Young man, wake up.
The above hallucinations belong to straight men and straight women, and gay adolescence is not an emotional idol drama.
In my memory, in addition to confusion, it is more questioning and missing. When I was submerged in a group of boys discussing which girl in the next class went out of gym class, I pretended to laugh more, and then occasionally sneak a glance at you who never paid attention to me. In the race for island action movies to become boy-to-man milestones, I'm more of a questioning why girls' bodies don't fascinate me as much. But at that time, there was no awareness of sexual orientation. I only thought that boys like girls was a must-have multiple-choice question in adolescence, and it was only a matter of time to get excited.
So I waited, waited, waited for the embarrassment of being pulled out of bed by my mother in the morning, hiding a pillar of the sky, and waited for the anxiety of the first pimple crawling onto my forehead shamelessly. A small note, or a figure who made a detour home together after school with various idiot excuses.
Physical puberty is over, and I have gained nothing but body hair.
No one is born knowing that they are special. I don't know anything about sexuality, and no one tells me that boys are my thing. The default options in adolescence are male flirting and female fishing. So I also defaulted to my "straight" attribute. Adolescence has been a failure for me, because I missed the opportunity to grow together, the experiment of being familiar with my emotional minefield, and the growth of accumulated psychological maturity. I transitioned into the adult world physically, but mentally I was stuck in an amusement park.
For gays, psychological adolescence, unlike physical adolescence, comes a whole lot later than ordinary people. Some people start with the blush when they see a male star undressing for the first time, and some people take coming out of the closet as a starting point. The psychological roller coaster is even more turbulent, and there is no obvious path plan. But at this time, the people around me have already gone to KFC to buy desserts in pairs, and I have just been lined up at the entrance of the roller coaster, looking anxiously. I was like a schoolboy sitting in a university lecture hall. The most distressing thing is that the course of love is not impatient and can be caught up with hard work. The course of love takes time, opportunity, and waiting. I have waited for a puberty, how much I want to level up and keep all the misses into good ones. So the comrades went to the kidneys before they were distracted, and took off their clothes before holding hands. Not because of lewdness, but because of fear that he will not be able to keep up with the feelings of his peers.
I'm a whole puberty later than you, and my desire has suppressed a whole relationship than you. How can I catch up and catch up to be as complacent as you? How many skills on the road of love can be practiced in advance without actually falling in love? Are you not surprised? Or learn to cherish? I think what I can do is to open up my heart to love more, and experience life without fear of harm.
What to do, I feel so tired. I didn't have that advantage in my appearance, and I developed so much later than others. Could God give me the experience of being a winner in my life?!
Forgive me Father, I'm guilty of the deadliest sin. I'm human. How many Hail Marys is that?
- Boy Culture
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