In one scene, Erika picked up toilet paper with semen from the trash can while watching porn in a porn video store. The camera was always on her face, still so cold and noble, just like she was playing a piano in a concert hall. Look like. Such disharmony between behavior and mental state creates a shocking contrast effect. Erika's soul is contradictory and divided, and the various parts of the personality conflict with each other and corrupt each other. How does Erika view her sexual preferences? Is this really what she wants? We can get some hints from several plots. For example, Erika met a student of her own in a porn video store, and then during class she expressed her opinion about the students going to watch the video. Erika scolded the students and said that his behavior was nasty, which undoubtedly expressed her own shame. View of sex. She doesn’t think that her sexual preferences are good and legitimate. Although she is doing the most deviant things to oppose her mother, the influence of her mother’s ideas on her remains in her bones and becomes a part of her opposing herself. The other part. She denies the desire of the body, but she can only get pleasure from what she considers to be indecent. Hatred, vengeance, and despair are mixed in this lust. She doesn't understand that there is also a warm hug in eros, a pity for scars, and a moment when the soul and the flesh are perfectly combined. Her terrible family environment ruined her, some beautiful and precious things slipped away from her life, she turned a blind eye to them, and all that was left were expressions of desire that scratched the soul.
When Erika peeked at a couple who had sex in a car and was discovered, how sad the embarrassing appearance of running away from the wild is so sad. She just yearns for love. She has the same initial motives as thousands of ordinary people, and her normal desires have changed. Is it her fault? Who will be put in that kind of family environment, will not produce some abnormal behavior? People all point to her perverted behavior and make irresponsible remarks, but whoever realizes that she is a poor wounded person in the first place. But whether right or wrong, she only has the desire to love, but she no longer knows how to love, and the tragedy caused by this will always be carried by her poor man abruptly.
The appearance of Walter is really a blessing in her life. A young, handsome, talented, and energetic boy fell in love with Erika, a declining, serious and rigid 40-year-old woman. This attraction is a naked soul. The attraction to the soul, all external and material things seem insignificant, let the worldly people care about it! In the process of playing Schubert's music, the two people's mutual understanding skipped all appearances and went directly to the depths of the unknown souls, where they used notes to tell the language that they only understood each other. This kind of encounter is rare. Erika, who has passed away, finally waited for the redemption moment of her soul. But the saddest thing is that Erika is already a half-rotten person. She is destined to be the one closest to happiness. Another tragic figure who must personally smash happiness, her tragedy has long been conceived and lurking in the process of her growth, waiting for a cruel and tragic outbreak.
I don’t want to elaborate on the next three sexual encounters between Erika and Walter. In short, I saw how Walter’s passionate love was wiped out bit by bit under shock and humiliation, and I saw that Erika maintained it with super strong will for a long time. How the lost rationality and calm disintegrated step by step into complete madness and despair, my heart is very tingling. Finally, at Erika's home, Walter locked her mother up as she requested and raped Erika roughly. During the entire rape process, she remained like a dead body, her empty and numb eyes revealing her inner disillusionment. Is this what she wants? She was so eager, but she never understood what she wanted. A friend once confided to me the confusion in his sexual experience, why every time he was driven by a strong desire to do it, but after the orgasm, it is inevitable to be lonely and nothingness. Is sex just an illusion given by nature for the purpose of continuity of race? Is there anything that can make us still have inner fullness after the orgasm?
Everyone has desire. Desire is like chaos in the beginning, with only motivation, but the meaning is vague. Desire should not be forbidden or denied, nor can it be truly forbidden. It will only continue to exist in a morbid form. . Desire should be guided and controlled, and lead the driving force of life to a beautiful bloom. Just like in classical music, reason and passion are coordinated together. The two do not exclude each other and degrade, but need each other. Reason prevents passion from becoming purely animal instinct and gives sexual behavior unique to humans. The double comfort of his body and mind. At the same time, the passion of life always has the ultimate meaning, don't let reason become a cold thing without purpose and high above.
The thing that made me think about this movie most is: Is it necessary to let the misfortune be ruined in the unfortunate family like Erika? In difficult circumstances, is the distortion of desire and personality transformation inevitable? Do people have to succumb to the inevitability of the environment and fate? Or can the heart follow another necessity that belongs to the realm of freedom? Let fate bring me the strongest pain possible, but you can't ruin me inside. French thinker Wei Yi said: "In order to have the power to face the misfortune in the midst of misfortune, there must be supernatural food." Human nature dominated by natural laws does not have the power of transcendence, and must rely on the divine call to get rid of the constraints of natural laws. The Stoics in ancient Greece also emphasized that destiny can change everything, except for virtue, and the will of virtue is the only important thing. In the movie "Floating Clouds", Sachiko, like Erika, is an unfortunate woman. She did not get a chance to be close to happiness until she died, but she did not change her belief in love until she died, and she did not become a woman who wanted to be used for her in vain. A woman who has been disappointed in her life begging for an argument. Destiny is like a cloud, and her heart is like a rock. Her value belief is not insisted on getting the corresponding happiness in return. Xingzi is a tragedy that deserves our awe.
And Erika? She made me feel even more distressed. Her personality was unknowingly shaped in her ignorant teenage years. She hadn't had time to gain the power to resist all this. At the end of the film, Erika took out a sharp knife to stab her chest, her red shirt stained with red blood, her expression was still so firm, the pain of the body was nothing compared to the pain of the heart. With a heart full of scars, she walked into the vast night, where can she go?
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