Text/The Grace of the Gods
At the beginning of 2019, the 91st Oscar for Best Actor was won by the little-known actor Rami Malek. Why did Malek get the Golden Man? In fact, he won the award this time, not only because of his superb acting skills but also because of the role he played.
In the biopic "Bohemian Rhapsody", Malek played the lead singer of the British band Queen and rock star Freddie Mercury. This character has its own celebrity effect, which adds a lot to Malek's performance. And this movie also brought the former rock star Freddy Mercury back into the public eye after half a century.
01: The Gorgeous Life of a Rock Star
Queen is one of the most famous rock bands in the world. In the 1980s, the lead singer, Freddie Mercury, was the soul of the band. He has been dubbed "Britain's first Asian rock star." Even years after his death, his name remains a regular on various prestigious lists.
In 2002, he was selected as one of the "100 Greatest Britons" selected by the BBC.
In 2006, he was selected as the "Most Influential Asian Hero in the Past 60 Years" by Time Magazine;
In 2005, he was selected as the greatest male singer in the history of American TV station MTV2;
In 2008, he was selected as one of the "100 Greatest Singers of All Time" by Rolling Stone Magazine.
Freddie is not only a great singer, but also an amazing musician. He wrote many inherited works for Queen, including "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "We Are the Champions."
So how did Freddy get into the music world? Freddie was born in Zanzibar, Tanzania in 1946. He grew up in India as a child and settled in the UK as an adult. Initially, Freddy was just an airport porter. By chance, he joined a resident band in a bar and became the lead singer. Soon, Freddy became the leader of the band with his extraordinary talent and unique charisma. At his strong request, the band changed its name from "Smile" to "Queen", and Freddy himself designed the band badge. Soon, the Queen was out of the UK and out into the world.
Queen is known for its glam rock style. And Freddy's stage style is even more unique. Some people summed up his style as: "coquettish walking, streamlined equipment (he often sings shirtless, or only wears shorts), confident expression, and that bright red scarf (he sometimes wears a little red scarf)."
In 1985, at the scene of "Live Aid", Freddy, with a big back, wearing a white vest and holding a microphone, sang the classic song "We Are the Champions" on the stage. The lyrics are:
I have paid the price.
again and again.
I served my sentence.
but no crime.
I made some serious mistakes.
I did it by myself.
But I got through.
I want to continue
My friends, we are champions.
We'll fight till the end.
We are the champions.
I bow down.
It will eventually come to an end.
You have brought me fame and fortune.
and everything that comes with it.
I thank you.
This song is Freddie's life monologue. There is pain, struggle, and gratitude in the song. "I don't care how long I live," said Freddy, who died of AIDS in 1991 at the age of 45.
British author Leslie-Ann Jones has written a biography of Freddie. The British authoritative media "Daily Telegraph" recommended the book, saying, "Freddy Mercury lived a grand, avant-garde, and colorful life."
02: The appearance is wild and uninhibited, but the inner loneliness and despair cannot be concealed.
The movie "Bohemian Rhapsody" basically restored Freddy's legendary life. There are two clips in the film that really impressed me.
Fragment 1: Pulling the light in the middle of the night
After Freddy confessed to Mary about his sexuality, the two broke up peacefully. Later, Mary moved to live upstairs on the opposite side. They don't see each other often, but they can still see each other through their windows.
One night, a bored Freddy called Mary and begged her to watch him by the window, and Mary did. The two looked at each other and turned on the lamp and turned it off, as if they were sending a password from a distance. Mary moved away shortly after. Late one night, Freddy came to the room again, staring at the black window diagonally opposite, turning the lights on and off by himself. This time, no one responded to him again, and a huge sense of loneliness almost engulfed him.
Since Mary moved away, Freddy's emotional life has become more and more depraved, which also paved the way for him to develop AIDS in the future.
Fragment 2, "Complaining to each other in the rain
Late one night, in the pouring rain, Mary suddenly came to Freddy's house. She said she dreamed something happened to Freddy, so she rushed over to see him.
When Mary was about to leave, Freddy chased after him. In the heavy rain, the two had a long conversation. At this time, Freddy discovered that his agent and boyfriend, Paul, had been taking advantage of him. He was angry and sad, like a helpless child, letting the tears slowly fall.
At this moment, Mary stared into Freddy's eyes and said, "No matter what, there are many people who love you; me, Brian (band member), Deacon (band member), Roger (band member), we all love you."
