There is a heart-wrenching feeling, is this a doomed tragedy?
Just like my feelings for you... the
untouchable you have long stopped in my heart.
I turned 45° left today and saw you, I don't know whether to be happy or to stop myself.
Because I stayed at home for 30 days, I thought I could calm down, I thought that when I saw you, my heart wouldn't be turbulent again, I thought I could let it go. All the persistence fell apart the moment I saw you. Repeatedly persuaded myself to give up, I told myself that he did not have me in his heart at all, but even I was surprised by my stubbornness this time. Even, I think, as long as I watch him silently in a corner, I will not be sad if he is happy. However, this made me even more unable to extricate myself. I couldn't hold back my sadness, and I began to escape.
I used to think I was special to him. But when he started not texting me, not asking me out to play, not asking me about my math homework, and when I was invisible when I was online, I felt so scary. Is it because of the accident that day? Let him have reservations about me or keep his distance from me. From the beginning, maybe I was just one-sided...
The idiom of karma was known to me when I was 5 years old, and it was only when I was 17 years old that I realized it deeply. After hurting many people's feelings, I met you. I thought that after meeting you, I was happy, at least that kind of missing was sweet. But it was also the second year that I met, and I had to experience the pain of forgetting your struggles.
On Valentine’s Day this year, I was forced to drink some wine. At that time, I had a strong urge to tell you how I felt, but I didn’t dare. I’m afraid that after I said it, I wouldn’t even talk to you if I pretended to be okay. That's it. I can't bear that kind of ending.
I really want to find someone to talk about my struggles, but now the friends around me either have girlfriends or don't want to listen to me. Maybe I should keep silent, to the people around me, to him.
View more about Il Mare reviews
