From the beginning, Xiaokang's father lit a cigarette and smoked it quietly, thinking of asking Xiaokang to eat, but he got no response. A man, sitting at the dinner table, staring at a certain place, smoking a cigarette. Later, he walked at the door again, looked into the distance, and smoked. Every shot is like a still photo, only the smoke reminds the burning of time.
Then, Xiaokang sat in the car holding his ashes, and said lightly, Dad, the car is going through the tunnel, you have to follow. No emotional ups and downs. Only one dad reminded each other of their relationship.
And all this is just the beginning of loneliness.
The passing of his father made those who loved him crazy and those who didn't love him scared.
Xiaokang is afraid of the dark night, so afraid of getting up that he uses plastic bottles to go to the toilet.
Xiaokang's mother thinks he never leaves, and surrounds her with cockroaches, or fish, or whatever. She would still put an extra bowl, serve him dishes, talk to him, and even kiss a fish.
I don't know how the relationship between their husband and wife is, but looking at the footage of the first well-off father, I feel that even together, each has their own loneliness. In order to resist a certain kind of loneliness, two people are together, love, desire, sex. It's not so boring when two people are bored together. It's not so lonely when two people are lonely together. At least at that moment, the warmth you can touch, the voice you can hear, and the company you can see. Already used to the life of two people, she left suddenly, her loneliness was so deep, and her overwhelm made her a little nervous. She can only vent her inner sadness through some crazy things.
Xiaokang met a woman on the street selling watches. A paranoid and strange woman. She only wanted the watch in Xiaokang's hand, even if Xiaokang said that the death of someone in his family would bring misfortune. She still stubbornly wants that watch, she is going to Paris, she needs two time watches. Finally, she took Xiaokang's business card and left. The next day, I made a phone call and got the watch without giving up. When leaving, she gave him a piece of cake. Later, Xiaokang suffered from some kind of obsessive-compulsive disorder. I don't know why, it's just a woman who sets all his watches to Paris time. In a watch shop, somewhere in a public toilet, at home, I even woke up inexplicably and ran to the shop to adjust my watch. It's all absurd, absurdly strange, and strangely hopeless. After you left, I want to know what time it is over there, what are you doing, and what the weather is like over there. How lonely he must have been to hold on to this thought, to think of that woman, to think of Paris. This is a sustenance, but also a metamorphosis.
Everything is by accident, Xiaokang's mother does not know that Zhong is Xiaokang's masterpiece. She thought it was her lover who came here, gave her a hint, and told her what time it was over there. She eats, sleeps and lives according to this time. She frantically cuts off the electricity and closes all the doors and windows. Xiaokang didn't want his mother to do this, and he wanted to stop it. However, she was so determined. He shouted and cursed, even if he was standing on Xiaokang's body, he had to stick to the doors and windows. Who can resist such a person? Xiaokang gave up.
In fact, we all know that all of this is deceiving ourselves. Because of powerlessness, fear, and despair, apart from convincing myself, what else can relieve my depression.
I have also seen his paranoia, his dejection every night, his self-talk to the photos, the loneliness of sitting alone, and he told her story over and over again, every time if she was there. .. In addition to a deserted sentence, I don't know how to express such loneliness. It is not clear whether it is love or not, maybe it is not love at all, but a kind of spiritual sustenance, a kind of accompanying love, a kind of habit, in fact, we are all afraid of a person.
That woman in Paris was lonely too, and I even thought she was an inexplicable person. She always travels alone in this strange city of Paris, never closing the door, drinking coffee until she vomits, embracing another woman in the dark, and leaving after not getting the comfort she wants, all the time I have to carry that watch all the time. At a certain moment, I want to find that business card and call Xiaokang, but I get another business card without success. I miss a train while waiting for the subway at the subway station. I couldn't see her expression, couldn't see her emotions, I could only feel a deep sense of emptiness. Aimlessly overwhelmed.
All this seems to be a warm memory, but it is actually hopeless and impossible.
No one can find an exit out of this emptiness of life. These people make me feel so strange, but strangely so real. I like that they don't speak for a long time, just staring somewhere, or just dazed, empty or even thinking. Maybe it's the person inside who comes out to live, he is very strange to this world, and we are also very strange to him. So we can't find a suitable way to get along. and the world, and myself.
I often see people sitting quietly on the bus and subway. Always wondered, what would they be thinking? After such a long journey, what should I think about? Still want nothing? Is it sad or happy? Memories or longings? It's all fun. You can't guess what an expressionless person is thinking, and that fascinates me.
what time is it there? Is it dark over there? Is the weather sunny over there? How are you over there?
do not know.
And I know you don't have me there.
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