These two episodes touched me deeply. At this time, Freddy is no longer the dazzling rock star on the stage, but a sensitive, vulnerable, and helpless person. Mary is Freddy's lifelong best friend and the person who knows him best in the world. They were lovers at first, but after they separated, they established a relationship that was better than family. So, Freddy trusts and relies on Mary very much. When Mary left in a taxi, he was completely desperate. Since then, he has gone on the road of indulgence without turning back, and his heart has died little by little.
03: Do your best to sing, just to become "the person you want to be."
There is a double contrast in Freddy. The first contrast is that he is domineering and coquettish on stage but shy and introverted in life. Even he himself said: "When I'm performing, I'm very outgoing, but inside I'm actually a completely different person." The second contrast is that he has a strong appearance and a mustache, but he doesn't like beautiful women. I adore you two handsome men.
So, who is the real Freddy, on stage or off stage? Maybe both, maybe not.
The sharp contrast in Freddy's stems from his disapproval of his own identity. And this disapproval is related to his early experience.
Freddie lived the first half of his life through a turbulent life. He was born in Zanzibar, Tanzania, grew up in India, and later settled in the United Kingdom with his parents; his wandering and turbulent childhood left him feeling very insecure.
A person's name is a symbol of the connection between a person and his family and a person's identification with the family of origin. As an adult, Freddy changed his name from Farouk to Freddy. The act of changing his name implies his disapproval of his family.
Freddy's family is a believer in Aoism, a religion popular in ancient Persia and Central Asia. Freddy, on the other hand, was dismissive of the Aojiao religion. In this family, he is like an outlier.
Neither in society nor in the family, Freddie could find a sense of belonging. Only when he composes and sings can he find a sense of belonging, and he was very confident at that time. In the music world, he is the real king.
Years after Freddie's death, Mary recalls that when she first met Freddy, "he was very confident, and I never had confidence." We got together, and I liked him. That's when it started. Mary "at that time" was when Freddie joined Queen.
In the film, when Queen first debuted, Freddie said affectionately, "What's it like to sing to so many people?" When I see them listening to me and being infected by my songs, I become what I've always been. The person I want to be. I have nothing to fear. " Freddy is desperate for public approval, which is the source of his confidence and his way of saving himself.
Because of this, one of the biggest features of Queen is the positive interaction with fans. On the stage, Freddy sweated like rain, sexy and domineering; off the stage, thousands of audience members sang together under his leadership, and the singing resounded through the sky, which was extremely shocking. Not every band can do that kind of blood-sucking shock.
04: Worldly success does not bring true happiness.
The "Live Aid" concert at Wembley Stadium in 1985 was the highlight of Freddy's life. At the time, there were about 72,000 live audiences, and 1.5 billion viewers around the world watched the show on TV. In the decades since, it has been recognized as the greatest rock show of all time.
At the time, famed singer David Bowie, who shared the stage with Freddy, said: "Of all the rock singers who have achieved dramatic levels of performance, Freddy is way above everyone else; he's beyond the limits." A man who can hold the audience in the palm of his hand. "
However, worldly success failed to bring real joy to Freddy, and his private life became increasingly chaotic. There is such a scene in the film. After his former agent and ex-boyfriend Paul was swept out of the house, he soon broke the news to the TV station, saying that Freddy's private life was extremely rotten, and he had different sexual partners every night. One Queen fan online said he had read Freddy's biography and the level of promiscuity was staggering. In fact, the more depraved Freddy's life, the more intense the pain in his heart.
In the book "The Mind Wounds, The Body Knows", psychotherapist Louise Hay says: "Study after study shows that people gluttony, smoke, drink, and use other forms of escapism to mask anxiety, depression, anger, or feelings of inadequacy and avoid responsibilities that they cannot handle."
At this point, neither the applause nor the halo could save Freddie. He is so indulgent because he sees through the emptiness of life and is unwilling to face the cruelty of fate. He once said: "Love is the hardest thing to succeed in and the most disappointing thing."
For Freddy, the only family in the world is Mary. Facing the TV camera, he once said: "My lovers have asked why they can't replace Mary. It is very simple, it is impossible." Mary is my only friend. We believe in each other, and that's enough for me. "She and I have been through pretty much everything, and she's been there with me."
In his will, Freddy left the mansion, half of the estate, and the copyright to the songs to Mary, and ordered Mary to bury his ashes in an unknown place.
