the / tired dead monkeys
"Once, I was a sister."
The following is the script I adapted from my sickness because I was so idle. The first opening remarks read in a voice full of vicissitudes of life. Because at this time, due to her "attempted suicide" decades ago, she has quietly grown to the age of the female gatekeeper in the film, and the story of the female gatekeeper and Mr. Ozu's death has long been adapted by her because of forgetfulness and self-suggestion. different versions. The version shown in the original film is probably just her memories when she was around 20 years old, but what makes an old fetish like me really curious enough to want to rewrite it is the version of her memories when she was in her 40s, or even in her 60s. In order to take care of the understanding of most domestic audiences, the opening line, which should have a Shanghai accent but must be in Mandarin, needs to be read as "Old, I'm like a girl".
1. Hedgehogs are by no means cold. Cultivation requires the next generation.
Some people say that hedgehogs are cold animals. I can't think of any other explanation for this non-existent remark, except for obscenity. Hedgehog's unapproachable appearance brings some kind of metaphor. , does it really give some kind of satisfaction to those self-inflicted guys. I see it hard. She has no intentions of this world, and any reward given by life makes her feel that it is a waste to use it on herself, but she is absolutely restrained and forbearing, and she will never be like a literary youth who has been blackened for a long time: all day long I clamored for myself to become a better person, but once I encountered the real thing, I clamored in turn, don’t talk to me about social responsibility, I can’t even solve my own problems. Yes, we have all the brain cells that we spend on calculating the M-value of the dynamic zone and the number of credit card rebates on weekdays, and we can't imagine that such two women, the old and the young, who hardly have any problems we can imagine actually exist in the world. Let me ask, what exactly is the metaphor that a hedgehog might bring to such a person of two generations, one old and one young?
The old doorman not only has a spiritual world that a quasi-manual worker should not have, which is enough to make the residents in the building guarded to die ashamed, but also has a sense of proportion that is equally difficult to refine, to cover up her spiritual world too much to keep the building. The occupants are waiting to die in peace. In the face of such a realm that those of us who can't even afford a building can't imagine, if I meet God himself, I will definitely put my own well-being out of consideration and arrange for her a blue-eyed confidant to live in the same building. , Occasionally catch a glimpse of all her elegance, eat, drink, watch movies together, and believe that love has God's will. This person is best to be an old Japanese guest who understands the classics of tea ceremony and Tchaikov. The self-portrait master's novel is not only high in IQ and EQ, but also can capture the details of the dating between the famous old lady and the suspected descendant of Ozu in just a few words. The little girl can evaluate the old lady at will, but the old lady can only do small movements behind the camera and doors and windows as the observed object. In the face of all kinds of tricks and tricks of Xiaodaren, if the old guard who has come here for a long time can say "don't look at today's hilarity", who knows that Mr. Ozu will not say "be careful to pull Qingdan tomorrow". It is meaningless to entangle the issue of perspective, but no matter in which person the novel is developed, the original film has already lost to the adaptation in many parts of the structure.
2. If you love me, I will kill you
. Teacher Cui always said: Everyone will have their own good days and auspicious days. But the implication is obviously to emphasize a truth: bad years often happen, but auspicious days rarely happen. Therefore, although there are auspicious days, in this film, you may not be able to endure it as a gatekeeper.
With the heart of a nerd and a young man, if the old concierge downstairs in my house sees Tolstoy, she must only come from the fantasy of a young man. Ever since I knew that people in the era I lived in needed to live in a house, the various buildings and halls in the compound that I lived in, even if I didn’t pass by for one or two nights, go to the top of the boarding house, it should not be more than 100, really. If you have direct communication with the doorman, you can think of two digits even if you don’t have two digits. Although the proportion is so pitiful that it is negligible in such a big environment as the whole country and the world, there is no reason to say that the doorman in French movies is the doorman. , the live guards I've seen can be ignored? The fun of the live guards I have been in touch with is precisely that the owners are short-suffering from the west, and whoever moves in has what kind of belongings, and whoever moves away throws shrimps and stuff, and it’s raining, playing chess, and going to get off work in the next century. Have fun in it, never get tired of it, and have endless fun.
