1
"Why did you give birth to me?"
I rarely write film reviews. If I have to do it, it is either because the film is too good, or the film is too bad, or the film is too bad and is said to be too good, or the film is too good and is said to be too bad.
"Capernaum" belongs to the first kind, which is so good that it makes people feel distressed.
I prefer the literal translation of "Capernaum" to the new translation of the mainland Chinese name "How to Think of Home". Capernaum was originally a place name in the Bible. It is located near the Sea of Galilee in Israel today and is now in ruins. In English and French, "Capernaum" (Capernaum) also has the meaning of "chaos and irregularities", and this is exactly what the film shows.
The film tells the bitter story of a 12-year-old Lebanese boy, Zane, who was born in a slum in the capital Beirut and squeezed in a dilapidated attic with his parents and seven siblings for many years. Zane and his younger siblings have never been to school. In addition to doing odd jobs and selling hand-made juices, they are also abused and beaten by their parents from time to time.
Because the parents are illegal residents who have been deported by the government, the children do not have a birth certificate or identity document that can prove their legitimacy. The poor parents do not even know their exact date of birth.
Zane went through the hardships of life, but ended up in jail for hurting others. In despair, he took his parents to court:
He sued his parents for letting him come into this world, but failed to raise him properly, and failed to give him the education, health and love he deserved. His mother told Zane in prison that he was about to "become a brother" again, and he had to let out his angry cry:
I hope that adults will listen to me, and I hope that those who are unable to raise children will not have another child. I only remember violence, insults, beatings, chains, pipes, belts. The softest sentence I have ever heard is, "Go away, bitch stuff", "Go away, you rubbish". Life is a pile of shit, no more valuable than my shoes. Life is a bitch, I think we can live decently and be loved by everyone. But God doesn't want us to be like this. He would rather us do dishwashing.
This is like a heavy slap on the face of the boy’s parents, as well as on the faces of many "reproductive cancer patients".
You are impoverished, can't eat enough, and can't even feed yourself. Why did you give birth to me?
This country is full of wars and refugees. Why do you want me to come to this suffering land?
If you only gave birth to me to abandon, torture, and insult me, then why did you let me come into this world?
2
Infertility is incomplete life?
In recent years, when I go home during the Spring Festival, I always find that I have another cousin or niece. When I hold them in my arms, the motherhood in my bones will indeed surge.
I look forward to the moment I become a mother, but I have always understood some DINK friends around me very well, and I never deliberately speculate or make malicious accusations. I'm just glad that my ideas and life direction "just" fit with traditional practices, and I'm glad that I don't have to spend a lot of time to fight against tradition.
But if I am a sterile DINK, I also don't want to be kidnapped by the social notions that "a sterile life is incomplete", "There are three filial piety, and no one is great".
Because having children is not a warm treat to dinner.
The birth of a new life is accompanied by great responsibilities. And this delivery process of raising newborns and educating adults is indeed a time-consuming, labor-intensive, tricky project that cannot be underestimated, and the success or failure of this project is uncertain, and risks coexist.
The DINKs are unwilling to take such risks, but it does not mean that traditional parents who have experienced pregnancy in October become "saints" at the moment their children fall to the ground.
It's like the second son Liu Xing jokingly said in "A Family Has Children": "Who let you give birth to me? Did I agree?"
Can I understand this question, which will never be answered, as: "Without the consent of the child, I brought him into this world where beauty and suffering coexist without authorization. Are parents responsible for this?"
Is it necessary to have the corresponding financial ability to enable children to grow up in a healthy and prosperous environment?
Even if life is difficult, do you have to give him the love and care that he deserves?
Should we try our best to educate him and make him a person of sound personality instead of becoming a scourge to society?
Rather than being driven by the so-called conceptual pressure, at the so-called age, he hurriedly brings a life into this world, giving birth without nurturing, nurturing without teaching. In this case, I advise you to not give birth.
The father in the film "Capernaum" defended himself in court this way:
What's wrong with me? I was born this way, and I grew up this way. From childhood to adulthood, others told me, "Without children, you are not a man" and "Children are your backbone." How can I know that one day I will be pierced by my own spine.
What a high-sounding rhetoric!
I am not opposed to you multiplying and spreading the incense, but regardless of your own ability, you will give birth to more and more blindly, leaving the whole family displaced and paying for your ignorance. What is it not ridiculous?
Five children, the 12-year-old son used to work to help the family, the 11-year-old second daughter used to marry someone in exchange for a few months of rations, and the others were kept for future use.
No child is born in the name of love, but they are all tools used by parents to make a living and profit, so how embarrassed to blame the son for finally picking up a knife and stabbing the wicked man who hurt his sister.
Does this kind of fertility make your life "complete"? It just makes your life more sad.
3
Reversed education?
I have always disliked the "grateful education" in China.
I still remember a public service advertisement of "Mothers Washing Feet", which brought the gratitude education of primary and secondary schools to an embarrassing situation. The teachers assigned homework and asked the students to wash their parents' feet at home, to feel the hardships of raising you to an adult, and to express gratitude to the parents with practical actions.
Even when there was a parent meeting, the teachers asked the students to bow to their parents on the spot, giving them such a "great gift."
At the same time, the chaos in the parent-child relationship in reality is embarrassing:
Young couples with little parenting experience scalded their children and got edema from premature feeding of complementary foods;
In patriarchal families, girls have been bullied by their elder brothers and take on most of the housework, but they are forced to drop out of school to help make ends meet with their excellent grades;
There are also some parents who use their children as a tool for comparison, forcing them to attend various cram school interest classes. They must take first place every time in the exam, and never let the children breathe...
From this perspective, this stage is more important than instilling various gratitude concepts in children’s ignorant childhood and making them bear the kind debts of "I owe you when I was born and raised." Isn't it an education for parents?
Learn how to raise children, learn how to respect children, learn how to love children correctly, learn scientific education methods, and even learn to try to change some of their inherent decadent concepts...
Parents’ love is in place, and the gratitude education for children will come naturally as long as a little guidance is needed, where it is necessary to do it deliberately.
Because the education of love has always moistened things quietly.
In the Korean drama "Please Answer 1988", Deshan's father apologized to his daughter after being wronged once and said:
"Deshan, it's the first time my dad came to be a dad in this world. Please bear with me if you don't do well."
Yes, but it doesn't mean you can't work hard to learn how to be good.
Did anyone hear my cry?
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