first time I saw it, Fox lent me.
Even now it’s the second time I watch it, I feel It's still the same, it's not a bit different...but it's more profound.
Ashamed, sigh, ashamed... (but didn't mean to emulate), sad, sad, helpless...
Actually, I understand her Feeling. It’s really the kind that
I understand. I’m the same as her, in some ways. But she’s more serious than me.
Maybe my courage is not enough for her, maybe my pain is not as painful as her, maybe I am more mature and restrained than my peers, so I am easier to control, tolerate, and rational...probably...probably...
indeed, I am like her. I can also abuse myself, but not cut. All I can do is to bite...bite my hand...
until I feel the muscles will be torn and the physical pain slightly numbs the mental pain, and then I relax. Turning around and biting other places.
So so..
Forget about when I started like this. The one with little memory is the first year of high school.
However, forgetting does not mean that it does not exist.
I feel very sad to see the scene of her self-abuse. I am also very sad. The pain is like a knife falling on my left hand, truly and deeply. Every cell is suffocated for a few seconds.
Because I understand that I don’t know what day I will be Picking up the blade like she did, cut it off fiercely, seeking relief from extremes.
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