Uncle Cage's midlife crisis

Kole 2022-01-01 08:02:38

In recent years, Uncle Cage seems to like to play films with the word man in the title, such as The Family Man, Matchstick Men, and The Weather Man, and almost all have something to do with the middle-age crisis, so I entered menopause early People like to watch his films. But in this The Wicker Man, there is a little girl with evil eyes on the DVD cover, making my hair scared after watching the scene of sawing people like a hairy crab. Fortunately, yesterday I saw someone's blog saying that this is a bad film, and finally I got the courage to watch this film. Is it a remake of the film, or only after watching it.

The plot is not difficult to understand: Edward Malus, the policeman played by Uncle Cage, encountered a mother and daughter in a car accident on the highway, but failed to rescue them. From then on, he left a shadow in his heart. The illusion of a car accident. At this time, Willow, who abandoned his mysteriously missing fiancée N years ago, wrote a letter from a small island saying that their daughter Rowan (who was hiding to give birth to birds) had disappeared, and "begged" him to go to a small island. Help find the child. After complicated thought activities (anger to Willow leaving without saying goodbye, blood kinship to Rowan, regret and unwillingness to the last time he failed to save a little girl as old as Rowan in a burning car...), he set off. That mysterious island is the hometown of Willow. The island is a matrilineal society. Most of the residents are women, and the men only work and don't speak (the pigs can go up the trees!). During Edward's hysterical investigation, he discovered that the women on this island are very strange, and are commensurate with sisters, and believe in a cult that uses barbecued living people as sacrifices. Willow seems unspeakable. Others claim that Rowan does not exist at all. Honey, the waitress of the hotel, wants him to take her away. Large areas of the island are plowed into beehives, and bees are raised everywhere (typical matriarchal society, this At that time, I started to guess the ending bird...), and there was no phone on the island, and no cell phone signal (who told him not to use Unicom!). After a series of bluffing horror scenes and futile investigations, Edward was convinced that Rowan was hidden by the island’s "queen", a very elegant old woman and his party members, and prepared to be burned to death at the sacrifice (while other earthlings in his Basically know all these birds 10 minutes after arriving on the island). So he put on a bear suit and went into the ceremony, and he found Rowan tied to a tree. He desperately grabbed Rowan and ran up the mountain. Unexpectedly, the little girl ran faster than him, and brought him back to the sacrifice scene like Wang Erxiao. Then, as I expected, Willow-who turned out to be the daughter of the "Queen" to make trouble-deliberately used Rowan's disappearance to trick Edward into coming to the island as a sacrifice for their "clan" annual rituals-one on the island. Women are related to men. The poor Edward collapsed bird was placed on the top of a tall wicker human-shaped shelf, and was burned alive along with other animals (presumably male). It is his daughter Rowan, who has ignited the wicker man, who is not afraid of hardships and obstacles.

This story tells the puppets:

1. Good horses don't eat grass, especially if they bring them to the door.
2. Zhang Wuji's mother was right-the more beautiful a woman, the more deceitful she is.
3. When you want to save the world, think about whether you are the one who needs to be saved.
4. Sometimes love and family affection are hard to resist fallacies and fallacies.
5. Mysterious islands are generally not a good place to go, see Lost.
6. Although Uncle Cage still has sharp eyes, it is more suitable to play a man who is in a middle-aged crisis.

Other fans told me (Source: IMDb):

Wicker Man is the worst movie I've seen this year. Maybe even in two years. I wish I could ask the theater for my money back or turn back time to warn myself not to see it.

Do not go see this flick. Or even rent it on DVD.

What makes this moive so bad?????

Does anybody else think Hollywood has run out of ideas?

View more about The Wicker Man reviews

Extended Reading
  • Julian 2022-01-01 08:02:38

    Watch all night in Internet cafes~ The ending is reincarnation again~

  • Lelia 2022-04-21 09:02:43

    I’ve been wanting to watch it for a long time, so I decided to pick Cage’s version first. Although I heard that this version is bad, I think it’s alright. The main thing is that the story itself is scary enough. edition

The Wicker Man quotes

  • Edward Malus: [squeezing out the last remnants of a honey bottle] Why do you have store-bought? I thought you made the stuff here.

    Sister Honey: Look, I just serve what I'm handed. If you don't like it, you'll have to talk to Sister Beech, all right?

    Edward Malus: What's with this "Sister" thing, anyway?

    Sister Honey: It's just our way. We don't have any royal honey for you.

    Edward Malus: None at all?

    Sister Honey: No, not a drop. Our crop was cursed last year. I might find you a little bit of sugar.

  • Sister Beech: This here is mead. It's one of the pleasures of our island. A brew of honey, herbs... and whatnot.

    Edward Malus: [sniffing it] Thanks.

    [taking a sip]

    Edward Malus: Yeah.

    [taking another long gulp]

    Edward Malus: I think you ought to know...

    [pounding the bartop with his badge to get everyone's attention]

    Edward Malus: I think you all should know that I'm here on business. This is official police business, and I want to speak to each one of you at some point.

    Sister Beech: Official California business, is it? Because... this is Washington.

    Edward Malus: I'm aware of that.

    Sister Beech: Then fine.

    Edward Malus: No, Mrs. Beech, it is not fine. It is anything but fine when a person is lost. Especially a child.

    [as a bee lands on the bartop, he smushes it with his stein]

    Sister Beech: Now, why would you go and do a thing like that?

    Edward Malus: Sorry, I'm allergic.