At
the age of thirteen or fourteen, I feel very inferior. I always feel that I am not good-looking enough, not tall enough, standing on the school playground for morning meetings, always a head shorter than others. At that time, most of the girls in the class liked a boy. The first time they noticed him was when the teacher named him to read the text in the book. Seeing that he was wearing a white shirt, he was tall and handsome, and he spoke very standard Mandarin, and spores appeared on many faces. Among his male classmates, he was exceptionally handsome. So I liked him. But don't want to get close. But the teacher put me and him in the front and back rows. At that time, I was shy and intolerable, and I didn't dare to talk to him at will. I just carefully looked at his handsome face in class and was happy. Hehe, the good impression of youth makes me like this type of man and white shirt.
Around the third grade of junior high school, many boys and girls began to communicate their friendship with each other. Among their classmates, they dared not even touch their hands. In the eyes of teachers, they were heinous. At that time, we had a good relationship in the front and back rows, so we all went to the ethnic village to celebrate the Dai water-splashing festival. The boy was the first to get involved in the water-splashing melee, and our girl was watching from the side. He came over and gave me his wallet, BP machine, and watch, and said, "You help me take care of it." Just such an unintentional entrustment, in my heart, I still remember it after 10 years, huh, maybe a little bit of trust at that time was a great encouragement and comfort to me who was inferior. Among the female classmates, some even said that he must be made to fall in love with him before graduation, which shows his popularity. One night before graduation, after the school had a party, a few classmates met for supper. The two of us rode side by side, and on that summer night, he said to me, if I chased you, would you like me. I was startled. Could it be that he could see my hard-buried thoughts? Oh, but I still didn't relax verbally, I said, no, no, I don't like a boy like you, I can't have a stable feeling. He gave me a deep look at that time, and since then, we have never talked about this topic again.
After graduation, when he saw him at Yunda, he was even more handsome. He showed me the picture of his girlfriend in his wallet, and on Songkran, another person I secretly saw in the wallet. A few years later, he was seen at a class reunion, and another girlfriend was brought to the party. The girlfriend around him is always beautiful, and he deserves a beautiful girlfriend. And he is the only man I have ever had a crush on in my life.
two
At the same time, a female classmate was born in the same year, the same month and the same day as me. From the first day we entered the school, we became friends. The two go to school together, leave school together, eat roadside stalls together, and sing together every day. She treats me very well and takes good care of me. I am like her little sister. When I eat melon seeds, I need to peel them and give them to me. When I eat ice cream, I need to remove the paper and fork. She has always been dressed in a neutral image. When we walked in the school, others thought she was a boy. There were even girls in lower grades who wrote love letters to her. She was beautiful and tall. If it was a boy, she must be very handsome. And she was good to me for no reason, no more. But I felt inexplicable fear in this faint. Until the teacher called me to the office alone and said, when the two of you have a leader in the school to check the work, you are not allowed to walk shoulder to shoulder, others will misunderstand your puppy love. I was embarrassed, and I didn't dare to get closer to her at first. One day after school, I deliberately stayed late, she kept waiting for me, noticed my change, and lost her temper at me. I went home and cried a lot, feeling that I had hurt her, and deeply remorseful. The next day, I took the initiative to apologize to her, and we reunited. Later, the female classmates began to reject her, saying that she was LES, and told me not to get close to her, and I would lose my body. I was really starting to get scared, and when I remembered how good she was to me, it seemed to have a strange meaning. Deliberately not going that way after school, not playing with her after class, she gradually became alienated by the girls in the class.
How stupid I was then. Hurt a cute, kind, and most feminine girl. I feel deeply guilty and remorseful for her transformation.
After graduating from university, she held an art exhibition and made a special trip to my house to send me the invitations. I was really happy for her to see her achievements in painting over the years. After a few words, she got up and said goodbye. So far, we haven't been in contact for three years, and she dresses more like a boy.
When I saw her paintings on display, I had no intention of seeing her holding a girl's hand on a street corner, and I was flustered. I think I was ashamed at the time. I saw the girl hugging her waist, and her eyes , her eyes with a kind of pleading. I'm heartbroken. It was me, or we, classmates, friends, teachers, school, society, who pushed her to this edge together, and together, became a sinner together.
2 years later, I met her while visiting Parkson with my boyfriend. She smiled at me, and I smiled at her. There was still the friendship in my eyes. My boyfriend was very jealous. Who is this man? Oh, this is a woman. what! ? He obviously didn't believe it at all.
When I was young, I was a really annoying child. Sensitive, arrogant, inferior, blind, willful, naive, and hypocritical. These contradictory characteristics are destined to make me experience ups and downs in the future road, accept setbacks, and then be able to face myself calmly, confidently, and introspectively. Who said that a person's attitude towards life is determined by the experience before the age of 20. Everything at that time gave me a lot of introductions to love, men I admire, women I like, and the life I long for. I know that I am changing, and when I can truly spend the rest of my life peaceful, happy, joyful, and content, that is the greatest happiness.
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