These various children in the movie, the bully and the bullied, no one is more cute and no one is more hateful. From my mother's point of view, they are all the same, equally lonely and helpless. At the beginning of the plot, I really wanted to see what the parents of these children were like, and they were all as expected. Although this is not the point of the film, it is the point that I am most concerned about.
The contrast between Wei Lai's angelic face and anti-social personality, I don't feel disgusted, Xiaobei and Niannian, I told my friends that such kind children, we must believe that they will never kill people. Before adulthood, all the problems of the child are the problems of the parents.
The biggest difference in the behavior of Wei Lai and Xiao Bei Nian Nian in the movie comes from their empathy. This is one of the most deficient things I can see in our present-day parenting.
Where does this empathy manifest itself? I will name a few columns.
You can't trample the lawn at will to abuse small animals, because they are all life and will feel pain, not because the security uncle will come to catch you.
Items in the store should be handled with care or not touched, because it belongs to the store and the people who will buy them in the future, we can't destroy other people's things, not because the mall aunt in red will swear at people.
Do not move his toys without the consent of other children. Because you will be sad when someone else grabs a toy, and he, like you, will be sad.
If you don't litter, you will not be locked up by the police because you throw it away, but you will have a hard time looking at the cleaning workers who bend over to clean every day.
Replace "Why are you so disobedient?", "Why can't you xxx like other kids", "I won't buy you anything if you don't do this" with "I understand how you feel", "I believe You are a kind/hardworking/xxx child", "How about we try to deal with it in a different way?".
When you see beggars, cleaners, and laborers on the street, you should never say, "If you don't study hard, you will be like them in the future." The best option for them."
"Mom, why do other people cross the road without waiting for the green light?" "Because they may be in a hurry, they may not notice the change of traffic lights, and they may not understand traffic laws, but we understand, don't run red lights, it is very dangerous. "
"Mom, why did that little kid grab my toys without my consent?" "Maybe he really likes your toys, but when he is in a hurry, he forgets the correct expression. He can actually discuss it with you. I'm sure you will agree."
"Mom, people who lie will be arrested by the police uncle, right?" "The police uncle is responsible for protecting our safety. Children who lie will not be caught by the police uncle unless they break the law." "Then what will happen to you if I lie? "I'll never trust you again, I'll be sad, and I'll review it. It's because I didn't give you the right education that you lied out of fear of being scolded."
I can cite many, many examples of this. Empathy education can find opportunities in life every minute and every second. It depends on whether we are willing or not. Always have a principle, do anything or do nothing, and the starting point is the same. for yourself, not for others.
Those parents who are unwilling to do it, or simply won't watch these movies and these words, and their children have shown the tendency of anti-social personality, they are by our side, what should we do? There is only one principle, infinite distance.
So what if we don't know if a child is being bullied at school?
The last time I watched "The Lion King" with my four-year-old child, I saw the scene when Simba blamed himself for his father's death and then ran away. A father was telling his children to be brave, strong and responsible. . I don't know why I suddenly didn't want my little friend to hear this, so I hugged him tightly and told him, you must remember that no matter what happens to you, even if you do something wrong, you will always be there. You don't need to run away alone, you can always go home, and I will definitely face it, bear it, and make up for it with you.
There is nothing wrong with what this dad does. Maybe his child has reached the age where he needs to establish this kind of thinking. I didn't think about it. Black and white is not my original intention to write this. I just saw that Simba. Dying back, I felt I had to give my child a hug.
Let the child know that he is not alone in the world, that his joys, sorrows and sorrows are shared, and that family members are full of trust and safety. This is what we lacked when we were young, but it was also what we needed. If you are bullied and don’t tell the teacher, don’t tell the parents, don’t tell the police, it may not be because they are really afraid of retribution, but they feel that it is useless, no one will believe that there is no one to help, most adults think that children It's all big shit.
Most of our parents and ourselves grew up savagely like Niannian and Xiaobei. Many people like to say that we all survived like this at that time, and it was not bad.
No, it can't be like this anymore in our generation. Because we have read books, seen the world, and have different perspectives and standpoints, this is both a convenience and a responsibility bestowed upon us by the times. Wei Lai's pain, Xiaobei's pain, Chen Nian's pain, and every child's growing pains are all things that parents can help them resolve and teach them how to resolve themselves during childhood.
We bring life, we are responsible to the end. And educating children well is actually not for others, but for our own less worry and less trouble. It's also to make oneself grow again.
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