01 Summary
"The Verge Diary" is adapted from the autobiographical novel "Basketball Diary" by the author and musician Jim Caro. It tells the youthful journey of street teenager JIM who was confused, degenerate, and sinking into his final consciousness.
JIM was born in an American neighborhood. He is a high school student and a local star player. He and three other players hang out all day, skipping classes, stealing, fighting, and squandering his youth on the streets of New York. JIM's dream is to become the NBA. Player and poetry writer, he recorded his life feelings and thoughts in his diary. Until his teammate Niu Joan prepared a surprise for him, he was exposed to drugs and became addicted to drugs. At this time, his best friend from childhood died, which dealt a heavy blow to him, and he became more addicted to drugs.
The lack of communication with his mother, the simple and rude education of the school godfather, and the sexual harassment of the team coach all pushed JIM into the abyss of degeneration. He and his two teammates dropped out of school and left home to join the drug addicts on the street. In order to get drugs, they used all means. In the end, when desperate to go home and ask her mother for money, she was sent to prison by her mother, and got a new life through self-reflection and the help of the black Reggie.
02 Junior JIM
In my opinion, this movie is not only about JIM, but through JIM’s final confession, I am more inclined to be a block movie. JIM is just a microcosm of block teenagers, and these teenagers who indulge themselves and spend their youth are The product of the neighborhood culture, but JIM is more fortunate. JIM’s luck lies in his belief in words. I say this is too superficial, but a person who believes in words and poetry must not be fierce, indifferent and vulgar in his heart.
Although living in a neighborhood full of crime, promiscuity and drugs, he is kind and has a bottom line. He will call his friend's mother a prostitute when his teammates say that his friend's mother is a prostitute; he will soberly admit himself when his teammates brag about one and ten. Can't beat opponents; will visit friends who have been sick and hospitalized for a long time, and take them out for a drive; although he is curious about sex, he cleans himself and keeps the bottom line when faced with the temptation of drug-addicted prostitutes.
He has his own pride and beliefs. He will play like a cheetah. He wants to become an NBA player. He will carefully experience and record his life and is determined to publish a book. He is sensitive and pure to experience every bit of his own feelings and writes "Children Playing with a slingshot, the marbles hit the sun, and the rays of light fell. I just want to be pure.” Such verses.
He treats others equally and tenderly, does not discriminate against the black Reggie like others, and affirms the other's basketball skills; he communicates well with his mother with a strong personality and gives her a goodbye kiss; he is shy when a girl is courting and seeks advice from a girl.
Although he was rebellious against cholera, he was extremely docile in his bones.
03 Confused
I have always had confidence in him, and I think he will have a bright future and become a very charismatic person, even at this time, he can no longer look back on drugs.
He is not like other drug-addicted friends. He still has his own standards. He can steal money but can't beat the elderly. He can take drugs but can't sell his body to the coach for money.
He wanted to stop, he wrote in his diary. He opened his heart to communicate with his mother and tried to express his own situation, saying that we should really have a good chat often, but the answer to him was his mother's usual "I warn you" and "You can't go on like this".
He went to confess to his godfather. At first he was unwilling to go because he felt that he had done a lot of things that he could not face and forgive himself. When he reverently said his faults and confusion, he complained to the godfather of the unfairness of his friend's death, expecting To get some help and guidance from the godfather, the godfather just closed the door impatiently and cut off his unfinished words.
He has never given up on communication, and even sincerely and earnestly seeks help from outsiders who should be trustworthy. But both mother and God closed the door. Just like the opening monologue, when I was eight years old, I invited God to come to my house to watch a football game and be friends with him, but he didn't come.
It is true that he talked to the world with his eight-year-old innocence, hoping to get help, but no one came this time.
04 Fall
Finally he was expelled from school for taking drugs while playing games.
He didn't want this either. His friend just said "Too bad, the drugs were confiscated" but he was different. He would say "Unbelievable, I was expelled from school and I can't play basketball anymore." At this time, he didn't give up on himself, as long as anyone could save him. But when he returned home, he was still waiting for his mother's strong orders and warnings. When his mother asked him to leave the house, he also left the house. Although his mother loves him, she won’t scold him so hysterically, but in this neighborhood, not everyone is as good at communicating and loving as JIM. Maybe because it’s a single-parent family, her mother has to become strong outside, but only Putting hope in God, this is not entirely mother's fault. Seeking helplessness seems to have fallen, so he threw the championship trophy into the trash can, still looking forward to love in his heart, thinking that someone would love him somewhere in the world.
So he came to the wrong friend to find his belongings and became a member of the drug addicts in the neighborhood. The world has become dark and chaotic. He wanders between criminals and drug users, making money for drug use, committing crimes for making money, committing crimes and being chased by the police, and drug addicts making trouble, permuting and combining, repeating. Endlessly.
