bulge again, isolating everything.
These emotions cannot be explained clearly.
And gradually, as the pace of life is getting faster and faster, you seem to gradually forget these emotions and fill your day with all kinds of trivial things. However, perhaps, it is not that he has forgotten, but that he has been integrated with these emotions for a long time, and it is difficult to distinguish.
Until one day, what you did, one after another, made you feel a little better that you could grasp something.
It makes you feel a little bit more powerful.
Let you feel a little, life is not so unprovoked, as if most things are traceable.
So, you start walking in the sun, forgetting everything for a while, just in this warm tone, feel the tentacles of the sun caressing your face, so warm. Even if it's just for a moment, you feel content, and this is how life should be at this moment.
So you start trying to slowly trust some things, even when they are occasionally capricious. You also try to tell yourself, wait a little longer, wait a little longer, and they will tell you an answer, and even if those answers are not immediately acceptable to you, they don't seem so scary anymore.
So, you also began to learn to slowly accept some unreasonable things about yourself, you began to forgive yourself, and you began to occasionally put down the demanding ruler that was forged by the one who hid in the deepest part of your heart and was obsessed with spiritual cleanliness. Just draw a scale on the wall of time, and then give yourself more time to look at the line above your head and grow step by step.
So, when you forgive a little for your own irrationality, you also start to be less demanding of others, start to think about understanding their hearts, start to feel deeply sad for their tears, start to believe that your perception is not It is you who realizes alone that everyone in this world, at other times, can only be deeper than you, but not shallower.
Then, you gradually get out of such a vicious circle about preset tragedy. You gradually understand that your life is not actually a tragedy, of course, at the same time, you also gradually see clearly that your life, under the sun, does not appear to be much fresher than others, even if there is only one you in the world .
You are just one of the tens of thousands of living beings. All the sorrows you have experienced have already been experienced by predecessors, and future generations will, as always, pass through this emotion and be baptized once.
Lucky people are slowly starting to understand the process, while some may still be in the dark.
Although lucky people may be beaten back to their original shape at any time,
but in this short period of time, the moment you escape from the iron house of tragedy,
you will have the opportunity to see the spring flowers bloom, the stars and rivers are bright, and the fallen flowers are colorful. , see the stream gurgling.
In that instant, you will be moved. Just like the three of them in the movie, driving a pickup truck through the tunnel, letting the wind blow, passing through the brilliant lights in the sky, in that moment, I felt the surging breath of life and the opening The hand seems to have a home, facing the wind, it seems to blow away all the unbearable weight of life.
He said he felt infinite.
I think this is an escape.
So, just this time to escape, you will feel the destination and direction for the first time from the seemingly chaotic and disorderly life.
Then, with the yearning for this direction, even if you fall into the depths of darkness again and again, you will be able to walk silently, like a hero, all the way to the direction you aspire to, resolutely and firmly.
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