The recently aired TV series "Everything Is Good" has sparked heated discussions with its in-depth portrayal of family issues. The unequal and even discriminatory treatment of the three sisters at home has touched the hearts of many viewers. . Blood makes us a family and a warm harbor for each other, but at the same time, blood also gives us reasons to hurt each other. Those stings and serious injuries to each other are bound to accompany us all our lives.
This reminds me of the more important issue that the director tried to discuss in "The Thief's Family". The Shibata family took away Lily, who suffered domestic violence. Although they were not a family, their encounter with each other was even more important. Cherish this relationship, and Lily's family will only yell at her and even beat her.
No one wants you to give birth to me. This seems to be a very unconscionable sentence, but it must be something that many people want to say but dare not say. Because they are a family, parents can beat themselves up, and they can speak ill of each other without thinking. No matter how much damage this has done to the child's psychology, as long as you add "this is for your own good", you can take everything away.
But can everything really be taken away so easily? This year's Oscar nominee for Best Feature Documentary, "Skateboard Boy", directed by Asian director Liu Bing, focuses on topics related to the family of origin. This film records the twelve-year friendship and skateboarding experience between himself and his friends Keire and Zack from the perspective of Liu Bing.
As the director himself said, the story about skateboarding cannot end with skateboarding. When we go deep into the lives of the three protagonists, the audience will find that, in fact, what this film wants to discuss is far more than the confusion and madness of youth, but the wounds that each of us cannot erase.
Life outside of skateboarding
In the film, the director constantly cross-edits footage of himself, keire and zack skateboarding with each person's life and interviews. When they were skateboarding, they were all rebellious boys who sweated freely, but the reality was so hard and unbearable. Following the video, the first thing we see is the story about Zack. From the ruffian boy smoking marijuana to marrying and having a child with his girlfriend Nina, everything seems to be going well, but what follows is the relationship between the two quarrel. No one is born to be a parent, let alone when he is a child.
Zack and Nina may have never thought that their married life would be such a torment to each other. When Nina was working outside and couldn't take care of things at home, Zack would naturally express his dissatisfaction, and the communication between the two with negative emotions became Quarrel again and again, until finally exhausted their love for each other.
Finally, during a quarrel one day, Zack had a big fight with Nina, and the two went to break up. But what is surprising is that when the two are not together, the occasional meeting is very easy. Without the trivialities of life, everything becomes very simple. They can joke with each other and completely forget the past. back.
It's like in "Rick and Morty", when Rick and his old lover met after a long time, they were extremely happy at first, but over time it became a consumption for each other, just like Rick's Like the lover said, we can never change each other, such a relationship will only destroy us.
When facing Liu Bing's camera, Zack always put on a relaxed look. He said he didn't want to be defined and wanted to live his life, but in fact it was just a cover up. When Zack left his hometown, left his wife and children to live elsewhere, and found a new girlfriend, it seemed that everything had ushered in a new life, but all this was just an escape. At the end of Zack's story, he finally couldn't hold back. The uncontrollable crying by the river showed us the real side of Zack. His heart is not as strong as the surface, even if he can keep making excuses for himself, But in the end it was still tormented.
For Keire, I believe you will be moved by his warm smile after watching it. As a representative of the black community, Keire suffered a lot of bullying from his peers when he was a child. For him, the only solace in life is skateboarding. Keire's experience was like the youth we all had. He didn't know what to do or what to pursue, but he knew in his heart that it was time to go out.
The audience follows Keire to experience his life. The shadow of childhood is his lingering pain, and his lack of self-confidence and introversion also stem from this. When friends watched a video of a black man being shot, Keire was also laughing, but we could see a hint of bitterness in his expression. Sometimes we have to disguise ourselves. Even if we are in a relatively safe environment, we cannot let ourselves lose our temper, but try to control ourselves as much as possible. In the beginning, this is a kind of self-cultivation, but over time, it is the suppression of ourselves.
