I'm not quite sure whether I can properly express my feelings in this half-bucket of water. But today, at this very moment, something must be said.
After reading the short comment section, you will find that six or seven out of ten people will scold Summer and complain about Tom. The green tea bitch is playing with emotions.... Mark Webb's beginning also seems to be resentful, intentionally or unintentionally, which framed the subjective tone of the film first. The whole film is based on Tom's first-person perspective and third-person narration. In fact, it is quite clear to restore the complex changes of individual emotions in the relationship. Before the benches confessed and resolved the entanglement, what we saw was—Summer in Tom's eyes/Tom's understanding of love/Tom's unfair treatment/Tom's depression and unhappiness. Summer has only a few clips that allow viewers to peek into her inner emotions (talking about her dreams to Tom in bed/watching [graduate] cry hysterically), does anyone care? When their feelings for each other were still stable, when cracks gradually appeared, when they finally fell apart irretrievably. Both Tom and the audience just pay attention to their own feelings. In the end, let the most critical problems drown in the problems caused by the problems, and be beaten by the waves of quarrel and blame without direction.
Isn't this exactly the most common and most naughty fault we have in love? Selfishness.... What Tom sees, thinks, thinks is presented to the audience. With such a biased, one-way narrative acquires the same level of unwillingness and resentment. In a relationship, there are several people who will not be blinded by their own fantasies and suppress the urge to shape each other. In the end, Tom didn't enter Summer's heart after all. The Summer he likes, the Summer he doesn't want to give up is not all of Summer's self. The softest part of her heart was not something that Tom didn't want to touch, but that he didn't know what it was. This explains that Tom can only passively adapt to Summer's unclear and irresponsible love attitude. He was attracted by desire, and in order to perpetuate it, he lowered his stance and gave in verbally for no result. Essentially, he was looking forward to Summer's transformation, and his expectations kept him safe. And when expectations fail to materialize for a long time, the dissatisfaction suppressed by the previous concessions will erupt.
A relationship can start and extend with hobbies and common topics. But to reach the end, that is, the other side in the depths of the heart, requires understanding and dedication. Tom did the first half, he gave Summer the desire to open his heart, but he still lacked the most crucial touch. In a way, he made a wedding dress for someone else. Once Summer didn't believe in love, but after 500 days with Tom, she finally found what she needed. Tom is only happy to satisfy Summer, but then what? Feelings need to be grounded, and more simple and steady steps are needed, which is what it lacks. Feelings are not about being happy, really. Even if this is only needed at the beginning, the emotional needs of both parties are actually changing in stages. After differentiation, the out-of-sync, the one who perceives it will be very painful...
Summer is actually very nice, and her pursuit of pure comfort reflects her lack of warmth. She inspires Tom to want him to regain his dream of architectural design, recognizes and appreciates his talent, and doesn't want him to be wasted on greeting cards. I don't know how much she regretted seeing Tom's cowardice and weakness. I also roughly guessed that this might be one of the reasons why she was looking for someone else. Tom was just too unrealistic and too down-to-earth before.
So when it comes to love, never look at others from your own perspective. Although we advocate equality for everyone, it is an unequal thing after all. Going back to the film, Summer was the perfect choice for Tom, but Tom was not as good as Summer. If you like it, I will raise your Tom to a level, or pull it down if you can't. Don't say, I don't have any requirements for you, it's your own business! The same mentality, willing to pay, willing to give, and willing to give in is the best ideal state. But if there is a deviation on one side, it depends on whether the radish and the pit are filled. It's boring to stick with it, and there will be no good results. Never complain, never pin your hopes on the other person, there is no right or wrong, it is your choice. Save others by yourself, first see if you can do it yourself.
So the end of the movie couldn't have been more perfect. Why do you feel sad after breaking up? Because you have not let go, you are greedy for her goodness and lack reflection. Still entangled in her so good I can not bear! I'm so good, why is she doing this to me! Look, Tom has you in the audience! Isn't it still selfish to blame? ! Meaningless immersion is viral, it's just that life can't take care of itself. Thank each other for what they have given in the past, and be sure to let yourself be inspired and rewarded. in addition! Even if you fail, don't give up the courage to chase again. Because you don't know what's going to happen next.
Falling in love is really hard work.
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