2018.12.04
In a thoughtful and exquisite suit,
A witty face that can talk about everyone,
A vigorous posture of listening to songs, dancing, and kicking the ball,
The most enviable thing is - to have a Valentine's Day without a lover; listening to music, humming a little tune, sipping red wine at night; watching the stars with an astronomical telescope; playing around to find the highest post office in the world, in the thin air. Gao Feng wants to send a postcard to relatives and friends - such a romantic heart! How can this be the old life that an old man who has expired (102 years old) should have! Maybe it really only exists in movies .
A normal old age should only be like the centenarian's son (76 years old) in the film: he is sullen and boring; he is afraid of being alive, but also afraid of death; regular physical examinations (blood pressure, blood sugar, blood lipids); need a pharmacy Regular delivery of medicine; basically staying at home except for seeing a doctor; insomnia as soon as you leave the familiar environment and items; setting an alarm clock for bathing, posting a "turn off the faucet" reminder under the faucet, extremely conservative, and afraid of changing life status.
I think if we could choose life, everyone would want to choose the former. In this world, who is not happy to be able to walk freely and unrestrainedly? It’s just that we, who are in it, are so free and easy to face, it’s hard to face, it’s hard to let go, it’s hard to say goodbye, and it’s hard to give up love. It's hard to get rid of old cloth and new...
Movies are movies, after all, they are higher than life, but they also inspire life. In the film, the 102-year-old dad Dartley has both the soul of a 26-year-old and the wisdom and experience of a 102-year-old. He is guiding his 76-year-old son, Babu, to come out of the past step by step. Awakening from the pathetic and slightly morbid parent-child relationship revived his enthusiasm for life, which seemed to constantly prompt us to ponder, wake up, and make choices.
Ponder-
①Life
(This topic seems a bit "big"?)
This can be traced back to the last task in Dad Dutley's plan to transform his son Babu: "Dad's life is like a ball game. At the end of the game, I hope you whistle and have a perfect curtain call". (The film should refer to the football game)
Ball games - in the eyes of some people, it is wonderful, but there are also people who feel bored; some games will be very eye-catching, but there are also games that make you sleepy; people who play football enjoy the process, just watch People who are probably only slightly in love with one or two.
Life isn't like that. Everyone's wonderful life will only be presented in the eyes of some people (people who have similar values to you), and there will always be people who will point fingers at your life experience or find it boring; there are many wonderful peaks in life, but there are inevitable passages through them. Deep valley; you will enjoy your life (provided you are still "alive"), but few or almost no one will enjoy your life as much as you do!
But no matter whether your life is wonderful enough in the eyes of others, whether you have enough wonderful moments, whether you can find someone who fits your soul quite well and can enjoy your life with you, you should encourage With enough courage, go all out and run freely on the field. Because before the curtain call, you will have unlimited possibilities. And in your game, as long as you want, you will always be the winner.
②Love and personality independence
From the two-generation father-son relationship among the three grandfathers and grandsons, there are two different ways of love and education. We can easily say that, of course, a 102-year-old father loves his 76-year-old son more than his son loves that unfilial grandson. The love is healthier! Because our movie is like this, the result is also obvious. Although Babu has been a "living dead" for more than 20 years, he finally regained a healthy optimistic attitude under the training of his father Dutley. The unfilial grandson, Amo, was successfully "driven away" by his son as the old man wished!
However, the young bystander (a pharmacy worker who has a good relationship with his father, admires him very much and was invited by him to be a witness to his father's plan to transform his son) said "Do you think you are God?" ——It seems that he is also attacking Dad Dutley's education method: the reason why his son has developed such a cautious character is all because of his father's strength. Therefore, there is such a cycle - Datley's dominance makes his son Babu unable to have a sufficient independent personality, but to live with fear and fear every day, so Babu treats his son like a beggar begging for family affection, unconditionally Accept the hurt of your son's unreasonable demands and indifference. The grandson's lack of filial piety, selfishness and indifference are not only related to Babu's connivance, but the source of the blame may be that the father Datley had a problem first.
What you can see from Babu is not necessarily the style of an old-fashioned old man. From a certain angle, you can see a typical giant baby image: very dependent on old things, it can be said that he is very dependent on his father. When his father proposed to send him to a nursing home (this is a great anecdote in the show: Dad sent his son to a nursing home), he was very resistant, he worked hard for his son Amo for most of his life, but after he went abroad for Amo, he would only let himself Understand that he is busy and sad and sinking into a negative state, it is a proper psychological giant baby, yes!
Fortunately, the whole process of this film is about how Dad Dutley rebuilt his son Babu's independent personality. Dartley still played a perfect ball on the court before his death: let his beloved son Babu say goodbye to dependence, a life that is not very different from "The Walking Dead", and a goodbye to the one who only asks Unfilial grandson who doesn't know love.
So, on the question of educating children. Before giving a love, we must think deeply: Have you given the child an independent personality at the same time? And whether you have an independent personality (do not attach all of your own to the child) body) ? Or Gibran's poem:
"Your children are not your children.
They are the children born of life's longing for itself.
They came into this world through you, but not because of you.
