I cannot help it...

Giovani 2022-04-21 09:03:22

When was your first time experiencing a child? My first time happened when I was 12 years old and felt like being a little bit older than children. At that time, a girl who lived just several meters away often visited my home. I had to say that whenever she came, I wanted to go out. She was loud and always asked for candy. It was one time that I refused to open the candy box for her, she jumped at me and scratched me. I cannot fight back, since I was afraid that I might end up hurting her. She was 5 years younger than me. Her finger nails were small and my arms ended up bleeding.




This may sound pathetic, but when was your first time experiencing being a child? My first time was when I was 5 years old. My brother and sister wanted to watch a movie and they didn't want to bring me. According to them, I can never sit still during a movie and I always jumped around. I truly wanted to go with them, so when they went out, I tried to follow. But they walked so fast and eventually they disappeared. I had to return home. I was heartbroken and felt like being trapped in a little body that didn't belong to me.




Due to my negative experiences, the notion childhood remained a mystery to me. Do children all feel like a prisoner in that little body and are we all afraid to set them free? If you ever had such a question, you should watch "Phoebe in Wonderland".




There are many reasons that this movie would stay very long in my memory. First, the acting in this movie is transcendent. All the actors and actresses were so devoted to their roles and they would bring tears to your eyes. Second, the story is philosophical and all the characters are sophisticated. You can experience their depth of thinking and passion. Third, there are many things debatable in this movie and it would keep you wondering for a while, which was a good thing for me.




Don't want to make this review a spoiler. But I still hope to give you a basic idea about this movie. It is a story about a little girl at age 11. She first appeared as a normal child, who was spontaneous and intelligent . As we all hate school, you may find that her frustrating experiences in school are quite normal. Later, she was fascinated by her new drama teacher, and tried VERY HARD to get a role in a play. The rest of the story was about how hard she tried to stay in that play.




Because she tried too hard, they found a neurological explanation for her devotion. I always had a mixed feeling about neurological explanations for behavioral problems. I liked them, since it gave me a peaceful mind. They made behavioral problems understandable, and you know people who had those problems just "CANNOT HELP IT". On the other hands, I feared those answers. If a problem of a person is caused by neurological disorders, does this mean that this person can never correct his problems, and he doesn't have to deal with it? Instead, as a society, we have to deal with it? If we have to deal with it, will we make this type of person collectively suffer by never treating them like a normal being? By the way, what exactly is a normal being? Didn't we all secretly wish to be a little bit abnormal or special?




The movie could be considered as being ended too soon, if you wanted to know more about the implications of being a person with neurological disorders. To me, it ended at a perfect time, when story healed my nearly broken heart. If it lasted longer , my heart would break again. But it is such a wonderful movie, I would watch it again even I knew my tears would run out and my heart would break….

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Extended Reading

Phoebe in Wonderland quotes

  • Phoebe: I can see myself wrecking and ruining. But I can't stop myself.

  • Olivia Lichten: [Halloween 'costumed' as Karl Marx] How come no one knows who I am?

    Hillary Lichten: It's esoteric, sweetie.

    Peter Lichten: You're very original. Now, go try this other house. Don't let the poppies put you to sleep.