I'm used to appreciating others from a distance, or, watching a group from a distance. I never expected myself to be truly happy with someone.
This detached atmosphere allowed me to find a little happiness that only belongs to my own person. Listening to the lively chats of others, I can find some bizarre questions and all the answers I want; under the blurred light of KTV, I can indulge my soul freely, floating freely between music and emotions; I can pretend Zuo looks like nothing has happened, passing the frowns and smiles of others in a trance, and then speculates some inexplicable emotions... I will try my best to create a crystal clear space in the emotional world and the real world. Here, only the happiness and loneliness that belong to me are accommodated.
I'm probably very similar to Leyla in some places - there are so many strange little factors that live in me that add to and subtract from each other wonderfully, making it difficult for me to locate some of the vague emotions in the world. So, I resolutely chose silence. Such a state may exist in everyone's life, but some people are lucky enough to find a soul mate who opens their hearts, while others find the precious key single-handedly. Leyla is very fortunate in this regard - her soul is destined to find the most suitable habitat when her words are read by the strong and energetic Tala.
It is an exchange of emotion and soul between two women. When the lips of rose petals swim on the smooth skin, a heart that cannot belong has stopped wandering since then. I love Leyla's stubborn eyes and casual way of life, the way she's wearing a baseball cap and holding a pen has become another footnote that touches my heart. I suddenly remembered An Yiru's words on Weibo, "I thought about it, I thought about it, I decided to go to Hangzhou in April, go to Aman for a tea, and then go back to Beijing to listen to the piano. Okay. Come on, that's it!" This is the lonely but not lonely writers exiling their hearts, just like flying a kite in the April sky, slowly setting it up, and when it gets higher and higher, Then gently loosen the thread in your hand. I like this way of living, so I envy Leyla's clumsy but hidden graceful dance steps, and I envy her even more when she sits crooked on the stairs and opens the letters Tala sent her. In fact, there is no right or wrong in life. What we urgently need is to find a way of living that is most suitable for us.
On the evening of the 8th, a group of colleagues and I went to the university campus after a long absence. When I was sitting in the car, the spring breeze blew my face, brushing the hair beside my ears, strands, strands. But my heart is like still water. It seems to me that the changed campus has never belonged to me, as if there is no trace of me left in its time and space. The footsteps are broken, as if lingering in the world of others. Maybe I am forgetful, maybe I still belong to the emotionally indifferent group, maybe I am not so lucky, and I have successfully found the key that suits me.
For a split second, I was reminded of Lisa's Isabella Butterfly.
I have always envied children, there are so many curiosity protecting their souls, it is pure like ice.
"Why do chickens lay eggs? Because eggs become chickens. Why do couples kiss? Because doves coo. Why do pretty flowers wither? Because that's part of the game. Why is there a devil and a god? Yes Just for the curious to have something to say.…Did you like our trip? Very much. We saw a lot of beautiful things, didn’t we? Too bad I didn’t get to see the crickets. Why crickets? And dragonflies.… ...why do our hearts tick? Because the rain makes a patter It's warm. Why is there a devil and a god? It's for the curious to have something to say."
Perhaps, if you really don't need to grow up, there will be less troubles, and people will not beg for warmth in indifference and struggle to find independence in sticky emotional entanglements.
View more about I Can't Think Straight reviews
