Before the meal, we chatted about the current situation. The change in life was instantaneous, and it will be different in a short time. Lightly talked about his future life, even if there is more reluctance. Let all the heaviness in life become light and light, an understatement.
I don't know if he noticed or not, I was uncomfortable.
During the conversation, a hammer in the east and a mallet in the west.
But that's my style of speaking, no surprise, he must have seen it all. My thoughts diverged so much that I would worry about being embarrassed and cold when chatting with other people. As a result, it would seem far-fetched to make up the topic, but in front of him, I felt comfortable talking.
On the way back, they talked about the movies they had seen recently. The chat went on without a hitch.
But he didn't talk about the movie he just saw.
Just remembered.
Maybe it’s because of the wetness in my eyes when the subtitles are released at the end that I subconsciously want to write about the aftermath; maybe it’s because we don’t want to talk about the topic of fathers; maybe the parting one day in the future makes people defensive, so they can’t talk about other things.
Or to get back to the point, no matter what the resistance.
Let's talk about fathers.
For a moment, my mind went blank, and I didn't know where to start. It seemed that when I talked about this topic, it became heavy, and my shoulders involuntarily stiffened.
After reuniting with my parents and sister a few years ago, I wanted to write a movie essay called "Father in the Movie". Because the movies I saw on the departure and return trips were all magically related to my father.
The father-son relationship in "Big Fish", the son's identification with his father is the theme of the film; in "What a Beautiful Life", the male protagonist does not violate his father's will, picks up the burden of life, gives up his ideals, and never steps out of the town. Even though his biggest dream was to escape this town... all of which had a huge psychological impact on me, and that essay had only one name and no further text.
When the family was together during the Spring Festival, my father was so close, but I felt that there was a huge mountain in my heart.
I am on this side of the mountain, he is on the other side of the mountain.
When I was young, I always wanted to go to the other side of the mountain to see something, such as love.
But silence, silence, we are all used to silence.
Put on the headphones and enter the world that I am familiar with, the world of one person.
Apart from occasionally asking me a few things about life, my father sleeps, smokes, and briefly chats with others.
I didn't know what to say to express closeness, and I didn't want to appear deliberate, so I didn't say it. But watching my sister talk to her parents about her shortness of breath, she felt disdain and jealousy in her heart.
I can cry for my deceased father with my son in the movie, but I can't and don't want to pour out my thoughts and concerns for my father face to face.
Often when I was on the phone with my mother, she handed him the phone and said, "Your father has a word with you."
The atmosphere turned cold, and the awkward and indifferent voice on the phone was only two sentences.
We say, say what we don't want to say. We didn't say a word of what we really wanted to say.
The father in the movie said a lot, what he wanted to say, and what he didn't want to say. He kept chattering, like performing a talk show, or like a clown living in fantasy, and he had never acted in a play.
The first half of the movie is about the humble and interesting life of my father and the love of romantic adventures. It is full of fun all the time, intentionally or unintentionally, she is in love with his romantic, interesting and incredible.
He said she was the princess, and said 110,000 times that she was his princess. Sure enough, she climbed under the table without hesitation and kissed him.
He rode the refreshing white horse and took her away.
After a while, the son was that big.
Married life is not revealed at all, and the children grow up.
In fact, it is not difficult for us to find that she has cut off relations with her mother since then.
It was the first time I saw my grandmother in a bookstore when my son was so old.
What kind of life is left to the audience to imagine.
This blank is really high.
In the car away from home, my father started a journey of lying, and his superb acting skills lasted until the end.
But at the last moment of his life, in front of others, he showed his flaws.
In the second half of the movie, it is his wonderful acting skills, which are consummate. In the eyes of his son, it is a myth that no one can surpass.
The suffering in the concentration camp continued, but a father who was a comedian could not stop him. As long as his son was in front of him, he never played. When he was at the most dangerous time, he was resourceful and adaptable, contributing a lot of jokes, laughing at himself and entertaining others.
He gave his son a dream, as if he could see the day when the dream came true.
The moment my son's dream came true, he realized the greatness of his father. Although he didn't say I love you, hope is a good thing that affects his life. You and I have known it for a long time.
Lies are sometimes cuter than the truth.
Brigitte Lin has a line in "Evil in the East and Poison in the West", "If one day I can't help but ask, you must lie to me, even if you are reluctant in your heart, don't tell me that your favorite person is not me."
It's just that lies are like a dream, and one day you will wake up.
If this dream makes people feel hope and the beauty of life, more than despair and the ugliness of the world, why should it be broken. Like the inmates in the concentration camps in the movie.
What is not spoken is not necessarily love.
Love is speechless.
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