When we watched "He Doesn't Like You That", we got a lot of classic quotes, among which my favorite are the following two sentences:
"If a man doesn't care much about you on the surface, he really doesn't care about you, no exceptions."
“Sometimes we would rather believe that a man is too stressed, too tired, too inferior, too sensitive, has a childhood shadow or loves an ex-girlfriend too much, but we don’t want to admit a simple fact. Yes, he is not too busy, nor is he injured. , It’s not that there is a psychological shadow, or that the phone fell into the toilet or suffers from amnesia. He just doesn’t like you that much. ”
Liz Tuccillo, the author of the King of Sentences, also contributed a lot of classic lines in the movie "Guide to Singles" this time. These lines involve the concept of love, parenting, and career, some of which I personally like very much, and I will share with you here.
Not long after her debut, Meg briefly explained her views on marriage and parenting through what she said to a pregnant woman expecting to give birth. She believes that having a baby will make her body slack, she will no longer be able to sleep at ease, and she will lose her right to chase dreams. More importantly, the whole society will feel that this is a "sacrifice" that a woman must make.
In our social cognition, everyone seems to think that getting married and having a baby is a necessary parameter for the fulfillment of the whole life. If these are not completed, it seems that they are unfaithful, unfilial and unrighteous bad guys. However, I am 32 years old and still haven't found a reason that can really convince me to let me enter the marriage hall willingly.
If you are concerned about social hot spots, Papi sauce, one of the oldest Internet celebrities, has become a hot topic again recently. In a reality show called "My Girlfriend", actor Jiao Junyan had an appointment with his friend Papi sauce. The two talked about the most important rankings in the lives of independent women. The order given by papi sauce is: self>partner>child>parents, and Jiao Junyan also puts herself first.
The fathers in the program observation room obviously didn't understand this sorting. Jiao Junyan's father bluntly said that they were too selfish to think about sorting in this way. However, this sorting, to some extent, also represents the mentality of young people who want to pay more attention to themselves and are unwilling to be restrained by family, love and friendship.
Since it is a parent-child show, it is inevitable that the topic of urging marriage will be discussed. In the parents’ cognitive system, getting married means that there will be someone to take care of in the future and someone to be able to discuss things in the future. To a certain extent, it is an act of risk-sharing and benefit-sharing. They get the life they want from this social relationship, and naturally hope that their children can copy this life.
In my 30s this year, I am often forced to face the dilemma of urging marriage. I don't want my parents to be too sad, so I will deal with the blind date they arranged. But in order for them not to be too disappointed in the end, I always vaccinate my parents and tell them that marriage is not a necessary condition for me to achieve and complete my life.
In the film review "Finding You", I once wrote such a sentence: "The reason why women are forced to do the multiple-choice question of "choose family or career" is because the whole society acquiesces that mothers have to bear more than fathers. Numerous parenting responsibilities. Compared with society’s almost harsh demands on women, tolerance for men can be said to be "heinous"."
Compared to countries in India, Africa or the Middle East, China has done a very good job of equality between men and women. But we should also be able to see that even though many women are doing well at work, they still bear more family responsibilities. So, who cares about their dreams?
Having said so much, one thing I must clarify is that I am not a celibate, let alone a DINK family. I hope to have a marriage that makes me feel peaceful, and I want to enjoy family happiness in my old age, but I will not choose to get married hastily because of the "moral kidnapping" of my family. I put myself first in the matter of getting married, after all, this is the life I will live after.
Before meeting my Mr. Right, I think I have learned to get along well with my single self. I like watching movies and diving. Whenever I want to go shopping, I can make friends with friends. If you have your own hobbies, you can also make money to support yourself. In this way, when the right person appears in front of me, I can make my right choice more calmly.
Before analyzing this line of Robin and Alice, let's take a look at why Alice must break up with Josh, who is about to enter the palace of marriage, and find her independent self. From the film, we can see that Alice grew up under the care of her parents and met her boyfriend Josh not long after entering university.
In her words, she lived with her parents before, but she lived with her boyfriend after she left home. She hasn't really experienced celibacy in the real sense, and after returning home from a nightclub party, she has no way to pull down the zipper of her dress by herself. Alice's proposal to "pause" seems to me just to get rid of dependence on Josh, but she has never really been psychologically independent.
The Alice in this movie reminds me of Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin) in "He Doesn't Like You That" . They are all people who are extremely lacking in love. As long as others give a glance, they think that they are interesting to them. They will quickly fall in love with each other, and even think about how many children will be required after the wedding.
When Alice was about to learn to be independent, I thought she would become another devil who crosses the streets of New York, like Anne Hathaway, who wears Prada. As a result, Alice just got drunk from one bar to another, woke up in a different person's bed and then left quietly. This is just living from one man to another man, it is not independent at all.
Women who can't live without a man, and girls who regard love as their first priority in life, are really sad.
"The Singles Guide" has always emphasized that people need to have a kind of ability, that is, to know how to distinguish between Alone and Lonely . Alone and Lonely are not the same thing. The former just means being alone, while the latter has a certain loneliness.
At the end of the film, Alice recalled the people she experienced around her. She slowly discovered that instead of getting lost in the relationship between men and women again and again, it is better to find who you are. She began to work out planned, read books, and even made gadgets that could help her smoothly pull the zipper on the back of her dress. Then one day, she finally went to the Grand Canyon that she had always wanted to see the sunrise.
At the end of the article, I want to share with you Alice's monologue at the end of the film, for those girls who are unwilling to compromise with secular opinions and do not intend to make love all. I want to use this short paragraph to tell everyone that learning to be alone in a timely manner allows us to embrace a better self .
I've been thinking that the time we have to be single, is really the time we have to get good at being alone.
But, how good at being alone do we really want to be?
Isn't there a danger that you'll get so good at being single, so set in your ways, that you'll miss out the chance to be with somebody great? Is it a dangerous thing?)
Some people take baby steps to settle down. (Some people take baby steps to settle down.)
Some people refuse to settle at all. (Some people refuse to settle at all.)
Sometimes, it's not statistics. (Sometimes, love is not statistics, numbers, formulas, probability.)
It's just chemistry. (It's just chemistry.)
And sometimes, just because it is over, doesn't mean the love ends.
The thing about being single is you should cherish it.
Because in a week or a lifetime of being alone, you may only get one moment, one moment when you're not tied up in a relationship with anyone, a parent, a pet, a sibling, a friend. (Because, in this After a lonely week or a lonely life, you will find this moment, and only such a moment, you have no emotional intersection with anyone, even your parents, your pets, your siblings, and your friends. )
One moment, when you stand on your own, really truly single.
And then, it's gone.
(over)
The 80s Libra girl who likes film and television dramas, food and travel, likes all novel and warm things
If you like my article, please leave a message to communicate with me
View more about How to Be Single reviews