It seems that many years have passed since the basketball boy who wrote poetry, there is no basketball anymore, the blue sky of New York, the unrestrained running, the refreshing carbonated drinks.
People adapt to a kind of life quickly, and then life will continue like this, no one knows.
When he saw his former teammate Nutris appear on TV to become the champion of the National High School League and won a college scholarship, he still cares. It may be regret, pain or nostalgia. He wants to return to the gold that shines. In times, he wanted to go back and see his mother. In the end, he just looked at his mother from a distance, perhaps because she didn't want her to see what he was like now, or because he was angry and said he would never come back again.
Once again, he thought about looking back, but in the end he didn't look back.
05 Sinking
Finally he met someone who cared about him, and Reggie, the black man he had played before. Reggie helped him get rid of drugs and gave him support.
But after Reggie went out, his drug addiction broke out and he stole Reggie's money and returned to the street to relapse. At this time, he still has his own nature in his heart, and he will feel sorry for having to abandon his companions, and he will be touched by New Joan's victory, and refuse to betray his body. I have been thinking about why he fell so thoroughly afterwards, and now I may have an answer.
Reggie was the only one who really cared about him and devoted himself to him, but he still stole the money to relapse. His confession said: "I am alone, everyone is alone. Who will wait for me at the end, this is a bad one in these beautiful journeys."
Taking drugs is bad, and stealing Reggie's money is even worse. On the one hand, he yearned for love, but because of drug addiction, he rejected it. He could only comfort himself by saying that we are all alone, in order to alleviate his guilt. His heart is still huge emotional hollow. This time he no longer said when he left home that someone in the world would love me, but asked if there was such a person. From this time, he was completely lost and gave up on himself. Then he betrayed his body for drugs. At that time, he broke down and allowed himself to be destroyed and torn apart. He seemed to be soberly fixed there, painfully and irretrievably accepting a destiny doomed to destruction, he had to sink down and did not dare to wake up.
06 Awakening
When his accomplice Mickey shot and killed the drug dealer, his sanity and bottom line were finally pulled back. Accompanied by the overwhelming vulnerability and the need for safety and warmth, he returned home and asked his mother for help. At first, I might really want to ask my mother for money to get out of the city to hide from misfortunes, but in the end it became an excuse for wanting money to take drugs. In the pain and entanglement of giving him money or calling the police, his mother chose to call the police and sent him to prison. In prison, he began to read his life diary, reviewing his previous life, thinking about what he wanted, and thinking about if he had a godfather and godmother. After being released from prison, he refused the invitation of his partner Pepe, returned to life, and shared his experience with others.
07 Those teenagers
Although JIM has experienced so much, I still want to say that he is lucky. He has his own fundamental gentleness, self-seeking and reflective spirit. He did not completely abandon himself and diary creation for a moment; he met Reggie, and he was sent to prison by his mother. In contrast, his two other friends, a real boy in the popular neighborhood, Mickey does not have his own beliefs. He has a simple mindset and no bottom line. Although Pepe is kind-hearted, her mother is a prostitute herself, and she goes with the crowd with her weakness. In the end, Mickey went to jail for murder, and Pepe still wandered the streets.
In fact, let us look at the previous generation, even the most positive black Reggie in the play missed the way. The youth of the teenagers in these neighborhoods seems to be a theater that reincarnates, and most of them move towards a certain kind of necessity. The film uses a lot of comparisons, JIM's attitude towards prostitutes and betrayal before and after drug use, the comparison between JIM and his friends in life, etc. These are all easy to explain and understand. But a contrast deeply touched me, and that was when New Joan attracted JIM to take drugs, the rich sisters’ attitude towards JIM was intimacy and beautiful. I think this is like a rosy dream for JIM. After JIM became addicted to drugs, they went back to find the sisters. They said they didn't know JIM, and the names they used before were also fake. At this point, I think both JIM and I understand that all this is just a game for the rich children, and only myself is ruined. This is the source of JIM's final monologue.
He understood the barriers between the neighborhood and the upper level, and understood the lack of guides in his life. After understanding the reasons for his life, the black man finally appeared in the theater. I guess he became the godfather of JIM. Fortunately, he found a way to understand and save himself. The way to rescue may be to keep hope before dawn, not to give up on yourself, to stay awake and to work hard, not to give up asking for help, and to actively accept help from others. The author of this book later realized his dream and became a writer and musician. Regardless of whether you are a teenager in the neighborhood, don't give up when you are in the dark. Your life may be deep or shallow. Please feel free to wake up and move forward.
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