When I say this, I don't mean to belittle the doorman, and the image of a doorman who has no brains to provoke the residents will never be a specimen of the doorman. As a doorman, she gave her life-long free time to a writer, several famous novels, whether it is an overly loving literary fantasy, just look at that Mimi named Karenina. , and what is the cousin's name, what is the name of Lev's Mimi, if a person really has the determination to implement the great seclusion in the concierge, how can he give his cat such a name, and let the foreigner who just moved in with him? It seems that the organization sent it to pick up the head? Maybe Miss Honey was secretly looking forward to something, maybe it was just waiting for Mr. Ozu, waiting for him in the boundless wilderness, neither earlier nor later, just happened to meet her? There is nothing else to say, but to ask softly, oh, do you read famous books too? In the adaptation of the plot, Mr. Ozu thought that the Heavenly King Covering the Earth Tiger would make the Pagoda Town River Demon, which has been buried for many years, come out, but he did not expect that as a hedgehog-type character, he did not show any class friendship in the face of the sudden password, but just Shrinking into a ball, revealing a thorn in the back that has been honed for many years, he shouted in a muffled voice: "I will poke, I will prick, I will prick!"
If the Japanese old Kele and the French milf can be believed and moved by Tolstoy's secret code, why is the above adaptation not the preferred plot that is more worthy of description and belief?
3. Drunk laughter accompany you for 30,000 games, no need to complain.
What I can't figure out is not worth mentioning. If a hedgehog is good, why should it be translated as "elegant"? There is not a hedgehog in the whole film, and the cats have a lot of scenes. It is like meeting a famous book against a secret code, shitting a famous song as an accompaniment, as long as it is an element that can be explained by the word "elegance", there is one in the film. use one. Cats are yin-qi, curious, and show a solemn and playful calm temperament in every gesture. So pleasing, how can it be missing under the elegant entry? But the original book is called Hedgehog, so it's not good to turn it into an elegant tit just because the cat looks elegant. Domestic films have no future, and domestic translations are following closely. For the sake of the domestic movie fans in Bo, I have the thief to adapt this film, but in view of the serious domestic piracy, I can only reveal two key lines of this film for readers.
The ad is over, the sun is shining, the old lady can't hold back the grace in her heart, and wants to read another paragraph of Karenina's monologue, medium shot tweet close-up, when she fumbles to put on her glasses, flips over to the place, and prepares to put her mouth down , there was a counterattack, and a little girl who was peeping outside the door flashed by, her thumb and forefinger trembled in coordination with the book, and blurted out the inscription line of the adapted version of the film: Once, I was a sister-in-law .
The little girl suddenly glowed high and threw herself into life. No matter how time flies, she took a burst of superposition and ran to decades later, turning the book to the same page with the same gesture, with the same scene and trembling. Facing the camera, I replied: When I grow up, I will become you.
4. I deal with me for a long time, rather be me!
Why she didn't choose to commit suicide is not because her blood has died, not to read this line, nor because of her constantly refreshing concept of absurdity, love, or elegance and other unintelligible words. She keeps a cat every ten years or so, some of them die of old age, and most of them run away without any reason. She had a child and had an abortion for a shaggy-haired boyfriend, and her new line is: It's not what you do that matters, it's what you do is useless. What can a person who doesn't want to do anything do? Because even if you are a waste, a dead person, or a girl, you still do it. After saying these words, she felt that what she really wanted to say hadn't been said yet. At this moment, she thought, maybe I would need a toilet that can put Tchaikov, maybe a Japanese gentleman with a bow tie, I would also need it Yes, maybe a little smart with a camera, I will also need it. Thinking of this, she found that she was already eighty years old, and everything she thought about would be rethought many times within a year, and all the content she had thought about had not been updated for nearly ten years. Five or six, Tolstoy's thick novels were actually mixed up with Dostoevsky's plot, which was the only thing she decided not to forgive herself until she died.
(Contributed by the media)
ps: This article is written for free in order to support Aunt Shang's publication in the Tsinghua Film Journal.
Another: I would like to give this document to Aunt Shang and Ding Yi, wishing Qiu Noi a long life, not sluggish when young, and not bald when old.
Also: In response to the request of the detainee, this sharp article is temporarily deleted, and it will be seen on the Internet at the end of October. Please understand.
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