The life of a person like you is a cup. After 50 years, when you start to learn to think independently, you will understand two things. One: Don't pretend to be coercive, or you will be struck by lightning. Two: The education you bought with millions of dollars actually took an extra day to read the books borrowed from the public library, and you can get it by paying a fine of 1 yuan and 5 yuan.
The sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years you are gonna start doing some thinking on your own. You gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life, one: don't do that. And two: you dropped 150 grand on a fucking education you could have got for $1.5 in late charges at the public library.
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You are still a child. You don't really know what you're talking about. You haven't even been out of Boston. If I ask you what art is, you'll probably tell me what you've read from various related books. Michelangelo, you know this man, his life, his creations, his political ambitions, his friendship with the Pope, his sexuality, all his works, right? But you can't understand the smell of the air in the Sistine Chapel. I can't experience the feeling of standing in the church and looking up at the magnificent and magnificent ceiling.
You are just a kid. You have the faintest idea what you're talking about. You've never been out of Boston. If I asked you about art you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him, lives, work, political aspirations, him and the Pope, sexual orientation, the whole works right? I bet you can't tell me what it smells in the Sistine Chapel. You never actually stood there and looked up at the beautiful ceiling.
I ask you what a woman is, and you might give me a list of what kind of girl you like. You should have been pushed a few times too. But you don't know the feeling of waking up next to the one you love and happiness springing from the bottom of your heart.
I asked you about women. You'll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy .
You are a stubborn child. I ask you what war is, you should tell me about Shakespeare, right? "Break into battle, fight harder!" (Looks like a line from "Henry V"...) But you've never been in the field, you won't understand that you're in the arms of your best friend, who's lying on your lap, gasping for breath before he dies Depends on what kind of situation you wish you could save him.
You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me right? “once more into the breach dear friends.” But you've never been near one. You never held your best friend's head in your lap and watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help.
If I asked you what love is, you might quote a sonnet. But you don't understand what it's like when you look at the girl you love and treat her with tenderness and defense. Do not understand that the girl's eyes make you fascinated, as if she is an angel given to you by God to save you from doom. You also don't understand what it's like to protect her with all your heart, love her forever, go through ups and downs with her, go through cancer. You don't understand what it's like for two months in a row, guarding her in the hospital every night, holding her hand, sitting beside her and falling asleep, even the doctor is moved by this obsession and no longer drives you away.
If I ask you about love you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable, known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on Earth just for you , who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand because the doctors could see in your eyes that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you.
You don't understand what a real "loss" is because only when you love someone You only understand when you love yourself more than yourself. And I suspect you simply don't have the courage to love someone that way.
You don't know about real loss because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much.
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you think you You can understand me just by seeing one of my paintings. Just a few words of yours will make my old wounds rip apart. You are an orphan, right? Do you think that after reading Oliver Twist, I can understand how hard your life is, how you feel, what kind of person you are? Does that book say everything about you? Personally, I don't care about this mess at all because I don't get any information from you, and I can't find out what kind of person you are in the books. Unless you want to tell me what kind of experience you have and what kind of person you are. In that case, I'd be more than happy to help you through the storm and walk with you.
You presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right? You think I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don't give a shit about that because you know what, I can't learn anything from you. I can't read in some fucking books. Unless you wanna talk about you, who you are. And I'm fascinated. I'm in.
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That girl...beautiful, smart, funny. She's not like most girls I've met before.
Will: This girl is like you know, beautiful. She's smart. She's fun. She's different from most of the girls I've been with.
Then call her little lover.
Counselor: So call her up Romeo.
Why? So I can see that she's actually not that smart and actually a boring person? Do you understand... You don't understand... This girl is perfect now, I don't want to spoil the beauty.
Will: Why so I can realize she's not that smart, that she's fucking boring? You know what I mean you don't… this girl is like fucking perfect right now and I don't want to ruin that.
Maybe you are perfect now too of. Maybe what you don't want to destroy is your good image. Well, this logic is too awesome, as long as you keep thinking with this logic, you can spend the rest of your life without really knowing anyone.
(Will
is silent) My wife farts when she's nervous. She has all sorts of ailments. She often farts when she falls asleep. You listen to play haha. One night the fart was so loud that the dog was woken up. She also woke up and asked me: is it your fart? I said: yes. I don't want to tell her. oh god haha.
Counselor: Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't wanna ruin that. But I think that's a super philosophy Will, that way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody. My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. She used to fart in her sleep. Just thought I'd share that with you. One night it was so load it woke the dog up. She woke up and go like " was that you?" I said "yeah." I didn't have the heart to tell her. Oh God.
Did she fart wake herself up? ( laughs wildly)
Will: She woke herself up? (laugh)
Yes. God she's been dead for two years and that's all I remember about her. These things are actually beautiful, but the trivial things make me miss them so much. Her little ailments that only I know about make her my one and only wife. She knows my little faults too. People call these little faults "imperfections." Not really, they are good things. By making others aware of our imperfections, we open our hearts to letting others into our strange little world. You are not a perfect person. I'm not going to leave you any suspense, that girl is not perfect either. What matters is whether you are the perfect combination together. That's the most important thing, and the key to building intimacy. You can learn a lot about the world by reading books, but the only way to do this is to have the courage to try it. You won't learn anything useful in this regard from my poor old man.
Counselor: Yes. Oh Chris she's been dead for two years, and that's the shit I remember. It's wonderful stuff you know, little things like that. Yeah but those are the things I miss the most, those little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about . That's what made her my wife. Boy she had the goods on me too. She knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things “imperfections”. But they are not. That's the good stuff. And then we choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You are not perfect spot. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met she isn't perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world of books but the only way you're finding that out is by giving it a shot,something you won't learn from an old fucker like me.
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Have you thought about Remarried?
Will: You ever think about getting remarried?
My wife died.
Counselor: My wife is dead.
That's why it is called "remarriage".
Will: Hence the word “remarried”.
She died.
Counselor: She's dead.
Well, the logic is so awesome Sean, I mean as long as you stick to that logic, you can spend the rest of your life without really knowing anyone.
Will: Yeah I think that's a super philosophy Sean. I mean that way you can actually go through the rest of your life without ever really knowing anybody.
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He abandoned others before they had a chance to leave him.
He pushes people away before they had a chance to leave him.
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