It's been about a month since I went to the movies, and the person who accompanies me to the movies has become my ex-boyfriend. When I went to the movies with me, it was Feng Xiaogang, I couldn't expect this person to accompany me to watch movies like Springtime.
However, when the movie came out, our silence made me guilty.
The movie is very vulgar, and it is a happy movie with older men and women. I don't understand what happened this year. Feng Xiaogang's style, Beijing ruffian's tone. In the whole film, the least harmonious person is actually Shu Qi. I can't imagine why a woman like Liang Xiaoxiao appeared in Feng Xiaogang's film.
I personally thought that if this story was told by Wong Kar Wai, it might have a different feeling.
It will be the flow of eyes, the smile on the corner of the lips, the shaking of the wine glass, the blurred face in the shadow, and the large narration to describe the first feeling of seeing the person opposite. The smiling eyes will have more stories, maybe we can understand more why she is so reluctant to let go of the married man, and why she is so reluctant to uncle Ge.
I've been with my ex for a year, but I've never said I love him. From the very beginning, he understood that my heart was still tied in another place, but my love was too deep, so I could neither let go nor force it, but I just waited silently until I could one day realize it by myself. He loved me in a clumsy and humble manner. At first, he just hoped that I could show my face and live a happier life. As for whether I could get something in return, it was not on the agenda. And I, while enjoying this man's favor, stubbornly stick to a memory that can't be turned back. Self-deception, deceiving others, with only himself in his eyes, and the man, who naively thought he was strong enough not to get hurt. One day, when I stopped and looked back at him, I found that I had hurt him so deeply that I had no face to face.
In the end, I let go. I let go of the hand that had been entangled in him, let him go free, and would no longer be hurt and dragged down by me in the future. I knew from the beginning that I would not fall in love with this man, entangled selfishly, just using his love to comfort my tiredness, thinking that whenever I am tired, at least I still have arms to rely on. Today, I still can't return it with love, stop lying to him, let him go, find a woman who loves him, come to love him and pet him.
He never understood that love cannot be cultivated by time and dedication, so no matter how much he paid, it would only be exchanged for my gratitude and guilt. He doesn't want much, it doesn't matter if he cheats, he just wants to stay by my side and see my smile. It's just that I'm selfish and timid, and I don't want to bear his deepness. Therefore, I hurt him thoroughly, and asked him to give up and cut off the umbilical cord that was attached to him. Even if he died on his own, it would be better than torturing him for decades.
A woman like me will never repent even if she dies once, so don't mess with it. Everyone has a history, but we have to learn to wear a mask on top of history. The wound must be healed alone. You can't expect others to lick it for you. No one has the responsibility to carry your past, so hide it. !
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