They are with you, but they are not yours.
You can give them your love, not your thoughts,
Because they have their own ideas.
You can shelter their bodies, but not their souls;
Because their souls belong to tomorrow, a tomorrow that you can't even dream of.
You can do your best to be like them, but don't let them be like you;
Because life does not go backwards, nor does it stay in the past.
You are the bow, and the children are the arrows shot from you.
The archer looks at the target on the road ahead,
He pulls you away with all his might, making his arrows go fast and far.
Bend with joy in the hands of the archers,
Because he loves arrows that fly all the way, and bows that are very stable. "
wake up—
Be alert to one's identity as a child or grandchild. In fact, you can see a lot of his own shadow from the unfilial grandson Amo in the play. I don't know since when, home is like a hotel, except for sleeping at night, it seems that it is difficult to see me at home. The idea of "I want to move to a place far away from them to live alone" has been rolling back and forth in my mind for a long time. If I can get what I want, I believe that I will not go home for a long time like the grandson in the play.
In addition, "ungrateful" and the unfilial grandson in the play also seem to have some "similarities". When I was a child, my parents were away from home for many years due to work reasons, and when I was young, I was frail and sickly. Thanks to my grandmother's care to this day, I hurt my grandma, how much effort I spent, how much money I paid for my grandmother, and how much my grandmother never asked for in return. But I couldn't even take care of my grandmother who checked my blood sugar every week, and I was always tired of her asking me every detail on the phone. I don't understand her loneliness, I don't understand her pain, and I even get angry at her "stupidity" for the sake of my unfilial grandson.
I sincerely hope that after this drama slaps me with a loud slap, I can really be a little filial and not just talk about it.
choice-
Instructions are at the intersection. There are at least two or more roads.
There are two paths called gain and loss, and they seem to be out of your choice. You often walk on the road of gain, but you also often fall on the road of loss inadvertently. The lyrics sing, "Every time I cry, I run with a smile. While losing, I am looking for it." After countless gains in life, you must be prepared to lose at any time. But here are a lot of paths that you can choose, and that is how to deal with gain and loss.
① Dad Dutley's first task to his son Babu - to write a love letter to his deceased wife.
The son's initial choice was to close his heart and be an old man of the Buddhist system with no warmth and no life.
The way a father chooses for his son - the loss of his wife does not mean that life is only gloomy, as long as there is still concern in his heart, love is still there. As long as you can live, you must have rich emotions. So after provoking his son's anger at him, he nodded "he's excited" happily and satisfied!
② Dad Dutley's second task for his son Babu - to cut off the connection with the clinic where he goes to the doctor if he is sick or not.
The son's initial choice was: because of his wife's illness and his wife's departure, he was afraid that one day he would also leave like this, so he was often anxious about his own aging.
The way the father chooses for his son—although his body is getting older, but as long as he maintains a good mood and a little more childish willfulness, he still has a lot of expectations for the unknown, and he will only live younger and younger. Dad leads by example!
③ Dad Dutley's third task for his son Babu - to cut the 65-year-old blanket. (I will lose sleep without this blanket)
The son's initial choice was: reliance on the past → unable to let go, persistent, indulgent.
The path that the father chose for his son—complete the fourth task first—revisit the old places where he went with his father, his son, and his wife when he was a child. Revisiting the old place relieved him, allowing him to successfully return to complete the third task given by his father, and no longer be bound by the past. ④ Dad Dutley's fifth task for his son Babu - to make a pot of Clivia bloom immediately.
The son began to make his own choice that suits his father's wishes. In order to make his son happy, the father secretly cheated and replaced the flowering Clivia, and finally got a happy smile on his son's face.
⑤ And the sixth task is the most difficult - drive away his son Amo who has been looking forward to returning home for many years.
Of course Babu refused, and fiercely wanted to fight his father to the end, as if he swore to protect Amo well.
The father made various side-effects: the grandson’s mother never returned in the urn, countless letters only asking for money and asking for the son’s understanding everywhere, the old man calling the grandson, from no one answering the message to the grandson’s response when the old man mentioned the property. Seconds back... Still can't make Babu make up his mind.
In the end, my father had to tell Babu that he had a brain tumor and that his life would be very short. Only then did Babu wake up! Although his father had a brain tumor, he still had a young heart, and he was not sick but like a sick man. long time old man.
Walking on the road of losing, Datley taught Babu to choose to face life with a positive attitude! But Babu made a choice when he was forced to make a choice and finally made a choice spontaneously, which was full of this young man. The deep love of the old father Dutley!
There are many fork in the road in life, there are many choices, no matter what, there is a choice that will never be wrong——
Choose to live a good state of mind, live like a child, with light in your eyes and love in your heart!
Last but not least, I would like to make another comment. Although this movie is classified as a comedy, it really has very few laughs and tears. What reminds people is when his father, Dutley, was watching TV. When Chaplin's mime was broadcast, that short paragraph may remind us that this is a movie with tears in laughter, but there are really not many laughs and tears? But, it is still accurate. hit the heart. Sure enough, it's the Indian movie you're looking forward to☺️
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