Don't think you can look down on the child, maybe you need to be cured by her

August 2022-04-22 07:01:54

Text | Hulu Dad (ID: Hulupapalove)

Many people have read Heidi and consider it a great parenting book.

In fact, it is a book to educate adults.

Parenting is parenting.

If you don't educate yourself well, your child can't learn well.

The recently released "Heidi and Grandpa", co-produced by Germany, Switzerland and South Africa, highlights "Grandpa". The director also used grandpa and other characters who "need to be healed", with moving scenes, to explain this truth.

Heidi in the play is the youngest, everyone else is older than her and should be more mature, but it is not.

Most of them are pathological.

  • Heidi's aunt, philistine and rich. Although I worked hard with Heidi for a few years, I felt that I was young and could still gamble. I wanted to live in the city and live a better life, so I dumped Heidi to my grandfather, and later saw the "Princess" Clara. Needing the "business opportunity" of a female partner, he "sold" Heidi directly.

  • Heidi's grandfather, his wife and children are gone. He is called a strange old man. He is rumored to have killed people. He is too lazy to defend himself. recognize.

  • Shepherd, older than Heidi, like her brother. The purpose of helping sheep is to crave delicious food, and I don’t want to read characters well, so it’s useless to make excuses to read characters, so I don’t go to school. Wanting to play with Heidi, she was angry that Clara was occupying Heidi's time, and pushed her wheelchair down the cliff.

  • Clara, old enough to be Sister Heidi. Since the death of her mother, she has been extremely closed, unable to walk, and afraid of people and light.

  • Clara's father was so engrossed in his career that he seldom returned home. After Clara's mother left, he did not fully fulfill his father's responsibilities. He was afraid that his daughter would blame him, so he found a lot of people to serve her, but he didn't know what to do. The daughter built a "cage". In his world, perhaps money can exchange for many things. However, deep down in his heart, he knew that some things could not be exchanged. Therefore, he was very happy that Clara accepted Heidi, but later he was unwilling to let Heidi go, for fear that his daughter would not be able to bear it.

  • The female supervisor of the Clara family is strict and almost perverted. She has a very serious concept of hierarchy, looks down on the people in the village, and has some attempts to become a hostess.

Very few people are healers.

  • Heidi, the little angel who heals everyone's heart.

Even if the aunt put her in the grandfather whom she had never met, she never complained. She slept in the sheep shed, lived in the attic, and ran with the sheep herder. She melted the indifference of grandpa with the sunshine from her heart.

Grandpa made her a solid wood chair and recognized her status in this family. At that moment, she rushed to Grandpa excitedly and gave a big hug. It was also from then on that it was difficult for the grandfather and grandson to be separated again.

Later, Heidi was quietly taken away by her aunt and "sold" to Clara for company. Grandpa kept chasing, but did not catch up.

The innocent Heidi came to a completely unfamiliar "manor castle".

She healed Clara well and brought a smile to the pale girl's face, but it also sparked new contradictions.

She and Clara became inseparable friends, Clara could not be separated from her, and she was willing to be with Clara. But on the other hand, she still misses her grandfather, the shepherd's partner, and the flowers, plants and birds in the mountains, and wants to go back.

Therefore, even Heidi, who is as pure as water, is morbid.

She has two diseases.

One is a minor illness. Influenced by the shepherd, he is unwilling to "betray", so he does not want to read.

At this time, Clara's grandma played the role of a healing angel, guiding Heidi with a story book, and literacy was just a way to let herself know more stories.

As a result, Heidi made rapid progress and shocked the literacy teacher's jaw.

The other is a serious illness. Heidi misses her grandfather deeply, so she sleepwalks every night, opens the gate of the castle, and looks at her grandfather in the distance.

The family doctor who "catch the ghost" with Clara's father finds out the truth and recommends that Heidi be released.

After an ideological struggle, Clara's father let Heidi go back.

Heidi returned to the mountains and hugged her grandfather. At that moment, the whole world was moved by it.

  • Clara's grandmother. She is earnest and persuasive, and understands people's hearts, and guides Heidi to break through the barriers of learning words and cure her "psychological barriers". He also encouraged Clara to learn to forgive and let go, eliminate the estrangement with Heidi, and personally took Clara up the mountain to find Heidi to help her granddaughter achieve "the cage liberation".

  • Butler in Clara's house. He is conscientious, kind and honest, amiable, and helps Heidi silently, making people feel that it would be nice if Heidi's father had such an image.

Others are mostly indifferent and snobbish.