05. Self-alienation can destroy a person.
When listening to Freddy's songs, I am often moved by his sincere and powerful voice. Listen and listen. You will find that he really sings with his life, and there is a heart-piercing pain hidden in his singing. And this real feeling has great appeal to the audience.
Freddy's pain stems from a severe split in his heart. He doesn't like himself in reality, but he likes himself on stage. Yes, it is the self who is exaggerated, sexy, and singing.
Alain de Botton said: "Our "self" is like a deflated balloon that needs to be constantly filled with the love of others to keep its shape, and it cannot withstand even a needle-point stab wound." Freddy is scarred, but he is coquettish and domineering on stage. That's what he really wanted to live like.
Psychologically speaking, the huge contrast between Freddie on stage and offstage is a manifestation of self-distancing. What is self-distancing? Self-alienation, also known as self-disagreement, refers to the psychological state of a person who does not accept himself from the depths of his heart.
Self-psychology believes that self-formation is a long process, and it develops gradually in the contradiction that instinct is satisfied or not satisfied. Society, culture, interpersonal relationships, etc., will have an important impact on the formation of personality. In the process of self-formation, there will be many conflicts in people's hearts. If these conflicts remain unresolved, there will be no real liberation.
Therefore, after Freddy became famous, no matter how brilliant his career was, he could not hide the huge sense of emptiness in his heart. And this sense of emptiness stems from his disapproval of his true self. Thus, self-alienation, like an invisible yoke, firmly bound Freddy and suffocated him gradually.
06. Everyone has two "is". One is the true self and the other is the false self.
Seeing is true compassion, Li Xue said. Seeing not only means seeing others but also seeing yourself. Unfortunately, in life, some people never see their true self.
In psychology, there are two types of self: the "true self" and the "false self". The "false self" is a concept derived from the shadow of the personality. Jung believed that everyone has personality shadows such as selfishness, jealousy, greed, and so on. When a person deliberately avoids the shadow of personality, his true self and false self will conflict. When the contradiction between the two develops to extremes, the person will collapse.
Winnicott said that when a person is extremely insecure inside, a false self splinters. When one strives to please others, one hides and denies one's true self, leading to self-distancing. In this way, the false self is a threat to the true self.
After Freddie became famous, he became the center of attention, and his wild singing and seductive typhoon fascinated fans. However, fans may not know that their idols are gradually being swallowed by false selves. The loss of Mary and the betrayal by her ex-boyfriend left Freddy feeling lonely and hopeless. In order to escape his true self, he did not hesitate to sing every night. In the end, this kind of life also pushes him to the point of doom.
07. If you want to live out yourself, you must see yourself and accept yourself.
The film is named after "Bohemian Rhapsody", a song written by Freddy himself and one of Queen's masterpieces. According to the band's guitarist, Brian May, it reflects Freddie's attitude towards life. From the lyrics, we can clearly feel that behind Freddy's pain and struggle is his deep love and despair for the world.
This is real life.
It is still a fantasy.
In trouble
I can't avoid reality.
open one's eyes
I stare at the sky.
I'm a poor boy. I don't need any sympathy.
Because I always come when I say it, and go when I say it.
If I hadn't come back by this time tomorrow,
Let life go on as if nothing happened.
It's too late; my deadline is up.
Goodbye everyone. I have to go.
'Gonna leave you to face the truth.
I don't want to die.
Sometimes I even wish I had never come into this world.
Thunder and lightning make me tremble.
I just want to leave. I just want to get out of here right now.
Everything has become irrelevant to me.
Freddy spent his life reconciling with himself, but ultimately failed. This is the tragedy of his life. As ordinary people, how can we reconcile with ourselves and be our true selves?
Psychology believes that if a person wants to reconcile with himself and finally accept himself, he must do the following three things:
First, see and accept your dark side. People are often unwilling to accept themselves because they are unwilling to face their dark side.
Second, allow yourself to be imperfect. Everyone is imperfect. Only by seeing this clearly can we face ourselves calmly.
Third, bravely accept who you are and work hard to become a better version of yourself.
Unsatisfactory things in life, nine out of ten. In fact, the problem itself is not the problem, but how to look at the problem is the biggest problem. For people, knowing and changing themselves is a lifetime event. Only when we truly know ourselves can we truly liberate ourselves.
One day, when the true self and the false self smile at each other, shake hands and make peace, we will be able to become a real person.
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