I've listened to "The Name Engraved in Your Heart" for a long time, but I haven't watched it. First, I couldn't find the resources. Second, I didn't really want to watch it at the time. I just thought the male protagonist was handsome enough. So, after I slapped the male protagonist's face on Weibo, it was gone.
I was bored this morning. I remembered that I downloaded an app to find resources a few days ago, so I looked it up on a whim.
While watching, I thought of a lot. Some of the classic lines that I was familiar with before did not touch me too much. On the contrary, Ah Han's eyes looking at Birdy and various small actions made me fall into the quagmire of memories.
After college, I went crazy once, at least in my opinion. Chasing a guy was something I never thought about, but I did.
It was in middle school that I realized that I liked boys, and it was only vague at that time. In middle school, I was very fat and unconfident, so I never thought about falling in love, let alone with boys.
I started my first relationship in college. He's nice and cute, the kind I'd love to protect. It's a pity that I'm still too bad at dating, so let him be disappointed too. I like his eyes very much, he sees people with light, just like Ah Han, I really like it. There was always a peculiar smell about him that I remember now.
Nothing happened to us before, to be precise. Maybe I'm too shy, I don't know how to express myself a lot of the time. Sometimes on the way back together, we wanted to get up and kiss him, but we were always afraid of scaring him. So I'm very careful, really careful, maybe it's the same kind of care, so the feelings have always been on the surface.
There is so much difference between us and Ahan and Birdy that we can't do a lot of things together. Because we can't enjoy all the sweetness and envy of ourselves and others brought by love like heterosexual couples. The only time we were out to the movies and I was sitting in the seat, just the two of us, I really wanted to kiss him, and I was scared again. The bottom line is that I wanted to go out to play together in the afternoon, but I had to go back to school because of work. I really feel guilty, and I have said sorry a thousand times in my heart. But he was always so forgiving. The first time he asked me out for a walk by the river was the weekend we first met at school. I thought it would go on like this forever between us. At that time, sleeping was sweet, and I always thought of him. But after that, I don't know why the relationship faded a lot, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to chat with him, but I was afraid that he would break up.
Later, I still invite him to dinner every day. He would always bring a female minister from his department, I thought it was nothing, it was normal to have good sisters. But it wasn't until the week before the end of the term when he asked me out and we were walking on the playground and he was crying as he talked.
He asked me how I felt about him, was there still love? My mind went blank. I shared my truest thoughts with him and he cried again. He said he wanted to give the female minister a try, and he also said he might not like boys anymore. He said that he was particularly afraid of hurting me, and I said it was fine. There is no right or wrong in emotional matters, as long as you like to pursue boldly.
And just like that, we parted. fantastic. I first lifted the couple space with him, and said that I would support him and hope to be friends. He smiled and left. Then came the high-intensity final review, which I probably forgot too.
On New Year's Day, he and his girlfriend exchanged official announcements. I was a little touched. It wasn't until I watched "Carved in" this semester that I remembered that what we were talking about might not be a love at all, compared to Ah Han and Birdy. I blame myself for not giving him better. Also very self-blame, maybe let him down to this group.
Coincidentally, there was a girl who kept chasing me during the winter vacation. With the help of her wingman, I agreed. I think I'm crazy and want to try to be in a relationship with a girl if it really makes a difference. Now I feel that I may have made a wrong decision at all. Recently, I'm going to break up with her, because I don't have any feeling of heartbeat, and nothing means nothing. I'm so sorry for hurting her. Just like in the movies, falling in love with someone doesn't change anything.
In school, occasionally I met him and his girlfriend, and he would still take the initiative to say hello to me. and introduced me to her girlfriend. I don't know that his girlfriend shouldn't know about me and him, and I won't tell her. Just hope they are happy. I am also willing to wait.
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