10/10
In the afternoon when I didn't want to work, I couldn't sleep until 4 am last night, but I couldn't take a nap. The stagnation in my heart was really hard to subside, so I finally opened this movie again.
Re-edited my top ten movies, it has to be listed.
I cried so hard that my hair was dizzy and my hands were shaking, and my pillow and quilt were wet and dry.
After reading it, I replayed it to memorize the lines.
Jin Minxi is really beautiful and good at acting. In the scene where the lights were dark in the cinema, I looked at her face on the screen, and I also looked at my face reflected on the screen.
The scene at the beach, and the scene of smoking and humming outside the cafe, made me cry. Shallow light, understatement, but it hurts.
At first I thought it was too strange for Hong Changxiu's camera to be zoomed in. The first time he appeared behind the kneeling Jin Minxi, it seemed too simple and casual, but it was a bit accepted when I saw the luxury hotel.
【1】
The man who asked the time in Korean in a foreign city, and the man who cleaned the glass on the balcony of the Gangneung Hotel, were probably all the hallucinations in her mind of the director who never really showed his face.
"Haunting phantom", when I saw him standing on the balcony, I subconsciously called him this name in my heart.
The lingering ghost is what others can't see, only she can see, it's the influence she wants to escape but can't get rid of.
And she, who didn't answer the question, had no concept of time, so she didn't have any expectations for the Saturday he promised to come?
Maybe she hopes she doesn't have expectations, but I know she will have some fluke expectations, even if she says "I won't wait", even if she already knows she will be disappointed.
I know her because I am her and she is me.
The first time she painted a man's face on the beach, her sister came to ask her "who is this." I looked at her expression, and I knew a little bit of Korean, and I knew what three words she was going to say.
"그사람". I said to her in unison.
"That person", as I usually refer to with "someone" and "that who". At that moment, I was her and she was me.
【2】
Hong Changxiu's lines are also of the type that you will find attractive the second time you read them, and like to repeat and echo each other.
There are often bridges that are obviously repeating what the other party has just said, but they have to repeat it even though they have understood it, as if they must confirm before the conversation can proceed.
This kind of characteristic was picked out by the other party when he met a man at the cinema, "Don't you know that and keep asking?"
When she was abroad, she told her sister, why don't I live here too?
When she was in Jiangling, she told her seniors, or I would consider moving here.
Anywhere is fine, but I don't want to go back to that sad place in Seoul.
When abroad she mentioned the director, saying, "He knows where I am."
When she was in Gangneung, she mentioned Sister Junxi and said, "She knows where I am."
If you know where she is, you will come to her, and if you don't come, you don't want to come.
After eating pasta, she kept repeating "I was really hungry/very very hungry", so many times that I even felt a little rude.
Myungsoo kept repeating "It's so cold" after entering the cafe, "It's just because I feel cold that I say it's cold".
The two of them were saying something that no one listening could really understand. People are either perfunctory or questioning, as if they know themselves better than they do.
Just like the so-called "immoral love", others point and point, but they don't know anything.
【3】
"Who knows if he will come. If he comes, he won't come if he doesn't come. I won't wait. He will come if he wants to. He knows where I am."
"All I want is to live like myself. Unshakable, no matter what happens, I can live like myself."
"That person is also a human being, and if there is really nothing I can do, there is nothing I can do."
"I just think that if I keep going, I'm afraid I'll end up like a weird woman who only likes men and doesn't care about other things, like a monster. I'm going to die beautifully, right?"
"You are clinging to living because you can't really love."
It's more of a female monologue than a film that projects the creator himself.
The above struggles, pains, and attempts to be independent, I understand all too well.
She would worry about her lover's situation and think "he's not having a good time", and outsiders can't understand this kind of worry.
That person is also a person, he has his difficulties, and I also have mine. This kind of contradiction and problem is really irreconcilable, and there is only helplessness left when thinking about it. I don't want to, but there's nothing I can do.
Also, Myung-soo and Do-hee in the coffee shop also made me feel a little embarrassed. The intimacy of the relationship between two people really cannot be hidden, and why is the man cowardly again this time. (Although I'm not a big fan of the grumpy lady I met for the first time.)
Besides, many girls in this film have the suffix "hee" in their names. Is it echoing Kim Min Hee's 희?
I hope I'm not a monster woman who only likes men and thinks nothing else matters.
Although it is true that I have always been affected by love.
Maybe that's the price, if you come back and bring me double the joy and happiness, the emotional waves when you leave will also be double the frustration and unease.
In the past, I would think, why should I endure such a double world.
Then I chose not to be happy or sad, and the relationship was terminated by me.
I'm calm on days without someone, not so much intense joy, nor any sadness that interferes with my day-to-day state.
I am used to being alone, neither crying nor laughing nor talking.
But in the days with someone, my laughter and tears were instantly pulled down a lot. The happiness I feel when we are together has been so much that it makes me flustered, like the sense of loss every time I come out of that mall after singing K excitedly and see that the sky has darkened.
Insecure people start thinking when they are happy, what am I going to do without this happiness. Then it will activate the self-protection mechanism to restrain itself. So no matter how much I trust and believe, I always have a way out for myself.
I don't want to die too ugly.
Needless to say, tears, every day when I wake up, I feel like I can cry a lot. Listening to music is not good, watching movies is not good, seeing things will hurt feelings, touching scenery will also generate feelings.
But unlike before, I don't want to end it in an extreme this time.
Maybe I feel more happy and needed.
I think one day I can live in peace with it, and one day I can make my happiness outweigh my pain.
One day I can do it, to be a better me in his absence, be the better “us” when together.
I hope I can be more independent. I am not beautiful for you, not for you to be thin, not for you to be happy, and I am also qualified to be happy without you.
【4】
That poem was written,
"Leave aside the love that binds people, and let go of the full of thoughts dashingly.
When I couldn't see the face, I stomped my feet in a hurry, but when I saw the face, it hurt even more.
Forget it without lingering, let it go gracefully. "
The book said,
"How unimportant, how trivial, how false all that prevents us from loving each other. When we are in love, or when we think of that love, we do not judge happiness or misery, whether it is an act of good or evil, by ordinary standards, we should Start with something higher and more important than these. If not, then don't think more."
Her seaside dream was her hopeless hope.
In real life, directors and actors are always together.
I think Kim Min Hee must have had similar struggles and thoughts in the movie. Not sure what makes them so brave though.
But I think it must be the courage of two people.
"They seem to be in true love."
"Um."
"But why make trouble? Let them fall in love, why do people make trouble?"
Yes, those who are idle and have nothing to do who love to judge others' private lives, those who are narrow-minded and ignorant and think they occupy the moral high ground, why do you make trouble? What are we holding you back?
I hope that when I recall this love countless times in the future, I will no longer judge happiness or unhappiness with the ordinary standard of the world. Maybe there will be less time to be caught by the "sense of injustice".
I hope they can always be together, I hope we can always be together.
View more about On the Beach at Night Alone reviews