From washing dishes in a restaurant to directly contacting customers as a waiter, Keire's change is remarkable. He has become more cheerful and active. Everyone wants to be needed and to realize self-worth. Although Keire has always been in social stratification The lower end, but he always smiled and faced everything in life. Just like the skateboard under his feet, there will be potholes and flat ground, and if you fall, you can stand up again.
Obviously, as the photographer of the documentary, Liu Bing did not hide himself behind the camera, but exposed himself to the camera and became part of the story. This is a self-healing journey. With Liu Bing's lens, he not only takes care of us in the present, but also points the camera to the past.
Trauma in the family of origin
The story drawn from Liu Bing's point of view is another key discussion in this film, which is the childhood past related to "domestic violence". In the film, Liu Bing has the courage to turn the camera to his mother and brother, and through interviews with them piece together those little-known stories about his childhood.
Liu Bing moved to Rockford with her mother when she was a child, and her mother met her future stepfather here, and this was the beginning of the tragedy. The stepfather's naturally violent personality made him beat Liu Bing at every turn after marrying his mother. Liu Bing, who was still a child, naturally had no way to resist. What's even more sad is that Liu Bing's brother and mother either stood by or did not know about all this. Affection.
Just like his two friends, for Liu Bing, skateboarding is also his spiritual sustenance. Only on the skateboard can he be free. Those hard years must have been suffocating and hopeless.
The passage in the film that touched the author deeply is the part of Liu Bing's interview with his mother. When Liu Bing asked her mother if she knew about her past being beaten, her mother's answer was ambiguous, but how could she not know. My mother's answer was so real that it was impossible to look directly at me. I also hope that someone will accompany me. Even if I am a little wronged, there is always someone to accompany me. At this moment, we seem to understand something. What people fear most is loneliness. No matter how strong you are, you will never be able to withstand a person's sorrow.
From here, the contradictions between Keire and Zack and their families of origin are also revealed little by little. Keire's father's so-called "strict discipline" created a deep estrangement between him and his father, and even the last words he said to his father when he fled home were "I hate you". I'm doing it for your own good, so I'm going to hit you. How rascal and illogical is this sentence? What an incompetent idea that resorting to violence is a loving education for children? We don't know how much of Keire's lack of self-confidence, sensitivity and even vulnerability came from his father's beatings and abuse, but it must have planted a ticking time bomb in the child's young mind.
The hatred that had been deposited for many years, with the passing of Keire's father, became a thing of the past. When Keire went to his father's grave to hug and cry, we know that he finally reached some kind of reconciliation with his father, but sadly, when Keire finally let go, he was already separated from his father.
For Zack, he has always tried to avoid the problem of his family of origin. Although he has also revealed his experience of being beaten, he always says that it should be normal. Come to think of it, when do we say it’s actually normal, mostly when we’re struggling to rationalize sad memories when we can’t accept it.
The marriage of Zack and Nina just shows the impact and damage of Zack's original family on him. He doesn't know how to get along with his wife, and he doesn't know how to be a good father. This 16-year-old young man who ran away from home because he couldn't bear his family, When he became a father, he was overwhelmed. He wanted the warmth of the family, but once he got close, he didn't know how to get along with it.
When we see Zack and Nina's very different memories of what happened, no matter what the truth is, Zack must have done it, he's angry, surrounded by insecurities, he may still love Nina, but he doesn't know how to love. Nina told Liu Bing in an interview that she and Zack were rarely hugged when they were together. She didn't know the correct way to get along as a family. It was like a reincarnation. Zack's broken childhood family continued to himself, even if he tried hard It is impossible to completely withdraw even in avoidance.
end
Everyone is more or less trapped by the shadows of childhood and by the reality they are in. The key lies in how we reconcile with ourselves. After watching "Skateboard Boy", I have a lot of thoughts. This is not only a simple documentary, but a psychological treatment for myself and friends. It is not so intense, but it is enough to hit your heart.
At the end of the film, Keire drove his car and left Rockford facing the rising sun. There will still be ups and downs in the future, but we must be strong and have hope. When we look at Keire, we are actually looking at ourselves, reconciling with ourselves and breaking the sorrow of those reincarnations. This process may be painful, but after the pain, it must be a sunny tomorrow.
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