The happiness of Chinese people is probably the product of time.
If there is something bad, if you don't do anything over time, it will gradually get better. For example: when the children grow up, they will be sensible; when the children have children, they will know their parents' kindness; when the parents are old, they will not hate them; At one point, the contradiction disappears.
We place great hope in the resolution of conflict over time. Maybe it can be resolved in the end, but we forget the time cost. Forget about the physical and mental consumption of time. What we don't realize is that in the end, it is not better, but the fragility and limitation of human beings surrendered in the eternity of time.
People will forget, they will be tired, their thinking will slow down, and their bodies will decline. It is not time that brings reconciliation, but the coming of old age and death, which is more urgent and real than the previous harm.
This is a cultural logic of " surviving the day".
Watching "Long Time", there is such a strong feeling.
The protagonists are all boiling and waiting. What are you waiting for? aging and death .
As Wang Liyun's famous line said: " Time has stopped, I'm just getting old slowly. "
Waiting for aging and death is "boil". This film vividly captures the emotion of Chinese people who are helpless when suffering comes, and can only wait slowly for time to pass.
The suffering of Liu Yaojun and Wang Liyun's family was caused by Li Haiyan's family. The two families have had a long-lasting friendship. They once went to the countryside together, returned to the city together, worked as workers together, had children together, and the children grew up together like brothers.
The first tragedy of Liu Yaojun and Wang Liyun was that Li Haiyan, the director, forcibly took away Wang Liyun, who was pregnant with a second child, to induce labor.
To be fair, the perpetrators cannot be held accountable for these two injuries.
The first is national policy, the second is unintentional.
This creates a paradoxical ethical dilemma— a tragedy without real harm . Such tragedies are not uncommon. A change in policy, an improvement in production technology, a war, or a natural or man-made disaster are all enough to cause such a tragedy. It may be a specific person who directly caused the harm, but you and that person both know that behind it is the irresistible "hand of God" that exceeds human expectations.
When a person is hurt, the most fear is that no one can blame .
But there are many unsatisfactory things in life, but there is no specific reference. It may not be as extreme as the loss of a child, but the most common ones are failure in the college entrance examination, emotional disappointment, bottleneck at work, and marriage hitting the rocks... It is also not so easy to judge who is right and who is wrong. How to do? Leave everything to time. Take it slow, and it will always be okay—or it will always end .
We call this " forbearance ". That's right, the word "forbearance" was repeatedly mentioned in the promotion of the movie. We say that this is the virtue of our Chinese sons and daughters.
Is it really?
The secret of Wang Liyun and his wife is to go far away and adopt a boy who looks like a star as an adopted son. Forbearance means not to mention, not to smell, not to think, not to hate, not to love. To endure a moment with extreme patience is a moment. In the end, the husband cheated and the wife attempted suicide.
On Li Haiyan's side, she is also forbearing, trying her best to avoid talking about the accident in front of her son, and she has to endure great remorse and self-blame every day. There are many hints in the film that her final illness was related to her many years of heart knots.
"Forbearance", we always think that after a certain period of time, things will naturally improve. Indeed, comedy in Chinese culture is often acquired through a lifetime of hard work. The scenes of happiness that we are familiar with are almost all the scenes of old age, such as four generations living together, children and grandchildren around their knees. In other stages of life, it is "boiled".
"Forbearance" has a price. People have to bear great psychological pressure, and this pressure hurts themselves and those around them.
Wang Liyun and his wife should not adopt, because the harm will inevitably spread to the adopted son. Li Haiyan's husband's sister should not have gone to Liu Yaojun to atone for her crime, but she sacrificed an innocent fetus in vain. Liu Yaojun should not cheat, which directly led to his wife Wang Liyun's collapse and attempted suicide.
"Forbearance" does not solve the pain. Everyone is still helpless about the painful experience in their patience. Only when the greater pain, Li Haiyan's death, comes, can people embrace and cry again, can they talk about that experience, can they begin to ask for and give forgiveness, and can they achieve a certain degree of reconciliation.
But this is only a flash in the pan. If it is a more realistic context, after the funeral, Wang Liyun and his wife will not wait for the birth of a new life from an old friend's house. Everyone is still polite, and when they have done their justice, it is time to leave. They live in the far south, as always, and it is extremely unlikely that the adopted son will return to the family and live a normal life. There is a high probability that in the future, he will have to pay for the various evil deeds of his adopted son. On the Li Haiyan family side, it seemed that three generations lived together, and the son also apologized, but the influence of the tree in his heart could not be eliminated all at once. At the same time, it is impossible not to feel sorry for the death of my mother. What kind of husband and father will he be in the future? do not know.
Although the director forced a big reunion, in my opinion, "Long Time" is still a tragedy.
This tragedy is not the loss of Liu Yaojun and Wang Liyun's independence, nor is it that Li Haiyan has done something sorry for others and cannot atone for it. But whether it is someone who has been hurt or who has no intention of hurting others, they can only treat the tragedy with forbearance and restraint. Only when one generation is reincarnated can one enjoy "happiness".
I don't think this is the best way to face the hardships of life, nor do I think that "forbearance" is a virtue worth boasting about.
A better way to face a tragedy should not be forbearance and suffering. In fact, in a culture where "forbearance" is a virtue, aging and death are the only solutions. The so-called "Everyone rejoices" is just "Everyone forgets". To the end, it's just life, old age, sickness and death that can't be resisted, and his words are also good.
A better method than forbearance should be to gather all the good forces and seek the meaning of what is encountered .
Seeking the meaning of events is the turning point from tragedy to comedy.
In this process, we need to ask and seek with great courage, perseverance, and hope. It may take a long time, but it is not the same as patiently letting time pass. In the search for meaning, we grow, mature, and live with dignity and strength. More importantly, it will bring blessings to yourself and those around you. Instead of causing secondary damage to yourself and the people around you when you can't stand it anymore.
I know that this is an era of nihilism. Because life no longer has ultimate meaning, all encounters—good and bad, especially bad—can't have any meaning.
But if you really believe it, you lose.
The power of tragedy is not actually in making us suffer misfortune, but in convincing us that such an encounter has no meaning . Suffering has no meaning, sickness has no meaning, failure has no meaning, and death has no meaning. Once this lie is accepted, the real tragedy begins. The very fact of being alive is meaningless. This is the secret of tragedy destroying life.
You have to believe that everything that happens is meaningful. There is a real way out here.
View more about So Long, My Son reviews
