Sometimes what you pursue determines what you see

Amiya 2022-11-26 02:29:24

So far, to fully describe the excitement of youth from my perspective, what kind of existence is to us, the cognition of drug addiction, love and family to the world may have been already in American high school. Encountered, but for us, it is a cruel side that needs to be endured by a world that we will only meet in three years after graduation.

9 years of compulsory education, parental discipline, pure love in college, let us grow up in a better greenhouse, until after graduation and start working, the sophistication in life, the intrigue in the workplace, the push-pull game in emotions, let us We began to suspect that we were really too far from the real world in these nearly 20 years of life, and we were placed in a bloody world without any preparation.

Then we experience our growth. The lucky ones have been living in a simpler world, and the unfortunate ones have experienced confusion and struggle in the excitement. I told my friends that depression is never when you feel that you are overwhelmed by something. But it’s more than that after this incident, you gradually become suspicious of yourself, and the feeling of inferiority and confusion makes you feel that every step you take will fail and fall into the abyss, so you start to be afraid of doing anything , because everything around you has been magnified, hollowed out, and crushed by you. When you feel that the world is hopeless, you still want to find a sense of existence through self-mutilation. It seems that there is a nerve in your brain. It was abruptly torn off, and even began to think of suicide, looking for a way to free himself faster.

Rue presents us with all the behavioral and psychological characteristics of a full, confused and depressed character, while Jules is more like another living method who is also in the abyss, and they have all experienced very painful things. , even more than the experience of Jules, but all her actions in the play are positive, always smiling and facing life, actively chasing what she wants (invite Nate to meet), positive to change their status quo

What this show really made me see is that life is also unbearable, but maybe we can be more positive about life, just like Rue sees the sea as an influence that he can never reach, and for Jules , this is what she wants to be a symbol of, the sea for her is a symbol of both masculinity and femininity, a feeling of wanting to be very powerful and feminine like the ocean

Perhaps as everyone said, what to pursue determines what to see, the present is always flawed, but the direction you are moving forward is more important than your starting point

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Extended Reading

Trouble Don't Last Always quotes

  • Ali: Why'd you relapse?

    Rue Bennett: I don't know. Couldn't stop my mind from racing.

    Ali: Racing about what?

    Rue Bennett: Everything.

    Ali: Hey, hey. Get specific.

    Rue Bennett: [the shrugs her shoulders] All the things I remember and all the things I wish I didn't.

    Ali: Okay. I get it. Why didn't you call me?

    Rue Bennett: [scoffs] Just... honestly, I wasn't really trying not to relapse.

    [Ali laughs]

    Rue Bennett: [Rue bites her lip and chuckles]

    Ali: Yeah. Man. Okay. Where'd you get the drugs?

    Rue Bennett: I had some pills for emergency purposes.

    Ali: Fuck. So you never stood a chance.

    Rue Bennett: Nope.

    Ali: Do you wanna get clean?

    Rue Bennett: No.

    Ali: You sure?

    Rue Bennett: [whispers] Yea.

    Ali: [exhales] I get it. I get it.

    Rue Bennett: Is that fucked up?

    Ali: What? That you don't want to get clean? Yeah, yeah. Of course it's fucked up.

    Rue Bennett: Ah. I'm a piece of shit, huh?

    Ali: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a piece of shit.

    [Rue exhales]

    Ali: All right, but, uh, here's the silver lining. You're not a drug addict because you're a piece of shit. You're a piece of shit because you're a drug addict. You follow?

    Rue Bennett: Mm, I don't really...

    Ali: Okay, all right. What I'm saying is, you didn't come out of the womb an evil person. You, Rue, came out of the womb a beautiful baby girl, who unbeknownst to her, had a couple of wires crossed. So when you tried drugs for the first time, it, uh, set something off in your brain that's beyond your control. And it isn't a question of willpower. It's not about how strong you are. You've been fighting a losing game since the first day you got high. So you can destroy your life, you can f*ck your little sister's head up, you can abuse and torture and take for granted your mama, and sit here and look me in the eye, and say, as calm as can be, as cool as a cucumber, "Imma keep usin' drugs." Ha. That is the disease of addiction. It is a degenerative disease. It is incurable. It is deadly. And it's no different than cancer. And you got it. Why? Mm. Luck of the draw. But, hey, but the hardest part of having the disease of addiction, aside from having the disease, is that no one in the world sees it as a disease. They see you as selfish. They see you as weak. They see you as cruel. They see you as, uh, destructive. They think, why should I give a fuck about her if she doesn't give a fuck about herself or anybody else? Why does this girl deserve my time, my patience, my sympathy? Right? If she wants to kill herself, let her. All reasonable questions and responses. But luckily, you aren't the only person on planet Earth who has this disease. There happens to be people like me, who understand that you aren't all that bad.

    [Rue chuckles]

    Ali: Probably underneath all this busted-ass, chaotic energy, you might even be a good kid. Who knows? And that is why we are eating pancakes on Christmas Eve. Despite the fact that you don't want to get clean.

  • Rue Bennett: Wait, but haven't you been, like, clean for 20 years? Nah, nah. I was clean for seven years. Wait, really? Yeah, well, I had 12 years before that, but you know, I got cocky. Started to walk around thinking I was invincible. So, now I got seven years. Oh, sh1t. Right. Wait, how do you... How do you relapse after 12 years? You forget how bad it is. Damn. How, how long did you relapse for? A... year and a half. Oh, f*ck. Yeah, f*ck. Yeah. Right. Oh, sh1t. Damn. I thought, I thought you were gonna say, like, a day or something. Nah, nah. Once you get back in that cycle, you know, using and abusing, it's inescapable. Especially if you've been clean for 12 years. That's when the disease starts talking. "Twelve years, Martin, and you ain't never getting that far again." Aah. Wait. Martin? Uh, yeah.

    [both laugh]

    Rue Bennett: Who's Martin? Martin is me. What? My name. Your name is Martin? Well, it used to be. What? Before I converted. To what? To Islam. Ali, I'm super f*cking confused right now. What am I, your first Black friend? What'd you think, I was actually from the Middle East? I'm from south Philly. What...

    [laughs]

    Rue Bennett: Yeah, but you, you just don't, you don't look like a Martin. You don't. I didn't think so, either. Do women ever convert to Islam? Very few.