I passed by her store a few days ago and was deeply attracted to her. I haven't seen her for many years, but I dare not talk to her. She is so sunny, but I have spent too much time in darkness. If I let her I'll feel guilty about getting involved with me, maybe I'll bring her a dark side. I have unresolved loneliness and sadness that I can't tell a person because maybe I'm just a joke. I've lived 28 years in dark days, emptiness has been tormenting me, I can't see any future, and I've always fantasized that I can do great things, and now I find that my dreams are as far away as a person swimming across the Pacific Ocean. The passage of time is tormenting me, making me anxious, seeing people I know or who are the same age or younger than me get married and have children, I feel bad, maybe a family is too far away from me, adults don't dream okay , This is the real society, don't think that there will be warmth in this life. Too many inner contradictions are entangled in my heart, doubting the value of my existence, and now I find that there is no existence without a story. I speculate about the world in a dark room, and finally I find that everyone outside has their own life. The story, and I have been doing nothing, even if I was despised outside, no insults, hey, what a bad luck, the world doesn't know I've been here, I have to go for a walk, even if people say , The freak who had been out for decades came out, but that was just a storm. They talk about it, after all, they talk about each other, and I don't look down on anyone, which is a disadvantage of not being able to integrate into them. But it doesn't matter, the worst thing is that I have to live a good life. I have to figure out a way to make something, no matter what. A script, or raising a group of pigs, what does it matter? The important thing is that I have to create something. Even if it is to grow a watermelon, it is also an action. In the past few decades, I have not been bathed in the sun, and I have been surrounded by loneliness and cold. Sad memories limit everything. Now, I am 28 years old, and I can't go on like this anymore, because I lack a love, and warm love is my life. Everything, if there is no love story, I don't know why it exists, especially with a fate like mine, without the warmth of family, I have to give me some warmth. For the time being, I can't get close, because I can't let her refuse, that's the pain I can't bear, I need to be excellent, so she has no reason to refuse, this may be a dream, but it's a dream that gives me strength , maybe I will give up as a last resort, at least now she still gives me strength.
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