I have a date with a zombie

Jake 2022-04-22 07:01:02

If my boyfriend goes to the same place every time he goes on a date with me, and that place is still very tasteless, the most important thing is that the food in his house is extremely unpalatable... Dumping him without hesitation)

If my son, when he reaches the age of starting a family and a successful career, rarely comes home several times a year, he forgets to bring gifts every time he comes home, and always picks a few wild flowers for me in front of the garage of my house ...

if I have two roommates, don't go out every day, dominate the sofa and TV in the living room, play live, make the house like a junkyard, swear, behave vulgarly, and never close the door of my house. When I come home from overtime, expecting a good rest to deal with the headaches of work on Sunday night, I can't fall asleep with their earth-shattering hip-hop music...
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If I don't have my own business, I'm approaching 30 years old, and I'm still working in a small shop As a salesperson, my work has no passion, it is boring, and I am mocked and despised by my colleagues ten years younger than me. The future is bleak...

If I wake up naturally every day without washing my face or gargling, and going out the door, Turning around the first street intersection, you will give the same beggar a little change, you will trip over the street in the same place, you will go to the same convenience store, you will open the same cabinet, and you will bring out the same beer and sweets. Then I went back the same way, never looking up and paying attention to everything around me. When I got home, I didn't bother to close the door, and continued to play live games...

If I try to take my girlfriend to a tasteful restaurant every time, come to a different one. Dating, but for one reason or another, I can only go to the "Winchester" that is not very popular and can be reserved for ten thousand years, but she hates so much. My uselessness, decay, and ambiguity made my girlfriend feel like she had no future with me, so she dumped me when she couldn't take it anymore.

If, I'm just a complete loser...

I was too immersed in my failed life, a numb life, isolated from the surrounding world to the point of separation, I didn’t know what was happening around me, a meteorite fell, an unknown virus was spreading, police cars, ambulances on the street Cars whizzed by, the news kept running warnings, zombies roamed the city streets...and I didn't notice until a zombie broke into my door (because we never close the door)....

and then Dull thought about why I didn't notice the invasion of zombies. Maybe I could have recovered a lot of lost things if I discovered it earlier. In the final analysis, it is because I live and breathe like a zombie, and it is difficult to find changes in each other when I get along with the same kind.

Zombies are coming, and my beloved mother and girlfriend need my protection. This is a perfect opportunity for me to get out of the shadow of the loser and make a gorgeous transformation. So my roommate and I made various rescue plans, and finally finalized a set for us. considered an excellent solution. However, the reality is so cruel, or the director is so cruel, let me personally kill the infected mother, roommate, and countless neighbors within the same day. I failed again, I am destined to be a loser, even if these zombies are slow compared to their predecessors in "Resident Evil" and "28 Days Change", their actions are slow, their reactions are slow, their IQs are low, and they are prone to headshots. I still can't achieve it. One time my heroism. My life is completely ruined. I don't want to live anymore, I'm going out and fighting them!

However, the reality went against my will again, the army that disappeared for N days appeared, my girlfriend and I were saved, the world became peaceful, and people and zombies coexisted peacefully! Now I still play live with my roommate Ed who turned into a zombie every day, and everything is so harmonious. .

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Extended Reading

Shaun of the Dead quotes

  • Barbara: [over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house.

    Shaun: Well are they still there?

    Barbara: [over the phone] I'm not sure, we've shut the curtains.

    Shaun: Did you try the police?

    Barbara: [over the phone] Well I thought about it.

    Shaun: Are you OK? Did they hurt you?

    Barbara: [over the phone] No I'm fine. I'm fine.

    Shaun: Mum...

    Barbara: [over the phone] Well they were a bit... bitey.

    Shaun: [concerned] Mum, have you been bitten?

    Barbara: [over the phone] No... But Philip has.

    Shaun: [calmly] Oh, OK.

    Ed: Has she been bitten?

    Shaun: [to Ed] No, Philip has.

    Ed: [calmly] Oh, OK.

    Shaun: Listen, Mum, what sort of state is he in?

    Barbara: [over the phone] Oh, he's fine. Bit under the weather.

    Shaun: I see.

    Ed: What's the deal?

    Shaun: [to Ed] We may have to kill my step-dad.

  • Ed: We're coming to get you, Barbara!