  • People in the small town, limited by their thoughts, love to talk about right and wrong, and spittle stars can drown people. Very snobbish, greedy for petty cheap, even Heidi will pick up the shoes that Heidi wears from the city. The priest's realm is higher, and his children must go to school, but his words are cold and unacceptable.

Each person's attitude towards children reflects several common intergenerational relationships and parenting concepts.

Away from, indifferent or even old and dead type.

Representative: Heidi's grandfather.

I don't look for you, you don't look for me either, live your own life. I raised my son purely to make him independent. As for his daughter, wife and sisters and other relatives, it is his own business and has nothing to do with me.

I am not home, I understand that I am indebted, I try to make up for it, but the more I make up, the more wrong I am.

Representative: Clara's father.

By making my family business bigger, I am responsible for my family. More and more to earn money at home, is the meaning of my existence. As for accompanying the child, that is the baby's mother's business. If one day she is gone, I will not be able to replace her.

Encourage leading type.

Representative: Clara's grandmother.

Children need guidance, and they need to follow the trend and guide them in an encouraging way.

So, when Clara's grandmother taught Heidi to read, she used stereograms combined with words to tell her stories. After that, I deliberately stopped, do you still want to hear it? Then why don't you learn the characters well and experience it yourself?

So, when grandma relieved Clara when Heidi left, she didn't blame her, but asked her slowly, you see Heidi still thinks of you, ask yourself, do you still blame her? If not, let's go find her.

What kind of intergenerational relationship should be maintained in today's family?

Judgment.

How to form an encouraging and guiding intergenerational relationship?

Become a "healing partner".

Obviously, although adults are more mature than children, because there are too many things in their hearts, what can stay is only what they think is correct, but it is often incorrect.

Therefore, Heidi's grandfather was cured by his granddaughter's innocence and sunshine, and he felt that what he left behind was no longer loneliness.

This can be called blood kinship, or "partnership".

Old friends, little friends, can't be separated again.

When the "family relationship" becomes a "partnership", it is really not far from a cure.

As parents, we always have a misunderstanding.

The child is small and does not understand anything. As adults, we must teach him well.

As everyone knows, everything has its opposite. If we think this is right, we must also be wrong.

As adults, although we are tall, we also have many selfish thoughts and self-righteousness.

When we fall into a state of clutter and ego, we actually grow upside down.

Therefore, we may really be inferior to children, and in turn need pure children to heal.

For example, Heidi, she even remembered that Grandma the Shepherd liked to eat soft bread, so she has been accumulating silently. She saw that the town was not indifferent, so she moved back to the town with her grandfather and integrated with everyone.

Don't underestimate this kind of healing, everyone needs healing.

When we are healed, we may be able to heal and guide them better.

People heal each other.

That is to say, true healing is neither you nor mine.

Everyone will have a knot, it depends on how you deal with it and whether you have met the right person.

Accompanying each other.

Clara's father has always been "self-righteous". Including being very dissatisfied with her daughter going to see Heidi in the mountains, and even starting to complain about her mother.

However, when he saw that his daughter could stand up tremblingly without a wheelchair, his complaints were swept away.

At that moment, he should have understood a truth. What he should give his daughter is not the "money" and so-called "noble" that can be exchanged for everything, but companionship and encouragement.

With these, no miracle is impossible.

Long Yingtai said that it is not difficult to see the world of children from the perspective of adults; what is rare is to squat down and see the world from the same height as children - we are the same life, we respect each other, and we grow together.

Therefore, the best way for us to get along with children is to learn to squat down instead of always standing and measure the height difference with him.

Be lenient.

Heidi has always been forgiving, Clara has not.

After Heidi left, Clara couldn't figure it out, she was desperate for a while, but then she slowly let go in Heidi's letter, and she chose to be tolerant.

Later, with the encouragement of Grandma "Angel", Clara embarked on a journey to meet Heidi in the mountains.

The two girls are happy together and have a good time.

And returning to nature also made Clara, the "castle cage" person, have blood on the face.

Among them, there is another bright spot. The shepherd ruined Clara's wheelchair because of jealousy. Heidi's grandfather guessed it, but he didn't beat him up like us. He chose to be tolerant and moderate.

This moderation allows the shepherd to play happily with Clara and Heidi. Later, she made Clara stand up by accident.

Therefore, from a certain point of view, there are several people who have cured Clara, Heidi is only one of them, the shepherd who has the opposite effect also has a small contribution, and the invisible "forgiving" grandfather is even more kind.

When we become the parents and elders of our children, how should we treat them?

The answer is not complicated.

We should become his "big partner", let him have his own "little partner" and grow up happily together.

This is the revelation brought to us by Heidi.

I also hope that we can truly appreciate and cherish the angel who came for you.

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